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"jux quit attracting weird shit into my room"
14 years ago
ok so i practice some chaos magic, its hard to explain and the entire point is that it varies from person to person
but part of it is kinda like giving so much power to a thought that it becomes powerful in a sense, and you can have it do shit. magic spells and all that too. it's a bit crazy. but I have a ton of faith in it, and it's always worked for me.
so I have this god that I made for myself, his name is domino, he is a master of causality and he looks like a fucking weirdo, but thats part of his thing. he has these goofy teeth and he lacks a lower jaw and he has these trademark big google eyes. google eyes, that's also his thing. or just eyes in general.
anyway, I'll get back to him, but ever since i was young I've had these weird things come into my room at night... shadow blobs, sometimes creatures. I might have psychosis, but it's never affected my life to the point of "oh shit I need to get checked out".
so yeah, none of my "night buddies" have ever really been mean or scary and none of them ever really bothered me. and when they do I just dont look at them and then they leave me be. My girlfriend has kindly requested that I not talk about them or announce when they appear because well, it's scary shit to folks who aren't used to it. I mean, you'd probably be disturbed too if you were cuddling your lover at night when they just are like "yo, theres this big black snaky dude in the corner, scratching at your wall, he's pretty neat". its just not a normal thing to hear.
last night it was a bit rough though. I woke up from a really bad nightmare to find this thing standing at the foot of the bed, holding what appeared to vaguely be a video camera. he was slightly see-through, and had this pair of glowing blank eyes. i stared at him for about three seconds before I realized that he was really fucking terrifying and that I shouldn't be staring at him. so I close my eyes shut and clung to my girlfriend for a good ten minutes before working up the nerve to roll over into a comfortable position with my eyes still shut. I told it to leave in my mind and I got a couple of unintelligible squeaks that sounded like "wee.. iiisjfihr3ognfdnfchhhhhhssssssssss" or something like that. i think he couldn't speak because I wasnt looking at him... thats just the way it works, they draw power from attention, which is why if they bother me, my first instinct is to not look.
but back to domino... I felt something prodding me lightly and i got nervous. i shifted a bit and saw this one child eye flash in my mind, like a clipping from a family ad in a magazine or something and then I distinctly heard, "chill the fuck out, its just me" now, he said that in a way of implying that the thing at the foot of my bed was him, and I know domino isn't a bad dude, but part of me wondered if my nightmare had attracted a more hostile form of him. that thought was slightly confirmed when after waking up the next day, I inspected the half finished painting of him that I had propped up against a wall. it had been covered up with a bit of cardboard so that half of his face was showing, the side where I hadn't filled in his eye yet. it occurred to me that it was the same kind of blank, pupil-less eye that was staring at me last night.
I need to be more carful with him.
my girlfriend isnt a big fan of domino to begin with; she hates the fact that he has no lower jaw. When I told her about this incident she remarked that she never had fucked up things in her room before I came along. hence the title.
moral of the story- don't worry about shit before you go to bed, it'll make you get nightmares and turn your self made god buddy into a weird scary thing.
yall probably think i'm schizo... I see you judge'n
but part of it is kinda like giving so much power to a thought that it becomes powerful in a sense, and you can have it do shit. magic spells and all that too. it's a bit crazy. but I have a ton of faith in it, and it's always worked for me.
so I have this god that I made for myself, his name is domino, he is a master of causality and he looks like a fucking weirdo, but thats part of his thing. he has these goofy teeth and he lacks a lower jaw and he has these trademark big google eyes. google eyes, that's also his thing. or just eyes in general.
anyway, I'll get back to him, but ever since i was young I've had these weird things come into my room at night... shadow blobs, sometimes creatures. I might have psychosis, but it's never affected my life to the point of "oh shit I need to get checked out".
so yeah, none of my "night buddies" have ever really been mean or scary and none of them ever really bothered me. and when they do I just dont look at them and then they leave me be. My girlfriend has kindly requested that I not talk about them or announce when they appear because well, it's scary shit to folks who aren't used to it. I mean, you'd probably be disturbed too if you were cuddling your lover at night when they just are like "yo, theres this big black snaky dude in the corner, scratching at your wall, he's pretty neat". its just not a normal thing to hear.
last night it was a bit rough though. I woke up from a really bad nightmare to find this thing standing at the foot of the bed, holding what appeared to vaguely be a video camera. he was slightly see-through, and had this pair of glowing blank eyes. i stared at him for about three seconds before I realized that he was really fucking terrifying and that I shouldn't be staring at him. so I close my eyes shut and clung to my girlfriend for a good ten minutes before working up the nerve to roll over into a comfortable position with my eyes still shut. I told it to leave in my mind and I got a couple of unintelligible squeaks that sounded like "wee.. iiisjfihr3ognfdnfchhhhhhssssssssss" or something like that. i think he couldn't speak because I wasnt looking at him... thats just the way it works, they draw power from attention, which is why if they bother me, my first instinct is to not look.
but back to domino... I felt something prodding me lightly and i got nervous. i shifted a bit and saw this one child eye flash in my mind, like a clipping from a family ad in a magazine or something and then I distinctly heard, "chill the fuck out, its just me" now, he said that in a way of implying that the thing at the foot of my bed was him, and I know domino isn't a bad dude, but part of me wondered if my nightmare had attracted a more hostile form of him. that thought was slightly confirmed when after waking up the next day, I inspected the half finished painting of him that I had propped up against a wall. it had been covered up with a bit of cardboard so that half of his face was showing, the side where I hadn't filled in his eye yet. it occurred to me that it was the same kind of blank, pupil-less eye that was staring at me last night.
I need to be more carful with him.
my girlfriend isnt a big fan of domino to begin with; she hates the fact that he has no lower jaw. When I told her about this incident she remarked that she never had fucked up things in her room before I came along. hence the title.
moral of the story- don't worry about shit before you go to bed, it'll make you get nightmares and turn your self made god buddy into a weird scary thing.
yall probably think i'm schizo... I see you judge'n
but yeah i'm sure a lot of people experience weird things when they were kids, it just kinda falls in line for the reasoning of it and all. like I said in my reply to punkbawkchicken's comment, I think it has to do with having a powerful imagination, and letting your subconscious have free reign
but yeah the whole thing about imagined entities is that they can only live if you think about them or pay attention to them, because the whole reason for their existence is another's thoughts or attention, since it seems that that's what they spawn from originally. my theory is that these blobs only bother or appear to those who have powerful imaginations, because when you sleep or are getting ready to, you are giving up control of your thought power and letting it do what it pleases, thus resulting in "extra friends". the dark fuels this because it is a void, and your subconscious sees the void as a canvas with which to create. Thats why its easier to hallucinate with your eyes closed rather than open.
It is interesting how the dark creates more vivid images...ever done lucid dreaming?
id love to see that