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Suicide is NEVER painless...
14 years ago
"MORELS taste good in omelettes..."
A fellow named 
bartonstroud wrote the following missive (after the fancy tildes), but I'm reposting it here for my own reasons.
I've known folks who have committed suicide. I've been on the verge of it myself. And, finally, there are two of my dear friends who are struggling with it right now, and I want them to read this. You know who you are, and I'll link you both to this journal in a minute.
First, my own thoughts on the matter:
Seriously, as a person who's been through this, as a person who sees far too many people suffer alone, as someone who's lost friends to suicide, if you do nothing else and stop listening here, at least, read this: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ Please.
What I went through:
Some of you already know some of this story, but I lived through a fuckton of abuse growing up. From parents, peers, even strangers on the street. After I left home, the abuse didn't actually stop- I was now doing it to myself by telling myself I was a worthless human being, that I was stupid, fat, ugly and so on. I didn't know I was doing this. Depression didn't take long to start fucking with me- the first signs actually hit me between the ages of six and ten years old, though I didn't know what it really was. I didn't know why I was unhappy- I just thought it was caused by the disappointment at having no friends and being bullied.
Long story short, I found myself standing on a bridge in the rain, looking at the fast-flowing river (it had been a severe flood year- the "Flood of the Century") and thinking no one would miss me if I climbed over the railing and went for a little night swim. That was the first time I ever actually thought of killing myself. I was lucky- I still had it in me to ask for help. The problem with the first suicidal thoughts is that it becomes easier to go there. I have had other "moments" since that night in 1997 where the ugly thoughts made a showing. I don't talk about them, much- they're rather embarrassing, actually.
Pain can be survived, no matter what it is. I was able to get help only because of my stubborn refusal to give up. Suicide was entirely counter to that, and so they fought it out in my head: suicide lost.
Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky. They're deep into their pain, they've come to believe that it's all there is, that it'll never end...
About pain:
A three-year-old slashes open their palm on a piece of glass in the playground: to them, it's the end of the world. They're terrified at all the blood and how much it fucking hurts. They'll remember that pain probably all their life. A woman is brutally raped: to them, it's the end of the world. They're terrified of the man hurting her and how much it fucking hurts. She'll probably remember it the rest of her life. Pain is pain. None are more or less than another. Some pains we can shrug off, sure- I can shrug off a second-degree burn to my hand so I didn't drop the hot soup that caused it- but when it comes to traumatic things- someone watching a friend being killed in front of them, being attacked, me being raped- pain is pain.
There is no "hierarchy of pain" where one sort of trauma is greater than another. Pain is pain, and how we deal with it is as individual as the events that spawned it. Your pain isn't less than mine. It's just different, because it happened to you, and not to me. That is the ONLY real difference. To make comparisons of pain is to really say one person is weaker than the other because such-and-such pain was "minor" to you. Selfish and sneering attitudes like that have no place in discussions of suicide. It is not a matter of finding out if the pain is "worthy" enough to want to escape from it! What we should really be doing is finding out how we can help this person survive their pain so they don't have to feel they've been trapped into a corner where they cannot escape.
If you are in that especially dark territory of suicidal thoughts, I suggest this: use anything you can to get through another day- TO GIVE YOURSELF THE ROOM AND THE WINDOW FOR AN OPPORTUNITY FOR SOMETHING BETTER TO HAPPEN. Tomorrow might be different. Suicide is not a relief of pain- you can't feel relief if you're dead! When you leave room for options, you have more tools to work with. Make a point of finding more options. Allowing yourself to reach out, or to take the hand that was reached out to you also gives you more options. That's all my suggestions are, by the way- potential options, but you have to make them work.
I'll just say this and get on with pasting in the journal: Killing yourself removes all options, and that means you lose- EVERYTHING. You will be depriving yourself of all future chances, you will be throwing away all of those future opportunities, friends, loves and joys. Why? Because you hurt NOW, and that pain has tricked you into thinking that the hurt is all there is and that it will never end. It is a LIE. Remember that you hate being lied to!
It gets better, it really does. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, on to Mr. Stroud's eloquent letter (the portion that is the meme being passed around is marked thus: {{{}}}):
"(there is more preamble than what I'm posting here, but as it's rather private, he might not want anyone else posting that bit. If you want to read the full thing, go here---> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2693471/ )
And I have one thing to add to the little meme going around: don't let anyone tell you that suicide is selfish. Fuck those people. It's a lousy attempt to shame you out of your thoughts, to guilt you into surviving. That's bullshit.
Suicide is not selfish. Suicide is what happens when your mind cannot cope with the pain and frustration it deals with and lacks any other way out. It is the last and final symptom of mental disorders. It's a symptom. Remember that.
You are not a bad person for having suicidal thoughts. You are not a selfish person for having suicidal thoughts. Don't let people guilt you into thinking otherwise. If you are dealing with suicidal fantasies, it's because your mind is fighting itself.
Suicide is not something chosen lightly. Don't begrudge those who end their own life. The world isn't perfect, we deal with mental illness in our own ways, and when someone makes the tragic choice to end their life, we are only hurting ourselves by shaming them.
That's all I wanted to say. I encourage you guys to pass along this meme. It's one of the few I've seen on FA that's actually worth a damn.
{{{To the Fandom:
September 4th – 10th is National Suicide Prevention Week, and, what shall become a Suicide Prevention/awareness week across Furaffinity, but, we need your help! As many of you know, we have lost several members even in our own fandom, those for whatever reasons, chose to take their own lives.
The goal of this meme is to spread the word, yes it happens, and yes, we can help. This isn’t a self-righteous or self-gaining meme; rather, it is somewhat of a Public Service Announcement.
Please, help this spread like wildfire, let everyone know, there ARE those in the fandom they can confide in, who are willing to talk to them, and are willing to do our best to help. If we can save even just one, it will all be worth it.
Life has its ups and downs, it isn’t all easy, but, we have to make the most of every moment we have. There is no replacing a life thrown away.
To those who just need someone to listen, those on that edge, please, if you ever need to talk to me, if I’m on, I will do as much as I can to help. I won’t judge or yell, I only want to help. There are others who are willing to help as well.
Just know this if I am not online….
You are...
Worthy to be loved and to love others
Worthy to be cared for and to help care for others
Worthy to be nurtured and to nurture others
Worthy to be touched and supported
Worthy to be listed to and listen to others
Worthy to be recognized
Worthy to be encouraged and to encourage others
Worthy to be reinforced as “good”
No one is perfect, but, that doesn’t mean life isn’t worth living…please…just hang on…it gets better!"
If you are contemplating suicide OR if you know someone that you're afraid might be suicidal, please read this first:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
If you're wanting help but are afraid to ask for it from friends, here are some anonymous help lines and resources you can turn to:
http://www.suicidology.org/web/guest/home
http://www.yellowribbon.org/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-TALK (8522)
Remember, suicide is never the answer, even if you no longer value your own life, there are plenty of others that do; You are never truly alone unless you choose to be. ♥
Please if you support this repost. Let people know you care.
P.S. To all artist out there..I humbly ask you......please, if you have the time and care for this week, to make ONE picture, one story, one sketch, one painting, one song......that shouts out to all who see it "life is worth living" and "We will stand strong"}}}
{EDIT}: something I found on one of the metanoia pages that I think is worth repeating here. If you, or anyone you know, shows these traits, they may be in trouble- they certainly are in great hurt. Talk to someone, or get them help, in any way you can.
Link to a page with warning-signs and what you can do to help someone in this situation: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo.htm
I call it the "Bullet List" (things in bolded text are my emphasis because they resonate particularly strong with me and I suspect with another certain person):
* Problems with memory. Persistent, intrusive, and vivid memories concerning the traumatic situation. Events of daily life may trigger distressing memories related to the trauma. Memory lapses for parts of the traumatic situation. Many suicidal people are troubled by strong images, such as the feeling that they have bombs inside their bodies or a knife over their heads, and in recovery continue to be bothered by the memory of having had these images.
* Avoidance of things associated with the traumatic experience.
* Denial on the seriousness of the experience.
* Persistent anxiety.
* Fear that the traumatic situation will recur. The trauma is often an event that shatters the survivors sense of invulnerability to harm.
* Disturbed by the intrusiveness of violent impulses and thoughts.
* Engagement in risk-taking behavior to produce adrenaline.
* A feeling of being powerless over the traumatic event. Anger and frustration over being powerless.
* A feeling of being helpless about ones current condition.
* Being dramatically and permanently changed by the experience.
* A sense of unfairness. Why did this happen to me?
* Holding oneself responsible for what happened. Feeling guilty.
* The use of self-blame to provide an illusion of control. Sexual assault survivors often blame themselves: If I hadn't been at that location, worn those clothes, behaved in that way, then it wouldn't have happened. This pattern is also found in the survivors of a completed suicide. If I had only done x, the suicide would not have happened, can be used to try to cope with the fear that suicide will happen again in the family--i.e., it is preventable if I just manage things differently. The suicidal are often full of self-blame. As in the other cases it is partly due to an internalization of social attitudes that blame the victim or family, and also due to the effort to gain mastery over the situation. To imagine we could have done more is more tolerable than total helplessness.
* An inability to experience the joys of life.
* Feelings of being alienated from the other people and society in general. I am different. I am shameful. If they knew what I was like, they would reject me. I don't belong in this world. I'm a freak, an outcast.
* When people with PTSD try to return to normal life, they are plagued by readjustment problems in the basic elements of life. They have difficulties in relationships, in employment, and in having families.
* A lack of caring attachments. A sense of a lack of purpose and meaning.
* Some chronically traumatized people lose the sense that they have a self at all.
* Veterans report the feeling that they never really made it back from the war. Formerly suicidal people feel they never really made it back to normal life.
* One Viet Nam veteran with PTSD said, I don't have any friends and I am pretty particular about who I want as a friend.
* PTSD was aggravated for Viet Nam veterans because they returned to a country that had negative attitudes toward them. For sexual assault survivors, stigmatization is the second injury.
* When Viet Nam veterans returned home people were angry at them. They had shamed the country, they had done something wrong, they were potentially harmful to others, it was dangerous to be with them. Sexual assault survivors may receive angry responses--on the grounds that they have done something that shames the family. Suicide attempters often experience great anger from family and care providers.
* A deep distrust of co-workers, employers, authorities.
* Left with unexpressed rage against those who were indifferent to their situation and who failed to help them.
* In personal relationships there are problems of dependency and trust. A fear of being abandoned, betrayed, let down. A belief that people will be hurtful if given a chance. Feelings of self-hatred and humiliation for being needy, weak, and vulnerable. Alternating between isolation and anxious clinging.
* Trauma often causes the victim to view the world as malevolent, rather than benign.
* No sense of having a future, or, the belief that ones future will be very limited.
* Feel that they belong more to the dead than to the living.
* The feeling of having a negative Midas touch--everything I get involved with goes bad.
* Loss of self-confidence, and loss of feelings of mastery and competence.
* A resistance to efforts to change a maladaptive world view that results from the trauma.
* A mistrust of counselors ability to listen.
* People who suffered traumatic experiences as children, teenagers, or young adults may simultaneously become prematurely aged and developmentally arrested. A part of them feels old. Another part feels stuck at the age they had when the trauma occurred.
* PTSD can be worse if the sufferer experiences the trauma as an individual rather than as a member of a group of people who are suffering the same situation. Unlike earlier wars in which units went overseas together and returned together, in Viet Nam each soldier had an individual DEROS (Date of Expected Return from Overseas). This reduced unit cohesiveness; each soldier experienced the war from an individual point of view. Suicidal people experience their near-death situation with extreme isolation. They see their conditions as being completely unique - terminal uniqueness. They have no sense of identification with others.
* The severity of PTSD symptoms tends to increase with the severity and duration of the trauma.
* The use of alcohol or drugs to cope with the PTSD symptoms.
* Attempts to do things to gain a feeling of mastery over the traumatic situation, e.g., become a volunteer on a hotline.
bartonstroud wrote the following missive (after the fancy tildes), but I'm reposting it here for my own reasons.I've known folks who have committed suicide. I've been on the verge of it myself. And, finally, there are two of my dear friends who are struggling with it right now, and I want them to read this. You know who you are, and I'll link you both to this journal in a minute.
First, my own thoughts on the matter:
Seriously, as a person who's been through this, as a person who sees far too many people suffer alone, as someone who's lost friends to suicide, if you do nothing else and stop listening here, at least, read this: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/ Please.
What I went through:
Some of you already know some of this story, but I lived through a fuckton of abuse growing up. From parents, peers, even strangers on the street. After I left home, the abuse didn't actually stop- I was now doing it to myself by telling myself I was a worthless human being, that I was stupid, fat, ugly and so on. I didn't know I was doing this. Depression didn't take long to start fucking with me- the first signs actually hit me between the ages of six and ten years old, though I didn't know what it really was. I didn't know why I was unhappy- I just thought it was caused by the disappointment at having no friends and being bullied.
Long story short, I found myself standing on a bridge in the rain, looking at the fast-flowing river (it had been a severe flood year- the "Flood of the Century") and thinking no one would miss me if I climbed over the railing and went for a little night swim. That was the first time I ever actually thought of killing myself. I was lucky- I still had it in me to ask for help. The problem with the first suicidal thoughts is that it becomes easier to go there. I have had other "moments" since that night in 1997 where the ugly thoughts made a showing. I don't talk about them, much- they're rather embarrassing, actually.
Pain can be survived, no matter what it is. I was able to get help only because of my stubborn refusal to give up. Suicide was entirely counter to that, and so they fought it out in my head: suicide lost.
Unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky. They're deep into their pain, they've come to believe that it's all there is, that it'll never end...
About pain:
A three-year-old slashes open their palm on a piece of glass in the playground: to them, it's the end of the world. They're terrified at all the blood and how much it fucking hurts. They'll remember that pain probably all their life. A woman is brutally raped: to them, it's the end of the world. They're terrified of the man hurting her and how much it fucking hurts. She'll probably remember it the rest of her life. Pain is pain. None are more or less than another. Some pains we can shrug off, sure- I can shrug off a second-degree burn to my hand so I didn't drop the hot soup that caused it- but when it comes to traumatic things- someone watching a friend being killed in front of them, being attacked, me being raped- pain is pain.
There is no "hierarchy of pain" where one sort of trauma is greater than another. Pain is pain, and how we deal with it is as individual as the events that spawned it. Your pain isn't less than mine. It's just different, because it happened to you, and not to me. That is the ONLY real difference. To make comparisons of pain is to really say one person is weaker than the other because such-and-such pain was "minor" to you. Selfish and sneering attitudes like that have no place in discussions of suicide. It is not a matter of finding out if the pain is "worthy" enough to want to escape from it! What we should really be doing is finding out how we can help this person survive their pain so they don't have to feel they've been trapped into a corner where they cannot escape.
If you are in that especially dark territory of suicidal thoughts, I suggest this: use anything you can to get through another day- TO GIVE YOURSELF THE ROOM AND THE WINDOW FOR AN OPPORTUNITY FOR SOMETHING BETTER TO HAPPEN. Tomorrow might be different. Suicide is not a relief of pain- you can't feel relief if you're dead! When you leave room for options, you have more tools to work with. Make a point of finding more options. Allowing yourself to reach out, or to take the hand that was reached out to you also gives you more options. That's all my suggestions are, by the way- potential options, but you have to make them work.
I'll just say this and get on with pasting in the journal: Killing yourself removes all options, and that means you lose- EVERYTHING. You will be depriving yourself of all future chances, you will be throwing away all of those future opportunities, friends, loves and joys. Why? Because you hurt NOW, and that pain has tricked you into thinking that the hurt is all there is and that it will never end. It is a LIE. Remember that you hate being lied to!
It gets better, it really does. "Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, on to Mr. Stroud's eloquent letter (the portion that is the meme being passed around is marked thus: {{{}}}):
"(there is more preamble than what I'm posting here, but as it's rather private, he might not want anyone else posting that bit. If you want to read the full thing, go here---> http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/2693471/ )
And I have one thing to add to the little meme going around: don't let anyone tell you that suicide is selfish. Fuck those people. It's a lousy attempt to shame you out of your thoughts, to guilt you into surviving. That's bullshit.
Suicide is not selfish. Suicide is what happens when your mind cannot cope with the pain and frustration it deals with and lacks any other way out. It is the last and final symptom of mental disorders. It's a symptom. Remember that.
You are not a bad person for having suicidal thoughts. You are not a selfish person for having suicidal thoughts. Don't let people guilt you into thinking otherwise. If you are dealing with suicidal fantasies, it's because your mind is fighting itself.
Suicide is not something chosen lightly. Don't begrudge those who end their own life. The world isn't perfect, we deal with mental illness in our own ways, and when someone makes the tragic choice to end their life, we are only hurting ourselves by shaming them.
That's all I wanted to say. I encourage you guys to pass along this meme. It's one of the few I've seen on FA that's actually worth a damn.
{{{To the Fandom:
September 4th – 10th is National Suicide Prevention Week, and, what shall become a Suicide Prevention/awareness week across Furaffinity, but, we need your help! As many of you know, we have lost several members even in our own fandom, those for whatever reasons, chose to take their own lives.
The goal of this meme is to spread the word, yes it happens, and yes, we can help. This isn’t a self-righteous or self-gaining meme; rather, it is somewhat of a Public Service Announcement.
Please, help this spread like wildfire, let everyone know, there ARE those in the fandom they can confide in, who are willing to talk to them, and are willing to do our best to help. If we can save even just one, it will all be worth it.
Life has its ups and downs, it isn’t all easy, but, we have to make the most of every moment we have. There is no replacing a life thrown away.
To those who just need someone to listen, those on that edge, please, if you ever need to talk to me, if I’m on, I will do as much as I can to help. I won’t judge or yell, I only want to help. There are others who are willing to help as well.
Just know this if I am not online….
You are...
Worthy to be loved and to love others
Worthy to be cared for and to help care for others
Worthy to be nurtured and to nurture others
Worthy to be touched and supported
Worthy to be listed to and listen to others
Worthy to be recognized
Worthy to be encouraged and to encourage others
Worthy to be reinforced as “good”
No one is perfect, but, that doesn’t mean life isn’t worth living…please…just hang on…it gets better!"
If you are contemplating suicide OR if you know someone that you're afraid might be suicidal, please read this first:
http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/
If you're wanting help but are afraid to ask for it from friends, here are some anonymous help lines and resources you can turn to:
http://www.suicidology.org/web/guest/home
http://www.yellowribbon.org/
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline:
1-800-273-TALK (8522)
Remember, suicide is never the answer, even if you no longer value your own life, there are plenty of others that do; You are never truly alone unless you choose to be. ♥
Please if you support this repost. Let people know you care.
P.S. To all artist out there..I humbly ask you......please, if you have the time and care for this week, to make ONE picture, one story, one sketch, one painting, one song......that shouts out to all who see it "life is worth living" and "We will stand strong"}}}
{EDIT}: something I found on one of the metanoia pages that I think is worth repeating here. If you, or anyone you know, shows these traits, they may be in trouble- they certainly are in great hurt. Talk to someone, or get them help, in any way you can.
Link to a page with warning-signs and what you can do to help someone in this situation: http://www.metanoia.org/suicide/whattodo.htm
I call it the "Bullet List" (things in bolded text are my emphasis because they resonate particularly strong with me and I suspect with another certain person):
* Problems with memory. Persistent, intrusive, and vivid memories concerning the traumatic situation. Events of daily life may trigger distressing memories related to the trauma. Memory lapses for parts of the traumatic situation. Many suicidal people are troubled by strong images, such as the feeling that they have bombs inside their bodies or a knife over their heads, and in recovery continue to be bothered by the memory of having had these images.
* Avoidance of things associated with the traumatic experience.
* Denial on the seriousness of the experience.
* Persistent anxiety.
* Fear that the traumatic situation will recur. The trauma is often an event that shatters the survivors sense of invulnerability to harm.
* Disturbed by the intrusiveness of violent impulses and thoughts.
* Engagement in risk-taking behavior to produce adrenaline.
* A feeling of being powerless over the traumatic event. Anger and frustration over being powerless.
* A feeling of being helpless about ones current condition.
* Being dramatically and permanently changed by the experience.
* A sense of unfairness. Why did this happen to me?
* Holding oneself responsible for what happened. Feeling guilty.
* The use of self-blame to provide an illusion of control. Sexual assault survivors often blame themselves: If I hadn't been at that location, worn those clothes, behaved in that way, then it wouldn't have happened. This pattern is also found in the survivors of a completed suicide. If I had only done x, the suicide would not have happened, can be used to try to cope with the fear that suicide will happen again in the family--i.e., it is preventable if I just manage things differently. The suicidal are often full of self-blame. As in the other cases it is partly due to an internalization of social attitudes that blame the victim or family, and also due to the effort to gain mastery over the situation. To imagine we could have done more is more tolerable than total helplessness.
* An inability to experience the joys of life.
* Feelings of being alienated from the other people and society in general. I am different. I am shameful. If they knew what I was like, they would reject me. I don't belong in this world. I'm a freak, an outcast.
* When people with PTSD try to return to normal life, they are plagued by readjustment problems in the basic elements of life. They have difficulties in relationships, in employment, and in having families.
* A lack of caring attachments. A sense of a lack of purpose and meaning.
* Some chronically traumatized people lose the sense that they have a self at all.
* Veterans report the feeling that they never really made it back from the war. Formerly suicidal people feel they never really made it back to normal life.
* One Viet Nam veteran with PTSD said, I don't have any friends and I am pretty particular about who I want as a friend.
* PTSD was aggravated for Viet Nam veterans because they returned to a country that had negative attitudes toward them. For sexual assault survivors, stigmatization is the second injury.
* When Viet Nam veterans returned home people were angry at them. They had shamed the country, they had done something wrong, they were potentially harmful to others, it was dangerous to be with them. Sexual assault survivors may receive angry responses--on the grounds that they have done something that shames the family. Suicide attempters often experience great anger from family and care providers.
* A deep distrust of co-workers, employers, authorities.
* Left with unexpressed rage against those who were indifferent to their situation and who failed to help them.
* In personal relationships there are problems of dependency and trust. A fear of being abandoned, betrayed, let down. A belief that people will be hurtful if given a chance. Feelings of self-hatred and humiliation for being needy, weak, and vulnerable. Alternating between isolation and anxious clinging.
* Trauma often causes the victim to view the world as malevolent, rather than benign.
* No sense of having a future, or, the belief that ones future will be very limited.
* Feel that they belong more to the dead than to the living.
* The feeling of having a negative Midas touch--everything I get involved with goes bad.
* Loss of self-confidence, and loss of feelings of mastery and competence.
* A resistance to efforts to change a maladaptive world view that results from the trauma.
* A mistrust of counselors ability to listen.
* People who suffered traumatic experiences as children, teenagers, or young adults may simultaneously become prematurely aged and developmentally arrested. A part of them feels old. Another part feels stuck at the age they had when the trauma occurred.
* PTSD can be worse if the sufferer experiences the trauma as an individual rather than as a member of a group of people who are suffering the same situation. Unlike earlier wars in which units went overseas together and returned together, in Viet Nam each soldier had an individual DEROS (Date of Expected Return from Overseas). This reduced unit cohesiveness; each soldier experienced the war from an individual point of view. Suicidal people experience their near-death situation with extreme isolation. They see their conditions as being completely unique - terminal uniqueness. They have no sense of identification with others.
* The severity of PTSD symptoms tends to increase with the severity and duration of the trauma.
* The use of alcohol or drugs to cope with the PTSD symptoms.
* Attempts to do things to gain a feeling of mastery over the traumatic situation, e.g., become a volunteer on a hotline.
on a side note.. i miss
Spread the word, or the meme, whichever you'd like to do. It pains me to know that there has been a rash of suicides in the last month alone (three, at last count, to my knowledge) and they're hitting a lot of people hard. It also pains me to know how many of my friends here, and elsewhere, have been struggling with this, lately, and if this journal, or any of those links, can help them, it was worth it.
now i'll say, i'm a stubborn person, it's going to take one hell of a lot to make me end my life.. i doubt i'm going anywhere anytime soon, but the thoughts are there when things hit their peak of 'bad'
And, to drive that little thorn even deeper, I've been guilty of doing that just yesterday with someone who is definitely hurting. *head-desks*
*sigh*
We're none of those things. We made it. We are what we are. We're beautiful and wonderful. And you have someone who loves you so much. Maybe one day I will, too. Until then, I'll just be single - but wonderful.
*snuggles*
Oh noes... My head wants to change that to "faaabulous, dahling!"
*flees*
But we AAAAARRE fabulous! And I'm even a mad man with a box, too! :-D
FAAAAABULOUSSSS! I'm mad, he's mad, we're all mad, here!
The one about unexpressed rage towards those who were indifferent.. that belongs in italics too.
More a moment for
they get even worse for thinking they will be breaking a promise made, twists them up inside makes the hate an anger hurt an feed in on themselves intensifying things going wrong
No one wants to be stuck on that particular hook, when they already doubt their ability to get through another day. Adding on more pressure is just cruel.