Hey! I'm always here for you Lilly. I care about your ranting. Ranting is the best way to express your emotions, thoughts and feelings. If you ever want to talk im always here and i'll be sure to respond. My name is Alek if your not sure who I am. I have a friend who is in the exact same boat as you. Her parents yell at her and get upset with her for no reason what so ever. She has 2 other siblings who dont give a rats butt about her even though she has feelings for them, and she barely gets any sleep. She cuts everyonce and a while. The only thing keeping her going are her friends who care. That's the short version of the story. I have not expirienced depression to such a level where I would cut myself, but I sure know what it feels like. Isolated, cold, sad, away from the privlages the world has to offer. Im sure that you are an awesome person Lilly, judging by the way you talk and comment you seem like a very nice person. Just remember that me and probably a whole bunch of people out there care about your well being. Stay strong and you will get through this.

Your friend and watcher, Alek

I'm sorry that things are so hard for you right now. You just have to find light when there is none. Do whatever you can to find happiness. Try to find something that makes you happy. It can be something as simple as drawing. Reading. Coloring a picture. When I get depressed I just find a way to occupy my mind whether it be video games or WoW. Spend time with your kids. That's always a wonderful thing. Maybe take to writing poetry or listening to music, that's another thing you can do. And when people yell at you don't take it to heart. You're a wonderful person and you're doing the best you can. If it's not good enough for other people. Then screw them. Just try to find light at the end of the tunnel. Remember you're loved and cared about by so many. Take care sweetie.

If I could find the words to properly convey my feelings for you I would but I am not able to do so at this time for I am at a loss of what to say but if it can help I would have you know that I will never give up on you and support you in all that you try with my love for you and my undying loyalty.