Was up all night Thursday and lasted til about 4 Friday because of it. That and all the crying I did really killed my eyes.. And the fuzz on the inside of my fur suit head.. Bleh.. Stayed up all night tonight and got absolutely nothing done. After all that's happened, I feel so let down. I feel let down by not just the suit maker but I'm realizing who my real friends are and it hurts. I'm so un-motivated lately. I love to draw and I draw on lined paper all the time. But the fact I have to take a picture with my phone and then re-do the entire pic (for line-art) is getting to me. I wish it could all be digital. I've applied for a job all over but I won't have the money for this ticket in time. My mom says that since I was relying on my suit for so much and for a good time in Colorado, maybe it's a sign. So many bad things have happened lately, maybe there's a reason I shouldn't get on that plane. Granted, I love Tal to bits, he's the greatest friend I could ask for, and I want to see him so badly, but.. I am deathly afraid of heights. I don't know how well I'll do on an airplane. And I don't trust other people with my property unless they're as close to me as Tal is. And what if the plane crashes? I dunno.. Maybe I'll wait. It's only.. -counts- 10 months til about when I can move out there with them. Possibly longer, I dunno. Anyways, there's fuzz in my eyes still and it hurts and I'm getting tired again ;-; I'm really sorry to everyone I owe art trades with. Even those of you who haven't done your side yet (basically everyone), but I will get to it. I promise I will. u.u I'm just.. I'm realizing so much in my life right now and at the same time, planning too much. That's the problem with me, I guess.. Heh.. Planning too far into the future. I set myself up for disappointment time and time again.. And I'm sorry for bringing disappointment onto you guys..



Sorry for this.. I just.. I needed to write it out.. I needed to write something..






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Ignore this~



Things I Owe:
AT with Impish-Inzanity - Anthro of http://impish-inzanity.deviantart.c.....iger-220405919 - Working on lines
AT with Animaluver21 - Small pixel of http://animaluver21.deviantart.com/.....-pic-214670522 - Not started
AT with Brookkit of a "cat anthro"




Things People Owe Me:
PC of Reht journal doll and Rodney badge from deidarapanther
PC of Chubby Reht from SkaterGator
AT with Impish-Inzanity
Transparent Full Body Commission and Chibi Character Prize from Donnecha
AT with Brookkit