Im not feeling all to well....
I mean.... I have little to no drive to do anything.... you know?
I feel.... not like I want to die... more like I just want to sit in the stratosphere and watch the world, slowly rotting away....
I still have things I want to do.... I just dont feel like doing.... anything... you know?

I just... feel empty.... I mean.... even fapping feels kind of like a chore....
I have things I want to do, and I am hoping that the school year will get me back on track with my writing and drawing and everything.....

I feel.... sooo.... Drained? That doesnt completely describe it... but it is the closest I can think of to describe this feeling.....



soooo... yeahhh.....
just be whining and complaining and bitching as usual




oh, also... I stopped having night mares and flash backs about a.... -ahem- incident that occurred a bit ago......

though, lately... I have had a handful of extreamly odd and off dreams.....

one was.... I forget what movie it was like, I wanna say deep blue....
whats that movie that was about the scientists that genetically engeneered sharks to be smarter and stuff so they could find a cure for altimerz or some bs like that, but theres a storm and the sharks get loose... theres the black guy that was suposed to be the chef with the parrot that survives in the end along with that diver guy...?
idk.... ANYWAY!!! that dream. we were in an under water part of a building, and we were scuba diving for scientific research.... I was undressing and putting away my scuba gear after a dive, and me and this girl were talking (she caught me naked and cracked a joke or two about my junk, and I quickly covered up)... we flirted back and fourth a little bit, then the other divers that we have to work with walked in (i was in boxars already)... they picked on me (because I was new to the team and I wasnt off to a good start).... I made some good points and relly pissed on dude in particular off. He swore he'd see me dead if its the last thing he did. (the girl I was flirting with was 1, beautiful, 2, the guys ex that I really pissed off/was making fun of me.... she had read hair, soft pale skin, deep green eyes... a bit scrawney.... about a b cup if I had to guess... painted he nails dark blue.... not an unholy shade of white on her teeth like in toothpaste comercials (meaning she had regular human teeth, aposed to TOO perfect, you know), and she didnt have any make-up, facial hair (other than eye brows), no lipstick... god... she was perfect)
lol, I woke up after that A-hole said hed'd kill me

ANOTHER DREAM I HAD
I dont remember much of it, but I was taking care of myself as a baby.... it was creepy.... It wasnt just a baby boy that looked like I did, it was actually me.... I dont remember much other than bathing it, changing it (or at least trying to, but it peed all over the f*cking couch....)..... thats about all there really was that I remember....


another one was alians attacking my school... there was a machine that made the ground cave in... or... actually, the water turned into water or something.... swirling pools of water.... the aliens ships looked interesting too.... I cant remember what them or the ships look like...... I remember they were cool looking, but I dont remember how they look....

I dont know if theres hidden meanings in there or what.... just kinda just saying.....