Ok, so just had to have had to most horrible, upsetting, and traumatic weeks ever at work. Strange how in five days you go from feeling secure in your employment to waiting to be laid off. Yes, I said waiting. Things at work right now have spiraled down hill. The government agency that is paying for the testing we do (at least until BP is convicted, which could still take years) has decided to not release any more funds till at least January 1. The thing is, my company has tripled it's workforce at my facility to process samples for this project, and can't afford to keep people hired doing nothing for 8+ weeks. On Friday, 5 people (one who was a close friend of mine) were laid of suddenly and with little warning. Hell, we haven't even been told what is going on. Just know because some people in the know have leaked information regarding what is going on. Even with theses lay offs, it's unlikely that there will be more then a week or two of work in my department and feel that it is inevitable that I will be laid off. So for me really, I feel it's now not a matter of if I'll be laid off, but when...

I really don't know what I'll do. Even after working all this time, doubt I'll have rebuilt much of my UI. I had around two months left when I took this job and will only be there for a little longer then 7 months. With the economy as it is (and companies halting till they know where the political pendulum will swing), I see it unlikely that I'll be able to land another job anytime soon. Maybe if I get laid off soon enough I can still snag a temp holiday job, but kinda doubt it. It just feels like whenever I make any little progress clawing my way forward, I eventually find myself even lower then I was when I started. How the hell am I ever going to get ahead and start building my life when my world crumbles either every month or every year. Truly, the American dream is dead. Maybe it's just time to accept the tea party and accept my life being nothing more then a peon for the 1%.