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Taking Off - Long Version
14 years ago
Because if I don't explain, people will assume I'm more of an asshole (which I actually find hilarious, given the circumstances).
By now most of you have figured out who this alternate account belongs to. If you watch both accounts (this and my main), you should be able to connect the dots. Do the math. Whatever. Furry erotica is not conducive to a successful mainstream illustration career, and I have no intentions of trying to make a career out of furry erotica. And the last thing I want to happen is for someone here to post the stuff I had on here to an image board, and somehow that image makes its way to the vetting eyes of an art director.
That's reason one.
Reason two is because I got tired of this account. Originally it was just for shits and giggles; "My Sanctuary of Unprofessionalism" is what I called it. I acted like more of a jerk here than I did on my main and somehow, some way, you all put up with it. I had no intentions of making this account a full-time venture. I had no intentions of this account being anything more than an art dump where I snark the fuck out of stuff I don't understand or think is ridiculous. I just wanted a place to post the stuff I did in my spare time.
Reason two-and-a-half? I felt uncomfortable with all of the pressure there was to keep doing stuff I wasn't truly all that comfortable doing to begin with. Folks don't seem to understand how monumentally frustrating it is to wade through comments about how an artist "should be" drawing more of this or "needs to be" drawing more of that. So I don't "owe" anything to anyone here. I don't owe you all some sort of prior warning that I was going to remove my stuff. (Why would I give everyone time to mass-download my crap so they could just upload it to fchan or /bara/ or wherever, defeating the point of removing it to begin with as per reason one?)
Hell, I don't even owe you an explanation. But I gave you one anyway, 'cause I'm just that nice of a guy.
So yeah, that's it. Go on thy merry way and FAP ONTO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH.
:|
By now most of you have figured out who this alternate account belongs to. If you watch both accounts (this and my main), you should be able to connect the dots. Do the math. Whatever. Furry erotica is not conducive to a successful mainstream illustration career, and I have no intentions of trying to make a career out of furry erotica. And the last thing I want to happen is for someone here to post the stuff I had on here to an image board, and somehow that image makes its way to the vetting eyes of an art director.
That's reason one.
Reason two is because I got tired of this account. Originally it was just for shits and giggles; "My Sanctuary of Unprofessionalism" is what I called it. I acted like more of a jerk here than I did on my main and somehow, some way, you all put up with it. I had no intentions of making this account a full-time venture. I had no intentions of this account being anything more than an art dump where I snark the fuck out of stuff I don't understand or think is ridiculous. I just wanted a place to post the stuff I did in my spare time.
Reason two-and-a-half? I felt uncomfortable with all of the pressure there was to keep doing stuff I wasn't truly all that comfortable doing to begin with. Folks don't seem to understand how monumentally frustrating it is to wade through comments about how an artist "should be" drawing more of this or "needs to be" drawing more of that. So I don't "owe" anything to anyone here. I don't owe you all some sort of prior warning that I was going to remove my stuff. (Why would I give everyone time to mass-download my crap so they could just upload it to fchan or /bara/ or wherever, defeating the point of removing it to begin with as per reason one?)
Hell, I don't even owe you an explanation. But I gave you one anyway, 'cause I'm just that nice of a guy.
So yeah, that's it. Go on thy merry way and FAP ONTO THE ENDS OF THE EARTH.
:|
But nice try.
Or you failed at making me care. Try harder.
Just cut your losses, dude. Or pick another one of them 2,000 folks you're watching to make snarky not-quite-so-witty comments to instead of me.
Because you uploaded it at all in the first place? Reason one is perfectly reasonable, but you've already done the damage, so have the balls to stick with your decision, or at least give a timely explanation to the people who gave you your soapbox to begin with. The first journal was a passive-aggressive dick move, with the existence of this second journal being proof that you probably realized that pretty quickly.
You just don't get it, do you? Or maybe you do, and you're of the mindset that trolling my alternate account gets you "cool points" or something. Either way, it's pretty pathetic.
I suppose I could claim my moral victory when an art director sees my work and suddenly *BAM* I find myself on the wrong end of the blacklist. Or maybe I just don't appreciate having my work taken down and redistributed without my consent.
or at least give a timely explanation to the people who gave you your soapbox to begin with
Your self-importance is laughable. Honestly, what the fuck have you done for me, except hit the "watch" button? Is that such a concession on your part that it deserves, no, DEMANDS compensation from myself?
You know what's kind of funny? As I was thinking about it on my bus trip, I actually considered re-uploading a couple pieces to this account. But coming back here to read your self-serving drivel has made me realize I made the right decision. I don't need to answer to you, and I won't. But hey, if this sort of thing is what gives you a sense of purpose in life, don't let me stand in the way.
The irony of the situation is also pretty funny: that you justified having this account, (presumably, from what I gather from your descriptions and journals) because you thought it gave you a chance to laugh at the poor saps clamoring for your porn; but -- in what must have been a creeping, slowly-growing realization of horror -- it was truly yourself you were dooming.
My point is that all of this should have been evident from the get-go, and that if you weren't comfortable with it then (as you must not have been, hence the creation of a "secret" account in the first place), you should have known and had the self control to walk away from the idea. That's professionalism: protecting yourself from the outing of your indiscretions by not committing them in the first place. I sympathize with your situation as a future professional; I really do. But as a furry, I would be lying if I said that I was fond of artists who put up work "for shits and giggles," but who later chicken out and refuse to personally acknowledge the "them" that made and posted the work. (And I realize that this makes me something of a hypocrite.)
Hopefully you won't see the day when someone judges you negatively for expressing... whatever aspect of yourself that you were expressing here. But the truth remains: you can't take back your internets. Best learn to deal with the situation in a way that doesn't make you look indecisive or self loathing, on top of being a pornographer.
(And I realize that this makes me something of a hypocrite.)
Oh wait, never mind.
Best learn to deal with the situation in a way that doesn't make you look indecisive or self loathing, on top of being a pornographer.
You know what's hilarious about this whole situation, though? Re-posting my work would make me look even more indecisive. You are just upset that I took down my work before you had a chance to download it all. And that's fine; I can't really blame you for that. But first you say I owe you something, and now you attack my character for putting my foot down in a way that you personally don't agree with.
Wow, you really are a hypocrite. The rules only apply when you want them to apply.
Your point is that you're throwing a hissy fit, and that when that doesn't work, you go after someone because you cannot deal with change. Change is a constant part of life. Hell, change is life, and life is change. Scaring me with your specters of "internet is everywhere" this and "you can't undo it all" that won't change the fact that I made a change. It won't change my mindset, it won't bring the stuff I posted here back on here, and it sure as hell won't make me apologize to you for taking it down before I told you about it. So I really don't know why you're wasting your time here. As I said, maybe you find your purpose in life is spouting off pointless rants about making decisions. Good for you. Just do it someplace else next time, alright?
I do apologize for my pretentious manner, and for any perceived attempt to claim your natural right to that which is your prerogative (not that I actually made any such claim). You don't owe anyone anything, as an intrinsic matter. As a social matter? Insofar that you would like to be seen as a considerate and mindful person? You fucked up. Perhaps, even in the account's initial creation (again, irony, considering that its point was related to how you wanted to manipulate people's perception of you, by managing their probable knowledge of your activities). So I stand by my critique. The only thing about this account not handled poorly, it would seem, is the art itself.
Again, I truly hope that your mishandling of this situation does not come to affect you negatively in the future. Anything else would be petty and far beyond the worth of, oh, 20 minutes total interaction on FA (of all places).
I don't have disdain for watchers. As I said again, this was supposed to be my sanctuary for unprofessionalism. Anything I did here was to be taken with a grain of salt - which evidently many folks don't seem to understand. But that was to be expected. I stand by what I said about not owing anything to watchers here. Hitting the "+watch" link does not entitle someone to having me care about them. But just because I don't owe them anything doesn't mean I have disdain for them.
Anyway, again, apology accepted.
I came here following a tag of a commission you did for someone recently, and I like many others came over to browse your art. When I got here I noticed that the whole page was nuked. Normaly I wouldnt care and just move on, but I recently came back to FA myself a matter of days ago and felt like seeing what happend out of raw curiosity, so I browsed this entry and some of your previous ones.
All I have to say is this, if people were watching you it meant you had some kind of talent that people enjoyed. Reguardless of how they viewed it or where it ended up, thats why it was spread around the internet and more people came to watch you. Obviously you have the right to remove your content and post it where you chose, but if you were posting it on the web in the first place, wasnt it your main intent for it to be seen and shared?
As for your main account, why be ashamed? When I came back I contemplated creating a seperate account for some of my other content, but decided to place it all on the same spot as it was previously, because I'm happy with what I have created and have to share.
I have watched many artists come and go, for various reasons, but I come here because I ultimately want to be seen and share. And thats why I came back as well, despite what people may say or think.
I hope you dont mind if I watch you, just incase you return.
I wish you the best even if I've never met you :)
All I have to say is this, if people were watching you it meant you had some kind of talent that people enjoyed.
The talent I had was not drawing, it was drawing specific things that just so happened to cater to a specific set of interests.
As for your main account, why be ashamed?
Not "ashamed" but "discerning".
Honestly, this account is just here for the sake of being here now. I have no intentions of returning to it in any capacity whatsoever.
I didn't go anywhere. I just removed the work that was on this account (as in, the account where this Journal is posted, not the account that is replying to you).
Concerning coming off as a jerk, I don't really care about that. I didn't care about it on this one (where this Journal is posted) and I don't really care about it on the other one (the one replying to you).
Concerning me giving a flying snot about the community, I'd be lying to you if I said I did. Well, not lying, but I'd be deceiving you to say I did. I have friends in the community but that's about as far as I consider myself to be a part of it. The funny thing about the musclefur clique (and that's exactly what it is: a clique) is that they care about you if a) you are buff in real life (or are actively trying to become buff), b) have a fursona who is buff, or c) draw characters who are buff. Since I don't fit the mold of "a" or "b", I have to conclude that the only reason the musclefur clique gives a crap about my existence is "c". While that's flattering and all, I kind of wish folks would, you know, give a crap about me instead of pretending to give a crap about me so they could kiss my ass in the hopes of getting me to do free art for them.
(And I realize that's a shallow, petty way of thinking, but in my experience many people actually do just that: kiss ass in hopes of free art. So my shallow, petty way of thinking matches many people's shallow, petty way of acting.)
What I find really strange is that other artists on FA remove their work frequently, yet nobody gets upset at them when they do it without warning. But if I do it, suddenly it makes me a coward and a malcontent.
I guess those other people must have some buff fursonas, then.