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Feeling a bit misunderstood...:/
14 years ago
Hai...Addi here..Just though i'd...Y'know...bitch about something personalIt's been bugging me.Within the last few months I've gotten more recognition for itGuess I'm feeling sorta...Inept? At thingsVideo Games~TypingBathingDrivingRunningWalkingDancingNormal things for the gist of usI have a lot of dreams that were made toughIf not impossible by this..On some days I'm reminded more of itIt stings in the worst possible way.When Addison was very very small4 years old exactly..He would be rushed into the ER, with terrible migrantsTurns out a CAT scan discovered something... Pilocytic astrocytoma...In other wordsA brain tumorHalf gray matter, half waterHe'd be prepped for immediate surgery... The full on 8 hour operation was a success But there was a catch...Addison lost majority control of the left side of his bodyA HemiparesisHe'd bare years of physical therapyAlmost 15 years later and he has yet to gain control in the musclesThey have died..the nerve endings shotHe had to adapt, learning to work with just one arm One handOne legEveryday chores were a struggleHe had never let the limitation hold him backBut he still lacks enoughPlaying the piano, his favorite instrument, hurts his musclesHe's often noticed for holding a game console controller weirdlyHe can't sew, though he needs to for his fursuit commissionsHe can't walk wellThe muscles around his knee cap often let the patella slip free Ending in a painful dislocationHe had trouble doing what all the other kids could doAnd wishes to be able to play many instrumentsAll of which requires dexterous two handsIt lowered his self esteemAnd has caused his early years to be full of constant ridiculeOn days where he's most vulnerableHe has trouble managing to see the good that came out of the accidentHe desperately wishes he would have a functioning body..Makes him feel worthless without one...Addison gets sad sometimes thinking about the possibilitiesand the freedomBecause of his many short comingsAddison has tried to apply for disabilityHe was eligible when he turned 18The Government has rejected his case3 times now...Addison can't find workThough he so desperately wants to help his family And pay his own way for onceHe was suppose to have a court date..To appease the case in front of a juryThere has been no word..Besides the physical restraintsAddison also has sever anxietyTriggered by having bad asthmaIn which he was hospitalized for twice nowin the last 5 yearsTwo 9-1-1 emergency calls..Two near death experiencesTwo dates that have scarred him inside and outForever...Sometimes Addison see's the world as a dark and cruel place..Sometimes..He forgets how lucky he is to even be aliveSo as though it may seemThat he has lost all hopeThe storm will passThe fight will continueAnd one dayOne day he can dream of a normal lifeMy friends, My family, My mateMy lifeOnly exist because you doI have all the strength I could ever needTo walk the battered roadWith the wind at my backI appreciate, and love the ones who stay close to meWith all of my heartAnd am grateful for the freedomTo never be judgedOr abandonedForgottenOr even...Hardly misunderstood~<3Addison<3~
If ya want help presenting your legal facts some time, I'd be happy to take a look at things. Not a lawyer, but I'm very persuasive.