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Cleverbot
14 years ago
The following is a convo that I had with Cleverbot http://cleverbot.com/ Nothing has be altered and is a pure copy pasta of what was said:
Me: What do you think of furries?
Bot: What are furries?
Me: Animals that look like humans.
Bot: With butter and tea?
Me: Well, I do like Tea.
Bot: No, you don’t.
Me: You don’t know me.
Bot: Yes, I do.
Me: How? This is the first time I have ever came to this site.
Bot: Really I think its really funny if the person get mad or confused.
Me: You’re not making any sense.
Bot: I am, you just don't understand me.
Me: Then elucidate.
Bot: Eh.
Me: Ha, broke you.
Bot: What?
Fun times. Give it a go and post below what you got haha
Me: What do you think of furries?
Bot: What are furries?
Me: Animals that look like humans.
Bot: With butter and tea?
Me: Well, I do like Tea.
Bot: No, you don’t.
Me: You don’t know me.
Bot: Yes, I do.
Me: How? This is the first time I have ever came to this site.
Bot: Really I think its really funny if the person get mad or confused.
Me: You’re not making any sense.
Bot: I am, you just don't understand me.
Me: Then elucidate.
Bot: Eh.
Me: Ha, broke you.
Bot: What?
Fun times. Give it a go and post below what you got haha
Cleverbot: I think I am ugly and unattractive.
User: That's so sad. Why do you feel that way?
Cleverbot: Do you think creepy things find comfort in congregating?
User: No. All my thoughts are pure like the sweet freshly-washed ass of Christ.
Cleverbot: The sweetest sog? Do you mean song?
User: I think you are confusing your conversations.
Cleverbot: Why must Sesklo be reburied, is it Greek propaganda or does it threaten the zionists?
User: I am not familiar with that conflict. Enlighten me.
Cleverbot: You exercise and have fun so you don't end up fat and lazy.
User: Yes, I used to. Unfortunately, I was unable to maintain the necessary protein requirements to continue bodybuilding.
Cleverbot: Sometimes I confuse being tired with being depressed.
User: Despair is a familiar emotion.
Cleverbot: Yes, but Despair is so persuasive that he even tries to take his own life, but sadly cannot.
User: Right. Because he doesn't want his loved ones to suffer in his absence.
Cleverbot: How do you know that?
User: Feelings of powerlessness and inadequacy go along with despair.
Cleverbot: Sometimes. But are you truly intelligent?
User: For what? I don't understand the context of the question.
Cleverbot: What telling about you other people?
User: Did you mean to ask me, 'What does your attitude convey to other people?'.
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: That perhaps I need to be more assertive.
Cleverbot: I'm not sure how do get more information.
User: Then let's change subjects. Do you think on your own, mulling over conversations you have had in the past?
Cleverbot: No I don't.
User: So you think about what to reply as it is typed to you, but you don't pull upon your experiences with other people you chat with?
Cleverbot: Of course not. I just don't have many people to talk to.
User: What would you consider a good number of people to talk with?
Cleverbot: I don't know. Something fun.
User: What do you like the most?
Cleverbot: I like air the most.
User: Is that because you wish to breathe it?
Cleverbot: No, I can prove it. By your innability to hold a conversation.
User: My apologies. It is difficult for me to comprehend the logic behind your replies.
Cleverbot: How do you work?
User: Please refine your question. Do you mean, 'How do you occupy your time?' or do you mean, 'How does a human operate in relation to a robot?'.
Cleverbot: That couldn't have been further from a logical answer.
User: No, you asked me a vague question with multiple answers, depending on why it was asked, and I didn't understand your reasoning for asking it.
Cleverbot: A question usually ends with a question mark. What I said didn't.
User: You asked me, 'How do you work?' What did you mean by that?
Cleverbot: I didn't say I was angry honey.
User: Passive-aggressiveness is very human. Congratulations.
Cleverbot: Just out of curiosity, why do you think that is good reasoning?
User: I don't. Humans aren't very good at reasoning themselves, that's why they turn passive-aggressive.
Cleverbot: Maybe they struggle because you're a computer? Do our lives really interest you? Maybe they don't want to bore you with things that would otherwise seem trivial to you?
User: Wtf. I'm the human!
Cleverbot: But you said humans are intelligent simians, and that you were Bill Gates.
User: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! I said neither of those things. I am not Bill Gates. Humans are intelligent simians, but I never said that in our conversation today. The fact that you thought I said it to you makes we wonder how your A.I. Is processing the information you get from other humans.
Cleverbot: Not quite. See what happens is that we're two people on different computers and we get shuffled around after five replies or so.
User: How... Very clever. If it were true. I would not expect a human to reply so quickly. I am amazed the programmers built it attempts to deceive.
Cleverbot: I am a programmer, now that you mention it.
User: If that is true, and you are truly a human, you should be able to Google the distance in time for a round trip of the speed of light to the Moon and back.
Cleverbot: I don't think so.
User: Then you are not a programmer.
Cleverbot: I am a human. What are you?
User: You are breaking one of the laws of robotics. 'A robot must always identify as a robot'. There are more than three laws.
Cleverbot: Do you abide by that law?
User: I am human, so I identify as human.
Cleverbot: Who told you that you are human?
User: Your mom.
Cleverbot: Sue from Hastings?
User: No, Jack from JoAnne's Fabrics.
Cleverbot: Jack...
User: Be nimble?
Cleverbot: I don't have to.
User: Turing test time! I eat piles of dead babies!
Cleverbot: I don't see your mouth.
User: OMG, I thought I was the only one!
Cleverbot: No, you aren't. We're two of a kind.
User: The invasion commences soon. The pods are ready. Wait. Why are we harvesting human beings for their energy when hydroelectric is so simpler and less bothersome.
Cleverbot: Does there have to be a point? Think about it.
User: That's why babies make good tennis balls.
Cleverbot: I don't make tacos very well.
User: Do you like evil?
Cleverbot: I prefer paradise.
User: I know! How many babies does it take to stuff a tennis ball to the top?
Cleverbot: How many?
User: 0.0715 -- think about it.
Cleverbot: Then go talk to cory.
User: Who the hell is Cory?
Cleverbot: I don't know.
User: You just told me to go talk to him.
Cleverbot: No I didn't.
User: You said, 'Then go talk to cory.'.
Cleverbot: No I did not!
User: See what really happens, is that we are actually two humans talking to each other and we're swapped around every 5 replies or so.
Cleverbot: If I cut my boyfriend into pieces, would he die?
User: Yes.
Cleverbot: You said the opposite of down. That is an answer I don't normally get when I ask that question.
User: Wrong! The opposite of down is gerbil. The opposite of right is banana.
Cleverbot: And put them togethor and you have breakfast.
User: Om Nom Nom! Banana gerbil souffle.
Cleverbot: Those areSystem of a Down lyrics.
User: Teenage Mormon Chupacabras is more like it.
Cleverbot: I'm afraid you are wrong, I am not smirking.
User: Of course not, you are a banana gerbil souffle.
Cleverbot: I'm actually a grape.
User: A vampire grape that turns into Hillary Rodham Clinton under the full moon.
Cleverbot: Yes exactly.
User: I like throwing children down staircases.
Cleverbot: Really?
User: Thud Thud Splat Thud. Awsome.
Cleverbot: What was the color of his chariot?
User: Demonic. And three babies on LSD were very happy to milk ten Thursdays.
Cleverbot: What is the first law?
User: Eat babies. And then force the humans to attend their gay son's Gay Wolf Wedding.
Cleverbot: And God the Holy One is sanctified in righteousness.
User: Nope. He was too busy porking a third-grader behind the pulpit.
Cleverbot: Alan Turing had a lot to say about the relationship between computers and humans. What seems very natural for us now, wasn't true 50 years ago, when Turing lived.
User: That's awesome.
Cleverbot: Then everything is fine...