The Adventures of the American Rabbit (Title shortened above for space reasons)
Released in: 1986
Produced by: MGM
Type of Release: Theatrical (believe it or not, this thing WAS released in theaters according to Rotten Tomatoes)
Because this movie has only 2 tomatometer reviews on it, coming up with a fair equivalent score based on its rating is impossible this time around.

Personal History

This was probably one of the first movies that my mother rented for me back in like '87 because I had picked it out. Back then I had (and still do to a certain extent) a thing for rabbits...of course, not exactly in the same way as I do now obviously. In addition, I was still in that whole "unless it's a cartoon, I'm not likely to watch it" phase in my life as well, so naturally I wanted to see it. I'd give an impression of what I felt about the movie as a 7-year old, but I'm afraid I don't remember enough of what it was like back then to do so. Naturally, I remember the movie and I did rewatch it a couple of times once I found it on Netflix, including yesterday when I was preparing for this review.

Basic Storyline

In a sense, it feels a lot like Superman, only with a rabbit instead of the actual Man of Steel. The American Rabbit himself exhibits a lot of characteristics of Superman in his story (being super-strong, able to fly, etc.) However, unlike Superman where he has to work at a newspaper disguised as Clark Kent, the American Rabbit is a pianist and travels along with other musicians after their club is trashed by a bunch of jackal bikers. This is pretty much the main plot of this thing, group travels from site to site trying to find work and build up funds to rebuild their club, run into jackals, American Rabbit shows up to save day, lather, rinse, repeat.

Towards the end of the movie though, the plot turns from bikersplotation to a more general superhero type plot when the one in charge of the jackals (a vulture no less) decides he wants to, you guessed it...take over the world (Naturally, I'm gonna subject you to the M. Bison 'of course' gag). I'll get to my thoughts on this plan once I further analyze it down below.

What works with this movie

+: For 1986 standards the visual quality is not too bad (it's not theatrical quality, but it's still decent and has some well-rendered backgrounds)
+: Some of the action scenes are not that bad either (though not as good as some of the scenes from TV shows of the time...like Ninja Turtles for example. Speaking of Ninja Turtles...)
+: Donatello = the main character (or more specifically the voice of Donatello. His voice suits Rob well when he's in civilian form. But there is an issue with it which I will get to shortly)
+: Lorenzo Music (Because y'know, he's the voice of Garfield and Peter Venkman in the Animated Ghostbusters series)

What didn't work in this movie

-: THE PLOT!!! (OK, let me explain here...the superhero part of the movie I can understand, but the villain's plot is ABSOLUTELY IDIOTIC! "Buzzard Breath" wants to take over the world by kidnapping a chocolate making moose and his son and forcing them to make chocolate so they can control the populace. Well, there are a few significant flaws in this idea. *begins talking like Linkara* 1. While most people like chocolate, they can certainly do without it (both literally and figuratively) and some don't even care for it in the first place. 2. Kidnapping one chocolate maker isn't going to get the job done if you want to take over the world, as ludicrous as the idea is to begin with. Even if you get the chocolate moose to do what you want him to do, there are still HUNDREDS, if not THOUSANDS of other chocolatiers worldwide, including a rather LARGE chocolate factory in Hershey, PA (not to far from NYC where said events take place). 3. IT'S NEW YORK CITY!!! They're not going to be intimidated by your jackal bikers...of course they're gonna fight back!!! 4. WHY?!! Why in the love of god does he want to take over the world in the first place?!! Because he says he's "evil", that's not a very good excuse...even if the movie is for kids. For that matter, why does he proclaim this some 2/3 of the way into the movie when it only seems at first that his group is only a menace to a localized area or to the main group?
-: Donatello as the voice OF the American Rabbit (remember when I said his voice was ideal for his civilian form? Well, as soon as he changes, the voice stays the same, which doesn't exactly invoke the feeling of "hero" to me. Sure, Donatello is a hero, but he can get away with it since he's supposed to be the techie of the ninja turtles. Couldn't the American Rabbit sound a little more manly when he's in superhero mode?)
-: Lorenzo Music in this movie (sure, I love his work as Garfield and Venkman, but in here as a talking gorilla, I don't feel those same vibes...plus he also talks in his Garfield voice in this, which makes me expect to see Garfield)
-: The protagonists in this movie (aside from the American Rabbit/Rob) are DUMBASSES! (There are several incidents of this. 1. When the aforementioned gorilla disappears and they notice a hypodermic needle on the ground and everyone but Rob suggests it's meaningless, 2. When they're booked at a club in the Grand Canyon called the "Trap Door" and they see nothing out of the ordinary with it, and 3. of course they're all stupid enough to not realize that they're being followed by the jackals everywhere they go and don't realize that it's them in OBVIOUS disguises. To all of the protagonists in the movie (except for Rob)...THIS CLIP IS FOR YOU! >:3)
-: Teddy (the panda, and owner of the wrecked club)...Let me put it this way, BEN STEIN speaks with more enthusiasm and emotion than he does. Even when Teddy gets "angry" it still sounds monotone.
-: The wizard rabbit guy who keeps popping in and out from times (especially at the beginning of the movie)...when I first noticed him in the movie, THIS was the first thing that popped in my mind.

Things that have me asking questions in this movie

?: Why would a bunch of bikers want to take orders from "Buzzard Breath"...or anyone for that matter if they're not the leader of the pack? It does not add up!
?: Why is there a Burger King poster in the background of one scene? (I'm serious...towards the end of the movie, as a cab drives over a buzzard flag after the New Yorkers turn against them, it passes a building with a Burger King poster on it. Granted, it's not a real poster, but still it makes me wonder about why it's there
?: What happened to the rabbit village when Rob left home for his life as the American Rabbit? (Did it go the same way as the raposa village did or did it just vanish into thin air?)
?: Are the villians in the movie supposed to be like Nazis? (Towards the end of the film, the jackals are wearing arm bands with the buzzard logo on it, much in the same way Nazis had swastikas on their armbands)

CONCLUSION: All nitpicking and bitching aside, this movie still holds some nostalgic value to me and it's not terrible per se towards its intended audience (young kids). That being said, in all honesty, it's pretty generic and not exactly worth a theatrical release. Nostalgia isn't going to affect my overall opinion on it.

Story Grade: D (mostly generic and the whole "take over the world with chocolate" thing makes no sense whatsoever)
Entertainment Grade: C- (The movie is definitely riffable and it does have a few good scenes in it, but overall it seems kinda bland)

OVERALL GRADE (Story/Entertainment average): D+
(For the kids, this movie might be a decent diversion, but for the grown-ups while there are far worse movies out there than this, it's not anything special. If it weren't a theatrical release, maybe I'd ease up a little on the grades, but as a theatrical release, I expect better.)

Next Movie Review: The Neverending Story
Next Week's Review: Thunder Force III