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Well FUCK, tell me a story :C
14 years ago
General
I haven't been posting comics IM SORRY :C something has happened to my brain and I have lost all interest in drawing.. And I still have to make a living for myself.. GUHHHHHH!
my fucking Life... XnX
Anyways.. Tell me a story about when you were busted doing something naughty.
I don't have anything REALLY interesting to add, but I was walked in on while getting head in a pool once by my best friend... Would have been embarrassing, but he was pissed we didn't keep going.
my fucking Life... XnX
Anyways.. Tell me a story about when you were busted doing something naughty.
I don't have anything REALLY interesting to add, but I was walked in on while getting head in a pool once by my best friend... Would have been embarrassing, but he was pissed we didn't keep going.
Lets start a club, the ittybitttytittycommittie... only flatchested emo artists allowed
THEN WHO WAS PHONE?
Doubly-awesome if it was strawberry-banana.
you should totally make an American-Pie-Like movie about that.
just want to watch it for fun.
Eventually we walked out with pillows to cover our junk, and we chased them around the house naked. :I
My mother walked into my room once while i was standing up nude in front of my bed with an erection. (she never knocked ever. still doesn't) she takes one look at me then glances down then stare but up at my and says my full name middle, and both last names. shakes her head slowly and closes my door.(not the awkward part yet) after she closes the door i get a lecture about masturbating in front of a camera (which i actually wasn't doing at the time)then finishes the "bonding talk" as she called it with. "and i don't know where in the hell you got that dick from, your father's is no where close to that size. maybe hes right and you are the milkman's son."
well played mother
Pay attention to the milkman and see if he tries to be sweet and loving like a father!
"yea mom it better not be coming from your genes"
Ooo la la~
M/M action!
I know, sadly that's the worst that has happened to me. X3
XD
did that character just get out of the pool? You should draw a pool behind her... oh... OHHHH.. eww..
Road head= Best experience ever .w.
WRONG. He sat down on the bed, concerned, and asked me if I was sick. Then he asked me if I was depressed. Then he asked me if I was overtired because of stress from school. Because, like, I seemed kinda moody. Then he patted my back and reassured me that high school is a difficult time blah blah blah. All in all we had a 10-minute conversation before he finally left, totally oblivious.
Could. Have. Died.
Im really preying it was too dark to see..
UNBEKNOWNST TO THE NAIVE YOUTH, HE HADST BEEN TRAVELING AT SPEEDS NO LESS THAN 80 MILES PER HOUR! A FACT THAT HAD NOT GONE UN-NOTICED BY A HIDDEN LAW OFFICER! FORCED TO REMOVE HIMSELF FROM THE WAY OF HIGH, THE COMPUTER REPAIRMAN WAS FORCED TO APPEAR IN COURT WHERE HE PAID A SIZABLE PENALTY OF TWO HUNDRED AND TWELVE AMERICAN DOLLARS!
LO, FOR HE VOWED NEVER TO GO TO SPEEDS LIKE THAT EVER AGAIN LEST HE BE CHASTISED AND FORCED TO PAY ANOTHER PENALTY!
THE END!
Another time I had a porn image on the clipboard and Mom accidentally pasted it (she tried duplicating a scan picture but it wouldn't do it). The software program showed a small, grainy-enough picture that it wasn't identifiable (thank GOD she didn't double-click it). So I quickly deleted that and copied/pasted the scan picture properly. ...and then another time I was opening porn pics in an image editor program, but hadn't used it in some time and Mom was wondering why the image editor was there. She opens it and decides to Open Most Recent Image. To my memory the last pic was a nude female gator. ...and to my relief, it was an innocent photo of a cow. ...innocent to her, considering I had a cow fetish back then, but it was enough to throw her off the trail.
FUCKING.
CREEPY.
...it sounded so wrong.
Boring story huh/ hur hur. derp.
AGRIUS' EMBARRASSING STORY:
I've never liked pubes. Pubic hair is gross. If you have pubic hair right now, you're making us weaker as a species and should be put down. There, I said it.
So anyway... one day, when I was around 14 or so, I was in the bathroom attacking my crotch with a Gillette. I get myself almost completely smooth when, all of a sudden, there comes a knock on the bathroom door. It's my mom, bearing towels. Thinking that I was still in the shower (and ever the one for respecting personal boundaries) she cracks the door open with the intention of slipping the towels in onto the sink and departing.
Yes, I was right by the sink at the time.
Yes, she happened to glance in.
Yes, she saw.
In true passive-aggressive form, we avoided contact with eachother for the next week or so and never spoke of it. BUT, my dad later mentioned something in passing that indicated A) my mother had told him about me shaving my pubes, and B) that she had very likely told everyone that I shaved my pubes.
Don't know if that constitutes a 'naughty' story per se. Just figured a story about a mom walking in on her son giving himself a Brazilian would help elevate your spirits.
Stay righteous,
~Aggy
Ten minutes later my mother comes in my room and it goes like this "Sam, do you want any din- OH WELL! I was gonna ask if you wanted some dinner but I can see your boyfriend's probably got his mouth pretty full right now." After closing the door, leaving me incredibly red in the face, as she walks down the stairs she shouts, "Well if you're interested, I'VE MADE SAUSAGES!"
I was mortified.
Moral to be learned? Scottish mothers have incredible wit and no limit to the capacity to which they'll embarrass their sons.
That's good stuff
OMFG IT TOTALLY ROCKS TO BE YOU!
*WARNING* Internets have no retail, imaginative, creative, practical, or otherwise, value. Internets may only be used to view more internets. Thank you.
At least she was accepting enough to make light of the situation. Others' mothers would be judgemental instead.
This blonde skater kid kept calling me faggot, I decked him with a chair. Half a year later, I find him sucking off another 8th grader in the bathroom, stall quite open.
Cue blushing furiously. He's now happily mated and a nice guy!
then 2 years later i find shes a full blown lesbian..
Guess that's when you know you dodged a bullet
But it was a trap.
End.
[color=red] THAT SPY IS A SPY! [\color]
I once walked in on my dad while he was browsing porn on my computer
My deepest condolences to your desk and web browser.
I tried to think of something witty to say, but my brain fails me right now. ¿HOW U LOOK DADDY IN THE FACE?
but he says his whole family already know about his dad's dirty secret.
and he get lots of free lube.
My condolences to the son, that must've been...scarring.
The door was APPARENTLY not locked, as I heard it open from behind us and stay open for a good loooooong look before closing again. I let the screwing continue and only told my boyfriend after we were done cleaning up. We braved up to leave the room expecting a lecture or SOMETHING, but everyone was perfectly fine.
A few days later it was revealed that his birthmom (he was raised by grandparents) peeked in to say goodbye before she left the event early, and upon seeing her son ramming his girlfriend she decided to just tell everyone we were cute and asleep and should be left alone.
Pretty much pretended I was over to play video games and it was fairly awkward meeting his parents for the first time.
And my boyfriend was walked in on TWICE; once by his dad, and then again by his mom. And both his parents then started knocking on his door...before the decided it was easier to be mentally retarded assholes...
Oh, my boyfriend's mom also once told my boyfriend's doctor all about how my boyfriend had unprotected gay sex...
>mum knows my bf is over
>mum knocks on the door and then just walks in
>my boyfriend is lying there with cum all over his face
>awkward silence for about 5 seconds
>mum tells us whats for dinner
>tells us to get better at covering ourselves up before people walk in, laughs
>leaves to cook dinner
mfw we all had a laugh about it at dinner
A few days ago, we were at it again and his roommate started to open the door, so we pulled the blanket up and hid under it. I dunno if he ever noticed anything
So my current mate was giving me head, were laying on his bed and hes got my pants off and mostly down. When you open the door to his room one of the first things you get a good view of IS the bed...Anyway his mom is the type that knocks very quickly 2 times and then suddenly opens the door... well you get the story, she got a good glimpse of her son, my mate, with a big mouth full of cock!
We figured it was only time since thats the way shes always knocked. Shes come very close to catching us full-on going at it quite a few times but usually were quick enough with the covers... XD
They all started giggling and it went away REAL QUICK!
Neither activity was stopped.
I got caught in my suburban blazing and the place was filled with smoke, we were listening to static x and then my bf took my clothes off and i took off his, and while he was ramming me, my mom walks outside and knocks on the window and opens the door.
I told her "Close the door you're lettin out all tha smoke!!" Then she asked what i was doing with my bf, and i told her "Its this new game called SEX! you should try it sometime" then i slammed the door closed
I don't close my door anymore. You can't see my room through the door frame, so I just listen for anyone coming up the stairs. I assume I can cover myself in time.
lol
.... I am just happy his mom didn't see me.
There's also another story.... But it doesn't involve photos. :<
So Jolie laughs and goes "He's just jealous you're twice his size!" In the middle of the movie theatre line. What makes it better is all the girls around us stare at me, sizing me up. I just shrug it off until the girl at the register winks at me. Awkwaaaaaard. So we get food and go into the movie. My gf sits on my lap and Jolie and Hunter sit in front of me, not suspecting a thing. So I chuckle and take one of the movie hot dogs and place it on Hunter's head. He cries and runs out of the theater. Later on, I meet him in the restroom (not intentionally) while he's walking out of the stall and he gets all mad and goes "GODDAMMIT I DON'T WANNA SEE YOUR DICK!!!!"
..... When I walked out everyone looked at me like I was some kind of rapist. D:
.... Can rich white people be well-endowed?
..... "gay rednecks take our dates."
Gay-bashers. :< They always ruin the fun evenings.
Because, you know, some people think that gays are evil or something or other, but, you know, I always think, who the hell decided straight people were so great?
I work third shift at a gas station in rural Kentucky. Needless to say I see some odd shit from time to time.
For the longest time one of my regulars worked at the local juvenile hall, he saw some pretty stupid kids and often had some pretty insane stories to tell me... like one about a kid who thought he was the reincarnation of Tupac and another who was apparently a member of a satanic cult and had killed a baby to eat its heart.
Well, this one always stood out in my memory as it was probably the most hilarious.
To start, this kid had been let out on bond from the prison but had cut off his homing collar and buggered off.
When they finally caught up with him they caught the kid with a lit crack pipe and high as a kite.
BUT NOT ONLY THAT!
He was also smoking the pipe in a stolen vehicle...
BUT NOT ONLY THAT!
The stolen vehicle was the Sheriff's cruiser...
BUT NOT ONLY THAT!
Police cruisers all have dashboard cameras these days. The camera in this one was not only turned on... but pointed at the driver's seat where he was smoking up the entire time he was in the car.
So we have a bail jumping kid who is caught using a controlled substance, while committing grand theft auto, in a government vehicle... on tape.
Not even Phoenix Wright could've saved that kid's ass. |3 I can just see his lawyer simply throwing his hands up and saying "Your honor... fuck it, I've got nothing."
Alas, I thought I had the apartment to myself, with the roommate not getting home for several hours. So begins the preparations for an afternoon of passionate toy-use! Due to being finicky about hygiene, and being able to mask moans/screams, I prefer to use our shower for doing the nasty. As I have multiple toys, and enjoy using most of them, especially over a long session, I like to let them soak in scalding hot water in the sink, to warm them up to body temperature. Half an hour into my activities I hear the lock on the bathroom door pop open over my groans. At this point in time, my Chance is heating up in the sink while I'm using another, smaller toy to warm myself up for him. I hear my roommate close the door, piss, and then calmly say, "Not only could I hear your sex-sounds down the hallway, so can everyone else on the floor." He then proceeds to open the door and pauses to ask, "Is that a horse dick in the sink?" I, terrified, reply with an affirmative. "Oh. Well, good luck with that." Click.
We're still roommates, and I still use my toys in the shower, but now I play music while I'm doing it. He says it's better than hearing my girlish little noises, and we joke about the toys I have. He's even asked to see them once or twice, and has asked for advice on what to buy for his girlfriend. (Not that I'd really know what feels nice for a girl, but whatever.)
No just kidding. SO I got busted while fapping to homemade porn when i was 12 that I made using the SPIDERMAN CARTOON MAKER for windows 3.1 (lol old) lets just say a lot of speechbubbles, venom, spiderman, and maryjane were involved >:3
It was horribly embarrassing especially since my parents were pretty fanatical Christians at the time XD
And that's my story XD
Made religion.
The most worthless thing ever.
People also made Atheism.
.... Which makes the point further demonstrated.
sadly religion still popular within the masses
The first time I was busted on cannabis: Me and a friend of mine went to the second floor of the barn at my place. We smoked a nice bowl (a bowl, not a cigarette, no butts) of dro. We came back all red-eyed. My mom smelled the smoke on me. She immediately asked "WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE BUTTS?"
Ever since then that quote's been an in-joke with a few friends of mine.
At the time, my step-brother lived in the top floor of my father's condo. I was visiting my father one weekend while home from boarding school, and a friend of mine from the same school was there with me. At the same time, my father and step-mom were throwing a large get-together for friends and family.
It didn't take long for the event to bore us, so my friend and I decided to go up to the top floor and look around through my step-brother's stuff. We never expected to find a BIG PINK VEINY FOAM PENIS in his closet. Highly amused, my friend started flopping it around, pretending it was his and we had some laughs.
Then my father called me downstairs, but I didn't realize that my friend hadn't followed. I get down there to the living room where 20+ people are gathered and turn to look at me. My father asks, "Where's your friend?" Just then, I hear from the top floor -- "Hey David, catch!!" The big pink floppy penis falls three floors and lands beside me. The whole room goes silent.
Thinking back, this may have been the reason why I spent two more years in boarding school.
When I was 13, 14 or so (can't remember my age then specifically) I fapped a lot. I often fapped even in the middle of the day when I had nothing better to do. I found plenty of hiding places back then as well.
Unfortunately one of them happened to be the bathroom shower (as what seems to be the case often here). As I was fapping one time (I had the curtain closed) and my mom came in the room to take a piss. I immediately went soft. Had to stay there for the entire thing otherwise, well just imagine taking a piss and all of a sudden here's this little faggot scrambling out of the shower attempting to zip his pants back up, run out of the bathroom, and pretend that never happened. Fuck that.
At least I didn't have to see anything, but having to hear it was pretty weird. Mostly I was terrified she might look inside the shower for whatever reason and find me. The entire time I was too scared to even buckle up my pants because I was afraid she might hear me.
Then someone from PETA hears you outside and freaks out!
(Got caught stealing money from my mom's purse when I was little and wanted a toy that I hadn't finished earning.)
Oh but wait, here's my real story.
So when I was 12, I was discovering porn. I also played WoW from when I was 12 to 15, so I could often use that as an excuse for why I was on the computer. One night, it was around 9:00. I had just taken my shower, and I was walking around in my briefs, about to go to bed, to my parent's belief. Well, during this time, I decided to hop on the computer and just look at some porn before bed. At this time, I was somewhat bi-curious (fully gay now), so of course, I was looking at gay porn that day. I barely, BARELY hear my dad walking towards me on the computer, which is in our game-room (approximately 40 feet from the hall where he was walking from). Barely meant he was maybe 7 feet away from me. I also didn't know how to alt+f4 at the time, so I had to manually move the mouse to the X. When he asked me what I was doing, I told him I was checking my mail on World of Warcraft. Ignoring my tent in my briefs (and the little wet-spot, I hope), he shrugged and told me to go to bed.
TL;DR My dad has almost caught me looking at gay porn a fuckload of times. It's pretty scary. I haven't been caught with a guy yet though. Yet.
Remember the moral everyone, it's best not to meet your girlfriends mom for the first time while butt nekkid
What a bitch.
blew my eyebrows off.
never saw the cat again.....
And as I'm listening, I proceed to.. "finish", and try my hardest to keep a straight face. No one noticed, and I didn't get caught.
At least... I hope no one noticed.
...Well, that was REALLY awkward to describe.
that
or while I was dating my hubby we were in our town's park, under a large tree and I gave him a hand job and caused a giant mess >< little kids were around and I am pretty sure some one saw something ><
I got stunned and said "in a minute. Please leave it outside." That was one of my closest calls.
Also Two months ago, my sister was using the computer and she opened the FA tab where I was with a pron dessign. She said "Bro, I think I don't really like this" Luckily she hasn't mentioned it.