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Chuck Norris
14 years ago
General
Chuck Norris parties alone cuz Pinkie Pie's are better.
If Chuck Norris drove a truck, he'd drive Optimus Prime crazy.
Chuck Norris met a wood chuck. He became Chell Norris.
Chuck Norris rode a bear into a car wash instead of taking a shower. Then a bunch of angry moms kicked his round house square.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks everything. That's why he has no friends.
Chuck Norris ate a grenade once. The grenade was given a medal of honor.
Chuck Norris scared Fluttershy. Seriously? Fuck you, Chuck Norris. Leave Fluttershy alone!
Chuck Norris harvested Sweet Apple Acres in one kick. The apples rotted before they could be picked up off the ground.
Chuck Norris doesn't insert random bullshit here. Random bullshit inserts Chuck Norris.
I hate Chuck Norris so much, his foot broke.
Pirates and ninjas agree, cowboys suck.
Chuck Norris doesn't watch My Little Pony. He's not manly enough.
Chuck Norris hates me back, but I don't care, so his other foot broke.
When Chuck Norris burns a scroll, he gets arrested for unlicensed mail carrying.
Chuck Norris makes the troll face look handsome.
Chuck Norris makes Hulk Hogan's acting look serious.
Chuck Norris was frozen today.
Arnold Shwartzenager is Luke Skywalker's grandfather. Chuck Norris had nothing to do with it.
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OK, I don't have anything against Chuck Norris as a person. I just got done reading chucknorrisfacts.com, and most of them were so freaking stupid, I just had to write these. If it offends anyone, deal with it.
If Chuck Norris drove a truck, he'd drive Optimus Prime crazy.
Chuck Norris met a wood chuck. He became Chell Norris.
Chuck Norris rode a bear into a car wash instead of taking a shower. Then a bunch of angry moms kicked his round house square.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks everything. That's why he has no friends.
Chuck Norris ate a grenade once. The grenade was given a medal of honor.
Chuck Norris scared Fluttershy. Seriously? Fuck you, Chuck Norris. Leave Fluttershy alone!
Chuck Norris harvested Sweet Apple Acres in one kick. The apples rotted before they could be picked up off the ground.
Chuck Norris doesn't insert random bullshit here. Random bullshit inserts Chuck Norris.
I hate Chuck Norris so much, his foot broke.
Pirates and ninjas agree, cowboys suck.
Chuck Norris doesn't watch My Little Pony. He's not manly enough.
Chuck Norris hates me back, but I don't care, so his other foot broke.
When Chuck Norris burns a scroll, he gets arrested for unlicensed mail carrying.
Chuck Norris makes the troll face look handsome.
Chuck Norris makes Hulk Hogan's acting look serious.
Chuck Norris was frozen today.
Arnold Shwartzenager is Luke Skywalker's grandfather. Chuck Norris had nothing to do with it.
----
OK, I don't have anything against Chuck Norris as a person. I just got done reading chucknorrisfacts.com, and most of them were so freaking stupid, I just had to write these. If it offends anyone, deal with it.
My (ex?)stepson worships Chuck Norris because of that meme. I tried showing him his terrible acting on "Walker, Texas Ranger," but that backfired with him becoming a fan of the show. ><
Seriously... Fuck Chuck Norris. Yes, he had incredible martial arts skills in his day. But he's gotten rusty, and he can't act.