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A change of heart (spritual talk)
14 years ago
To some of you this may not make sense, to others you may go "WTF really? But I thought he was crazy bitter"
The past couple of years I found myself in a bit of a bewilderment. I love the fandom to pieces and it helped form me into the dragon you see before you today. But it wasn't always that way, when I started off under the massive fandom umbrella I didn't start off as a Furry, but instead a Draconic.
Certain drama on a rather bad forum lead me to try hard to distance myself from that identity because I didn't like their notion of "we all must drink the community koolaid" and a good few I knew on the one board were trying to almost turn it into a religion.. But because of a few bad apples like that I pretty much stopped identifying as Draconic and just started to tell people I was simply spiritual because I didn't want the perceived reputation Draconics and Otherkin had to follow me around.
Flash forward 8 years to this time, I had been in contact with a very old friend of mine who I have known since I entered the fandom. The past few years she has been exploring her own spirituality. Not the atypical spiritual notion of past lives, phantom limbs or meditation and astral projection. She is actually in the Native American type of spirituality. I talked with her for so long and every time it always made me think how many walls I had put up around my Draconity just to keep away from the title. I told her all about my past numerous times but lately I went into more detail about it and how I came to be in the furry fandom yet still call myself a dragon spiritually.
Originally I was talking to her more and more about getting back to my roots and exploring my personal Dragon spirituality without being told what to believe. She recommended a few things to just help me strengthen and explore my own personal spirituality.. but one thing she said for some reason really struck a cord with me. She told me that no matter what I do or even how I label myself, nothing can change the Dragon I have always been. That I have always been the same Draconic at my core and its simply my outlook of the world that's changed.
With that in mind I spent a good long while thinking about that notion and realized that it was rather silly of me to spend so long trying to re-label myself as things like Draconian, Spiritual or the like when from day one I had started as a Draconic and I should not be trying to hide or re-label myself cause of a few bad apples I met 10 years back.
The past couple of years I found myself in a bit of a bewilderment. I love the fandom to pieces and it helped form me into the dragon you see before you today. But it wasn't always that way, when I started off under the massive fandom umbrella I didn't start off as a Furry, but instead a Draconic.
Certain drama on a rather bad forum lead me to try hard to distance myself from that identity because I didn't like their notion of "we all must drink the community koolaid" and a good few I knew on the one board were trying to almost turn it into a religion.. But because of a few bad apples like that I pretty much stopped identifying as Draconic and just started to tell people I was simply spiritual because I didn't want the perceived reputation Draconics and Otherkin had to follow me around.
Flash forward 8 years to this time, I had been in contact with a very old friend of mine who I have known since I entered the fandom. The past few years she has been exploring her own spirituality. Not the atypical spiritual notion of past lives, phantom limbs or meditation and astral projection. She is actually in the Native American type of spirituality. I talked with her for so long and every time it always made me think how many walls I had put up around my Draconity just to keep away from the title. I told her all about my past numerous times but lately I went into more detail about it and how I came to be in the furry fandom yet still call myself a dragon spiritually.
Originally I was talking to her more and more about getting back to my roots and exploring my personal Dragon spirituality without being told what to believe. She recommended a few things to just help me strengthen and explore my own personal spirituality.. but one thing she said for some reason really struck a cord with me. She told me that no matter what I do or even how I label myself, nothing can change the Dragon I have always been. That I have always been the same Draconic at my core and its simply my outlook of the world that's changed.
With that in mind I spent a good long while thinking about that notion and realized that it was rather silly of me to spend so long trying to re-label myself as things like Draconian, Spiritual or the like when from day one I had started as a Draconic and I should not be trying to hide or re-label myself cause of a few bad apples I met 10 years back.
It lead me to separate myself from the label, but as time went on I met more understanding and open minded people who became great friends of mine and it just made me think that it was silly for me to hide who I was because of a few bad apples.
Most of the Dragons I see here on FA are pretty lively for the most part ^.=.^
Drama happens, I guess it comes with being social critters. But if you're a dragon, that's what you are. Be you. 'Cuz you're nifty.
Yeah I let the drama get to me and it formed a rather lasting impression sadly, but I am moving past that all, can't deny who I am just cause I happened to meet other people who identified similarly to me who were just jerks.
After years of "hiding" my name from that identity and meeting more and more open and level headed kin and dragons that were not like the "far out there" types I encounter those 10 years back I realized that holding up a barrier for so long like I was wasn't doing me any good cause of how servery I was limiting myself spiritually and socially. I guess you could say I was too paranoid for too long about being associated with the "religious Koolaid" types that lurk around some forums lol.
*high paws!*