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Oh Spider-Man, why can't Hollywood get you right?
14 years ago
So what I take from the trailer that's circulating around for the new Amazing Spider-Man movie is that its going to be even MORE devoid of humor and snark and sarcasm than the previous movie. Why does everyone want to only play up the angst or the crippling nerdiness of the character? Give us smartass Spidey goddamn it.
Life got him down? Bills? Super villains? Girl troubles? He doesn't angst about it and have prolonged periods of depressed navel gazing, he snarkily laments his troubles to a gargoyle decoration 50 stories above the street and then insults the Rhino until the guy spazzes out and eats a bus full of orphans.
Gimme the fucking script and a big red sharpie. I'll give the movie going audience AT LEAST 15 minutes of the Rhino drunkenly attempting to ingest screaming brats while Spidey kidney punches him and makes comments about how eating kids will go right to his thighs and waistline and how he doesn't need cellulite issues in addition to the dry skin and cranial protrusions.
Yes yes. It is still just the first real trailer to be released. Yes there could be far more to it than the trailer suggests. But it says "grim, gritty, emotional coming of age superhero story full of tears and angst and rage" to me. And that just doesn't float my boat. Someone hire Tony Stark to build a new writer for the Spidey Hollywood franchise. At least he'd make sure some goddamn fun was injected into things.
Life got him down? Bills? Super villains? Girl troubles? He doesn't angst about it and have prolonged periods of depressed navel gazing, he snarkily laments his troubles to a gargoyle decoration 50 stories above the street and then insults the Rhino until the guy spazzes out and eats a bus full of orphans.
Gimme the fucking script and a big red sharpie. I'll give the movie going audience AT LEAST 15 minutes of the Rhino drunkenly attempting to ingest screaming brats while Spidey kidney punches him and makes comments about how eating kids will go right to his thighs and waistline and how he doesn't need cellulite issues in addition to the dry skin and cranial protrusions.
Yes yes. It is still just the first real trailer to be released. Yes there could be far more to it than the trailer suggests. But it says "grim, gritty, emotional coming of age superhero story full of tears and angst and rage" to me. And that just doesn't float my boat. Someone hire Tony Stark to build a new writer for the Spidey Hollywood franchise. At least he'd make sure some goddamn fun was injected into things.
The best example of how Spidey should sound really was in the Spectacular Spider-Man cartoon - chattering mindlessly, pissing villains off, needling their every perceived flaw until they got too damn mad to think straight and fight effectively.
I mean, hell, if you want to go all bleak-and-angsty and broody, why not just make another Daredevil movie?
When you get a director who actually cares about the original he is making a movie of, the result is almost always box office gold- but hollywood tends to care about how cheaply a director works- not about whether they will actually respect someone else's creation when they portray it on the big screen.
Right now, superheroes are seen as easy Big Money, and studios are out to capitalize as rapidly as possible because they think the fad will fade away quickly.
So we get steaming turds like the last Superman movie, and any number of others I can't be bothered to remember off the top of my head.
The execs can't understand why something like Iron Man breaks records, and Green Lantern flops...Because they can't see that one was done with respect and care, and the other so confused and conflicting in its messages that the audience couldn't take it seriously.
Bunch of shit for brains, making hundred million dollar decisions and too full of themselves to actually listen to the fans....
-Badger-
Also for cheap lulz, the tie-in video game was called Green Lantern: Rise of The Manhunters.
Seriously? Manhunters? Can anyone thing of anything that screams 'ghey' more in a subtitle like that?
Mr. Stark was pretty angsty in his last one :<
I was kinda upset not much of his sarcasm and charm
as the first one
2. Maguire always looked and sounded like he would break into tears any second, with added bad street dancing and black emoness in the third movie. This guy looks like a sparklefag from Twilight. From bad, to worse II.
3. How about something that we haven't seen too often? Someone make a goddamn Clone Saga arc movie. That shit was RAD in the 90s animated series. Or the Man-Spider arc, that would work too.
And I agree story wise. Everyone already knows who Spider-Man is, what he does, why he does, and how he became Spider-Man. Its waste of time and film to go over the origin again. Move on and do something awesome.
Hell, if all else fails, they could make the movie out of the Web of Shadows game. Nobody's gonna fucking dislike giant Venom-Hydra.
Although it sounds like you've got vore on the brain
Actually, that sort of reminds me of some of Jollyjack's own analysis of the next Spider-Man but also the next batman(which actually made him wonder if in a fashion the -villains- are the ones who shape super-heroes movies more than the actual heroes as he was analysing Dark Knight versus the upcoming movie's trailer and the original Batman Begins' own set of villains, and went about the spider-man franchise in a similar way noting the focus on angst).
And with the fact that the current Spidey IS a reboot, he was asking himself if he should similarly starting to dread the possibility of a Iron Man reboot "except in school, with all the snark and fun taken out to be replaced by tween emodrama...".
The sad thing is I think that,s what one of the Iron Man cartoon -actually- IS :S .... and what very little I glimpsed of it truly did suck. Which does make me dread if Iron Man is to be ever rebooted a=la Spidey