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Why I am single.
14 years ago
(Writing this for the sake of explaining it to multiple people instead of individually.)
1) I try to plan too far ahead. This is why I don't do distance/online relationships anymore. I think that I am to be partnered with someone that I want to know how they act IN PERSON. People act differently online than they do in person. And eventually I will likely want to be physically with the person I am with. I could always do an online relationship to test the waters with someone I like and if it doesn't work out in person then... yeah I could - but that leads me to point #2
2) I don't want to ruin perfectly good relationships. I have bonds with people now that I wouldn't want to ruin - and promising someone that you'll be with them, only to break it later, usually snaps the closeness you once had - and often its hard, if not impossible to get it back.
3) I am too lazy to play the dating game. I admit it. I don't want to go on dating sites, spend money in restaurants to do blind dates, go to bars to hook up with strangers, or play sports to meet people. It's just not my scene. Spending money on a date sucks too because it's almost like a black hole with no guarantee of return. You sink money into someone and it's probable that you won't be with that it wont work out (I'm negative). That money could go towards things that make you happier (like going on vacation to see friends).
4) I am very picky. And wishy washy. I could probably compile a huge list of wants and don't wants and in the end, nobody is perfect. Someday I'm going to have to accept that nobody will probably live up to all of my standards, and that I probably set the bar too high - but hey, sometimes people can surprise you. Also see #1 with this one. You never know when that online person may bother you down the road when things get past the flirty stage.
5) I still don't really know what I want sex wise. It probably comes from being a bit sheltered when I was younger, and being a late bloomer, but perhaps it's not all that bad, either. I'm still open minded - and I think I will appreciate someone more for what's between their ears rather than between their legs.
In other news - my work started today. Still too early to say if I'll enjoy it or not, but I'm leaning towards no (go negativity again!) At least it pays good and my coworkers seem nice.. I'm starting ponder over doing freelancing. Maye look over how to do it in the near future. Gonna have to start making some serious decisions in a few months.
I miss Europe. :c
PS: I did not make this for sympathy! I just wanted to explain mostly why I will say no if people want to date online ~_~
1) I try to plan too far ahead. This is why I don't do distance/online relationships anymore. I think that I am to be partnered with someone that I want to know how they act IN PERSON. People act differently online than they do in person. And eventually I will likely want to be physically with the person I am with. I could always do an online relationship to test the waters with someone I like and if it doesn't work out in person then... yeah I could - but that leads me to point #2
2) I don't want to ruin perfectly good relationships. I have bonds with people now that I wouldn't want to ruin - and promising someone that you'll be with them, only to break it later, usually snaps the closeness you once had - and often its hard, if not impossible to get it back.
3) I am too lazy to play the dating game. I admit it. I don't want to go on dating sites, spend money in restaurants to do blind dates, go to bars to hook up with strangers, or play sports to meet people. It's just not my scene. Spending money on a date sucks too because it's almost like a black hole with no guarantee of return. You sink money into someone and it's probable that you won't be with that it wont work out (I'm negative). That money could go towards things that make you happier (like going on vacation to see friends).
4) I am very picky. And wishy washy. I could probably compile a huge list of wants and don't wants and in the end, nobody is perfect. Someday I'm going to have to accept that nobody will probably live up to all of my standards, and that I probably set the bar too high - but hey, sometimes people can surprise you. Also see #1 with this one. You never know when that online person may bother you down the road when things get past the flirty stage.
5) I still don't really know what I want sex wise. It probably comes from being a bit sheltered when I was younger, and being a late bloomer, but perhaps it's not all that bad, either. I'm still open minded - and I think I will appreciate someone more for what's between their ears rather than between their legs.
In other news - my work started today. Still too early to say if I'll enjoy it or not, but I'm leaning towards no (go negativity again!) At least it pays good and my coworkers seem nice.. I'm starting ponder over doing freelancing. Maye look over how to do it in the near future. Gonna have to start making some serious decisions in a few months.
I miss Europe. :c
PS: I did not make this for sympathy! I just wanted to explain mostly why I will say no if people want to date online ~_~
jk
very sound reasons! And good luck on jerrrbbb
I also just started my doctorate, so playing the dating game just seems tedious at this point, though I do love going out to the movies, restaurants, etc. with my friends. I am actually very social, but not in the "finding a date" kind of way. As for being picky, for me that blends into the 5th point. I still don't know what I want from a relationship, much less from sex. I was also a late bloomer, raised in a religious household with 14 years of Catholic School. I do know that the kind of person I want is someone I can always have a conversation with, whether its about hobbies, science, politics, or sports. I want someone with a good personality, not necessarily a good 6 pack. I've been trying to slowly expand my social network to expand my possibilities, but as of yet, nothing has proven fruitful (though, that may be just because my focus is back to academics rather than my social life, sadly >: )
Be strong hun, I know you can pull through~
all good points
And good luck with your job.
And another thing is that I hate it when I fall for someone and then realize that I can't force furry onto them. Its not something that I ever plan on changing... ever.
<forever alone>
Nah, just take your time, you'll find one when you are ready!
Why are you here.
I don't get it, really. It's only made even more sad when I'm seeing 13 year olds already eager to start looking for "the one." Sheesh, you'd think furries were sponsored by Vegas or something, those drive-through weddings and whatnot.
I'm just testing the waters myself, having a boyfriend and all. It's a rather fortunate relationship, seeing as I met him online and he turned out to be local, and we were friends for a good while before we decided to date. It probably won't be forever, and I know I sometimes can be too playful to stick to one person, but at least it's good for the experience of having a real life relationship versus a "furry" relationship, and I can take pride in having made a close friend happy for a while.
Although, I'd experiment more.
G'luck at work, hopefully it'll work out well.
Over the years, I've found out that my fursona is fitting me because pooltoys can't be mated. Perhaps just sexed, but that's it. So, I don't have to deal with any real relationship. ^'===='^;;
Only time will tell, and I'm willing to enter another relationship but for now I will keep my friends close and do whatever I can to make them happy.
"I am too lazy to play the dating game."
This. One of the major reasons I have been single for three years is that I give up on people when they start "playing games." It's not worth my time and energy to jump rope with people who can't simply talk about what they want and how they feel.
"Someday I'm going to have to accept that nobody will probably live up to all of my standards, and that I probably set the bar too high - but hey, sometimes people can surprise you."
I have low expectations of random people, high expectations of friends, and even higher expectations of people who fall into the "significant other" category. But the way I see it, I would rather be single with friends than paired with someone who drives me crazy.
I wish you good luck with your job ^^
You miss Europe? I thought you are from Canada ^^'
I miss you being in Europe :( Need to bring you here next year!
Hope your job gets better! <3
2) Ah the age old, 'can we be more then friends' tack. It's a very slippery slope and yes sometimes does backfire. However, two things to keep in mind. If the friendship is good enough, hiccups like social faux pas and misunderstandings won't be that much of a detriment. Also, life is change, you have to learn to roll with it, the relationships you have with those around you will /constantly/ flex in all sorts of unpredictable ways, best to get used to that idea now.
3) Lazy to play the dating game.. Yes, absolutely - The stigma surrounding what this has become is lately bordering on the ridiculous. There's a time for formality, fancy dinners and expensive clothes, large bills at the end of the meal... but that's for long after you've gotten to get to know someone. Whatever happened to just hanging out casually with people and getting to know them in a comfortable environment, doing normal and everyday things?
4) I used to be this way, but this is a realization which does come with time. First, you'll understand that despite it all, /no one/ is perfect and you're going to have to eventually make accommodations for such. Second, when you do find someone that you absolutely fall in love with, none of that will even enter into your head because it's their imperfections which you'll find you can't live with out. :}
5) Sex is great, don't get me wrong. I've had relationships which were entirely based upon it, and relationships which had nothing to do with it. End of the day however I can only recommend two things - be with someone as open-minded as you, and whom inspires you mentally. When you have those two things, the rest falls into place.
It's your decision because your feeling is saying that your way is somewhere else. Not on dating sites/"restaurants". (Well I personally also don't like it and I think most of the people at FA or the internet don't, too. Exept maybe of most on Facebook etc. [I think... =P ])
Of course nobody is perfect and if someone is really believing that then he / her is highly stupid. ^^
So! I wish you all good on your way an only you can follow this one you chose. You know best what YOU WANT and nobody else!
Btw I think you lie to yarself about negativity :) It's called defence, not negativity! About yar job ya mentioned 2 things being good and about a mate you also seem to know what you seek. There is always a person with the 80% of someone's want-nowant list :) And he/she/it eventually will show up if you do a little effort.
Good Luck mr Morca :) Be happy and draw happy stuff :D!
'Oh, my mate? Yeah, he lives on the other side of the world...'
'Have you met?'
'Nope. One day...'
Then next week, they're mated and VERYMUCHINLOVE with some newfur...lol
And yes, Europe rocks. :D
Glad I'm not the only one.
It's possible that the people who disagree just didn't respond, but I'm leaning towards thinking that a lot of the people who would end up on this site are also the people who would share those views. It's just how we are as nerds/furries/outcasts, maybe.
NOT THAT THAT'S A BAD THING :P
Take it easy, you're a good guy.
Something will happen eventually ^^
ONE DAY MY SWEET, ONE DAY.
In serious news, I hope that even if you don't enjoy your work (who does?) that it's at least not too bad. :> Welcome to the working week!
But hey! People have their way of finding each other. =) Take it easy! And honestly, I think finding someone in your area you can meet physically is awesome. It's the same here. I like online stuff but, online is never going to work. Need contact!
But then, it sounds to me like you've already got things pretty well figured out. :)
Reasons 1-5: I am a reasonable person that does not want to rush into a mistake.
Seems sound enough to me. Also, nobody can handle your the awesomeness of your accent, so there's that to deal with too.
I can associate with everything here almost as if it was written from my own mind
and reading all the comments, some very inspiring and very well ones, have brought me to two conclusions.
One: You are lucky to have so many supportive friends O-o I envy that.
two: There is hope for everyone... its just a matter of loosening up sometimes and giving things a chance.. I am only a kid whos limited in many ways, but you are a full grown adult with possibilites of social adventures spanned across the board at your fingers. All there is for you to do is continue these blessed social interactions and let life take you as it well. You have a lot of good reasoning skills but don't let that impede you! I wish you best of luck on all your escapades!
And in case anyone is thinking I'm only saying this because I'm single and only afraid to start a relationship, I'm actually NOT single :P...I'm happy, but I really wish I had enjoyed my old freedoms more while they lasted.
Looking at your list, #1 for sure; #2 I already failed at, because I moved away from San Diego for work; #3 I am not commitment minded enough for a dating site; #4 I tilt toward, but can't say that's totally my hang-up with dating… self-esteem issues. My psychiatrist is just a pill pusher and there's no therapy happening; #5 sex drive is zero, I need companionship and service, so in some ways I'd do better with a live-in butler with benefits… but damned if I could afford that kind of salary.
Just be true to yourself. Who do you see waking up next to in a domestic relationship? Then do your thinking forward and see if it feels exciting and increasingly happy from there. Kids or no. (I'm not making gender assumptions; gay couples adopt too.)
Like the song asks, what's forever for?