Well now -

I finally received Tao (my first suit) in the mail Fedex International only one day before the con. I'm eternally indebted to  nevermint for his having previously loaned me many a suit for other suiting events over the past years. It was always incredibly enjoyable, but I never failed to take the responsibility of honoring his characters seriously, so I was never completely able to rock out with my own personality. Finally, after a year of anticipation, I had my own fur to wear... and epicness quickly ensued.

For those who have not fursuited, or do not own their own suit: You gotta get down on this.

Wearing a character that I have worked revision after revision with the various artists involved ( fluke and  onefurall), along with the pure anticipation that comes with 12 long months of waiting, sent me through so many powerful emotions. Everything from pride and elation, to overanalyzation and criticality. Striving for perfection and then learning to accept that the suit itself, like any piece of artwork is *never* finished, rather abandoned and declared "perfect enough." I have nothing but respect for artists (fursuit and otherwise) who have trained themselves to toe that line between obsession and attention to detail. (Erro! :-P)

I've thought some, also, about the psychology behind the various reactions to the Tao suit as well. I recall well my first reaction to Nevermint's Jager a handful of years back, the first suit that I (admitted to myself) I had a crush on. It was a nervous combination of desire, sheepishness, vicarious envy, arousal... even a hint of misplaced shame. Now, through the eyes of Tao I saw all of those emotions in various people and many more. Probably the most extreme being a cute feline who was completely unable to look me in the eye or even speak complete sentences to me. Funny how in some cases, deftly crafted synthetic fabric can cause such primal human emotions. Then again "normal people" foam and fap-off to the lies of Hollywood makeup and lighting and fabricated personas all the time. No difference really.

As I live with Tao over the next years, I wonder how he will grow - both physical alterations and my own emotional connection. I'm sure parts of him will glow in the dark, and other parts will move electronically, and he may develop his own synthesized voice (all things that are on my drawing board as an electrical engineer). How close will I become to my suit? What would be my reaction if he ever loses a paw? Will he fall out of favor as I buy or (hopefully) make other suits? How will I see my first suit years from now, when fursuit technology makes him as obsolete as Nintendo?

/shrug/ shit I donno.