Hello everyone,

I'm not dead yet, but some days i certainly do feel like it x.x I have just been going through an incredibly rough period right now, and this past weekend i finally buckled under the pressure of the stress x.x I am just glad it was a long weekend, and that i had the extra day to just try and get my mind back in gear, because boy did i need it...

For those that dont know, I have been dealing with a particularly difficult Project Manager at my workplace. She is someone who is very set in her ways, and is someone who is used to getting her way. While i usually have no problem with trying to accommodate someone's management style, when they come off as rude and aggressive, it makes me less inclined to want to follow their way. She is not a nice person, and when she acts aggressive towards me, it makes me aggressive and frustrated... It's hard to explain, but she is mentally abusive, and having grown up almost my entire life dealing with mental abuse from bullies, i dont take too kindly to it...

I wish i could say that this was my only problem, but there are some other things... I guess it could be my own fault, but i've felt disconnected from some of my friends lately... It could be that my stress has passed onto them and they dont want to talk to me as a result... I do apologize to anyone who i may have affected, i dont mean to be passing on my stress like that x.x To those of you who have been there for me though, even if it's just to talk for a bit, thank you ;.; I know I've been a bit of a downer lately, and i really dont mean to be >.< But it really means a lot to have you guys there...

On top of all this, I've been coming across some financial issues recently, and again, this is my own fault from stress... You see, when i get really really depressed, i can lose all control and willpower, and sometimes i can go a little crazy when it comes to shopping for something for me... Im not in trouble, no no, not by any means. I can certainly pay off the debts i have with the job i have. However, because of this, I cant really keep to a verbal agreement i had with my family in regards to paying off my student loans faster x.x So while i have the means to manage the major debts i have, i am under a lot of stress because i feel bad for not being able to meet the agreement i made with my family regarding my student loans x.x I should be back on my feet soon, but its still stressful... I need to find some way to control myself, but i dont know how... My mom is the same way almost, except when she gets depressed, she goes gambling... I dont gamble, never really liked it the few times ive done it, but i do have that spending problem x.X

So, i do apologize to everyone for everything... As you can probably guess, my story writing has ceased to be for the time being... I'm trying to pick back up, but until i get all this stress under control, i dont know when i will be able to get back into the full swing of things...