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Ffffft, little rant/stuff
14 years ago
This took me 50 minutes to type on my Nintendo DSi.
I love everything, except me. I've heard you cant love anything until you love yourself but thats a bunch of bullshit. I care and love my friends like family. Its just that I can't come to like myself. Why, I still need to know myself. I've become more and more depressed by the day and I have thought terrible things. I say to myself that no one cares, no one likes me, why would anyone like fat, retarded person like me. I do know that people do care, but It's hard to believe it when I've been told it too many times.
I think why I'm into this fandom is that there is something other than reality and that I can escape to it. Having friends that aren't furries and having friends that are, is just a great thing. I think theres more to it than just that, but I need to dive deeper into it.
I'm happy, but not.
Other than that, things are going well. School almost starts. I am still in special-ed classes, but it doesn't bother me. Why am I in them? Well, I can't be in a class with more than ten people, and the work is easier. Its explained differently than regular classes, and most of all, there is barely any homework. Quite nice actually to be a smart mentally disabled person.
/end of message
I love everything, except me. I've heard you cant love anything until you love yourself but thats a bunch of bullshit. I care and love my friends like family. Its just that I can't come to like myself. Why, I still need to know myself. I've become more and more depressed by the day and I have thought terrible things. I say to myself that no one cares, no one likes me, why would anyone like fat, retarded person like me. I do know that people do care, but It's hard to believe it when I've been told it too many times.
I think why I'm into this fandom is that there is something other than reality and that I can escape to it. Having friends that aren't furries and having friends that are, is just a great thing. I think theres more to it than just that, but I need to dive deeper into it.
I'm happy, but not.
Other than that, things are going well. School almost starts. I am still in special-ed classes, but it doesn't bother me. Why am I in them? Well, I can't be in a class with more than ten people, and the work is easier. Its explained differently than regular classes, and most of all, there is barely any homework. Quite nice actually to be a smart mentally disabled person.
/end of message
Also, if it makes you feel any better, I'm in a special Ed. class (well, school, actually) as well. My reasons for such are that I am (apparently) mildly autistic. And that I was too much of a punk in my old school for them to want to deal with me.
And, heh, yeah, despite the stigma of special ed. classes, the 'no homework' thing is nice. lol.
/All I have to offer. I am terrible at consoling/advice given.
People don't get why I'm in those classes, because Im smart and have a really high IQ.
It's weird man.
I don't really see the Special Ed. classes/schools as for 'dumb/slow' kids. I just see it as, well a specialized, alternative education plan.