There are a thousand things constantly going through my mind. Art, music, my health, getting a job, getting an apartment, money, food, how long it's been since I've seen my family, my health again, and so many more things.

You all know that I worry about my health to no end. Lately, I've been worrying a lot more than usual. I think it's because of that spontaneous pneumothorax I had (collapsed lung, for those who don't know).

When I got out of the hospital, I went on a butterscotch binge and ate about 6 bags of that insanely delicious and addictive candy in two weeks. I actually put on a bit of a gut within that time, and now I'm depressed, because I was NEVER given an actual amount of time I should be "taking it easy", so I don't know if I should or could be working out to get rid of this weight.

On top of that, I've been feeling like absolute SHIT lately. My arms have a feeling of general weakness, it's been raining all day today and yesterday, and my joints have been feeling creaky (I thought that happened only to old fogies, damnit...), I've had that fucking pain in my side for over a month, now, and even while I was in the fucking hospital for that week, they couldn't figure out what the fuck it was. My brain has been feeling like molasses and I can't really concentrate on anything.

Because of all of that, I don't feel like going out and looking for a job, because if I can barely get the energy to get dressed and walk out the door, who's going to hire me to sell shit to customers?

So I have no money, I can barely get myself up and out to go get a job, and when I can, no place I go to is hiring.

So because of that, we have no money to get a new place, even though we need to either get out of here or pay an absolutely insane bill which we were never told about before they told us the insane amount of the bill.

I applied for food stamps a while back, and I was successful in getting them. I also got something in the mail stating that I need to call in for an interview the day before the letter was sent. Then, I got something else in the mail the other day stating that I need to apply again because I never called in for that interview. I looked at the information on that letter and the older ones I've received, and ALL of them have this "phone number" listed on them: 1 (000) 000-0000.

SO FUCKING HELPFUL.

So I applied again. Let's just see if that actually works out this time.

I'm just fucking sick of feeling like shit.