I've been wondering why the fuck anybody even gives me the time of day. I'm no good at anything, never have been. I'm horrible at art, so i wonder why people watch me, im guessing its just polite watch-backs. I'm just a plain fuck-up, I don't have anything to look forward to, I don't even stand out enough for my own fucking parents to know my fucking name. All day at work today I was thinking about suicide. Part of me wants to do it, but then theres another part that says "this is only temporary, it'll get better soon." For 3 years of counseling they have been telling me its going to get better, I just have to wait a little while, and each time I visited them, I was getting worse. I'm so fucking confused, part of me wants to reach out for help, the other wants everyone to just leave me to die. I feel so out of place in the real world, I cant talk to anyone, people stare at me, I cant stand it. And pretty much the only place where I feel I can be tolerated is here, where I feel like I'm just a burden, whining and posting shitty art that should be deleted. No matter what I do, and I'm always trying my hardest, I always end up disappointing someone. Right now I just want to crawl under my bed and cry until I cant cry anymore, and stay there until everyone including me forgets I exist

...I'm sorry about posting that. Ive been having a hard time lately. I had to get something off my chest. I was hoping it would make me feel better, but its just making me worry.