very soon. i dont know how long ill have internet.

the six+ months i have been out of alaska have been trying times for me. i have lost alot... my dog tucker and my home mainly.
i may have lost the only good freind i had up there too.

so when i get back... there will be alot to be dealt with. it will make or break me, and possibly my career.
im lucky that life is still throwing stuff at me to keep me focused and happy. mainly the good freinds i have made online in the years i have been in the airforce.
one of them surprised me, shook me to my core and became the love of my life. im not ashamed to admit it. given the chance, i would do anything within my power for him.
and the emotional response i have with him is keeping me going. i feel alive again. like im worth something... like there is a reason for me to be doing the things i do. it makes me smile to think of him and the nice things he has to say about me, as crazy and self revealing as i can be.

thank you.
and thank you my freinds. for being there and talking with me when i need it.