Who are you?
Who are we all...? ♪ Twilight Zone Theme ♪

What should I call you?
YOUR ETERNAL LORD AND MASTER!

Can I talk to you?
Aren't you already?

Can I message you?
Are you buying art? If so, Yes!

Can I be your friend?
Define "friend".

Can I critique your art?
Can you? Probably. May you? Well, it's a free country.

Can I draw you?
You assume someone would want to draw me in the first place. =p

Can I hug you?
Got tits?

Can I kiss you?
Three answers: if woman, you may kiss my lips. If man, you may kiss my boots. If you're an asshole, you may kiss my ass.
Pucker up. ;-*

Can I yiff you?
How black and busty are you? ;D

Any major turn-ons?
Yes.

Any major no-nos?
Yes.