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Who am I?
14 years ago
General
Inspired by the journal my friend 
recently put up!
I almost have to start of explaining the Sonia v. Katy thing, as it's become a question in the fandom with my family and the people I've met. My best friend in 6th-8th grade and I used to roleplay on pen and paper in class and Sonia was the character that I created. She was the embodiment of all the traits I hoped to grow into, courageous, confident, self-aware, maternal but not crippling in her need to tend to others, able to do what she wanted when she wanted, creative and lovely. Sonia was the name I started to use as my pseudonym, and eventually came to be the secondary name I was known for. That's been about 15 years or so, and as I'm growing into my adulthood it's funnier even now as I consider how I'll legally add this into my name. Sonia isn't a fursona / persona / character anymore - it's as much me as anything else and it pleases me in ways I can't even explain every time I hear someone call me by that name. It's a slight nod to the kid I was when I started being creative and it's a steady glance into the woman I still have yet to become.
Samirah has been around for some.....ten or so years, since I guess I've actively been in the fandom for thirteen, through different looks and different color schemes. (oldest, http://fanart.lionking.org/Artists/.....mpire/Avvy.gif , current, http://fanart.lionking.org/Artists/.....amirahRef.jpg) - Sam was the part of me that I tried to be, warm, charismatic, outgoing, friendly, level headed - but before I knew it it became more a mix of who I presently was and the person I wanted to be. She was always a safe sort of feeling for me, if I tried to put it into words it became something akin to a haven for the moments I needed comfort most. Losing friends, relationships, forming connections with people - most of the strongest memories I have are less mine in the present sense but the ones that I found through Samirah.
Lillium is only..I'd say two years old, in a sense, and she came to me when I found myself again. Being with Ryan put me in very dark, dark places and finding the strength to leave that mess and to find myself became a journey that lead to a lot of self discovery and strength. Lily became a random thought that transformed into a stronger presence and eventually, the little lady became a forethought all her own. She is inquisitive, confident, but still as tender and loving as ever. She relies much more on herself, while Sam has always been about others, and they became a equal balance for me.
When I retreat into myself in moments of frustration or despair, it's always Sam that seems to manifest herself in different ways. When I am upbeat and happy, Lily is usually there. Lillium has been what people see on the outside, and Samirah the inner part of me that I share with fewer and fewer people.
recently put up!I almost have to start of explaining the Sonia v. Katy thing, as it's become a question in the fandom with my family and the people I've met. My best friend in 6th-8th grade and I used to roleplay on pen and paper in class and Sonia was the character that I created. She was the embodiment of all the traits I hoped to grow into, courageous, confident, self-aware, maternal but not crippling in her need to tend to others, able to do what she wanted when she wanted, creative and lovely. Sonia was the name I started to use as my pseudonym, and eventually came to be the secondary name I was known for. That's been about 15 years or so, and as I'm growing into my adulthood it's funnier even now as I consider how I'll legally add this into my name. Sonia isn't a fursona / persona / character anymore - it's as much me as anything else and it pleases me in ways I can't even explain every time I hear someone call me by that name. It's a slight nod to the kid I was when I started being creative and it's a steady glance into the woman I still have yet to become.
Samirah has been around for some.....ten or so years, since I guess I've actively been in the fandom for thirteen, through different looks and different color schemes. (oldest, http://fanart.lionking.org/Artists/.....mpire/Avvy.gif , current, http://fanart.lionking.org/Artists/.....amirahRef.jpg) - Sam was the part of me that I tried to be, warm, charismatic, outgoing, friendly, level headed - but before I knew it it became more a mix of who I presently was and the person I wanted to be. She was always a safe sort of feeling for me, if I tried to put it into words it became something akin to a haven for the moments I needed comfort most. Losing friends, relationships, forming connections with people - most of the strongest memories I have are less mine in the present sense but the ones that I found through Samirah.
Lillium is only..I'd say two years old, in a sense, and she came to me when I found myself again. Being with Ryan put me in very dark, dark places and finding the strength to leave that mess and to find myself became a journey that lead to a lot of self discovery and strength. Lily became a random thought that transformed into a stronger presence and eventually, the little lady became a forethought all her own. She is inquisitive, confident, but still as tender and loving as ever. She relies much more on herself, while Sam has always been about others, and they became a equal balance for me.
When I retreat into myself in moments of frustration or despair, it's always Sam that seems to manifest herself in different ways. When I am upbeat and happy, Lily is usually there. Lillium has been what people see on the outside, and Samirah the inner part of me that I share with fewer and fewer people.
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