I haven't been here in a while. But I've been under a crazy amount of stress, the larger of the two I plan on elaborating on.

My parents just got a divorce. I mean, I know I'm nineteen and all, but for seventeen years, I've been in a house with both my mom and my dad. Two years ago that changed. I'm coping with it, but it's just really...strange to me.

The biggest source of my stress is my boyfriend. Yesterday, I saw him off. He got on the plane to Georgia where the base of his basic training into the Army is. I know it's only training and I know after he's done, he's gonna come back to me...but I'm just not coping with the fact that I can't even talk to him on the phone. Not seeing him sucks, but not even being able to text him sucks so much more.

He's gonna be back December 19th for maybe a week and then he's gone until February. Or march...or April. Fuck, I can't even remember.

"But Nyako!" you may say, "He's gonna come back from that and be fine!"
Well, after that, he gets deployed. I know it's far ahead, but that's the scariest thought going through my head. I tend to look at the bad side for a lot of things and this is no exception. I'm terrified my little Kuromeru's gonna go out and not come back. And it's giving me nightmares.

I'm...okay right now...Not too good, not too bad. But one second I'll be fine and the next I'll be in tears thinking about him. Once I get his address, I'll be able to send him letters and he's promised that whenever he's able to use the phone, I'm the first one he's gonna call, so that makes me feel better.

Anyway, that's what's up. It's why I've been gone. But I'll be a little more active sooner.