I was lost, it seems. For many years I have restricted myself and denied myself any flights of fancy. What a terrible thing to do to one's self...

This might be confusing to explain, but I will try. I have actively avoided certain things because I stopped believing... I have avoided allowing myself to be involved in the Furry Fandom, not wanting it to consume my life... Instead I have allowed my creativity to atrophy, wasting away my time playing video games and feeling remorse over the loss of my muse.

The truth is that I have always been the one stopping myself. I have been afraid of success. I have stopped believing in fairy tales, thereby feeling that any measure of success was forever unattainable because that is the stuff of fairy tales, and I don't believe they exist...

Certain things have come to pass lately that are helping to open my eyes again and give me a glimmer of renewed hope in their existence. For the first time in over ten years I have actually watched some anime. I think the significance of this is that anime is full of epic quests, heroes, and love: the stuff of fairy tales.

I feel like drawing again. I feel like writing again. I feel like programming and composing again. I don't want to waste away without the world knowing me, even if but as an acquaintance.

My friends... I do not ask for your help often, but I ask for it now. Please, if there are any words of encouragement and wisdom you may spare, I ask you for them now.

And... Kitten, I want to be a significant part of your life. I want you to be a part of my family.

Thank you friends for reading.