So as some people have noticed, I have changed a lot since the end of August,
Just as an FYI it is NOT a furries problem, and I am coming public about this, not for pity, not for anyone to look down upon, but so people understand why I have a sorta big problem with men.
I am not going to go into massive detail about this either, but I think it is something that I need to talk about, as well as my shrink said I should talk about it, and seeing as I can't do this face to face with anyone without crying, which I hate doing in front of people, I will just write it out.

So on August 30th, 2011, I was at a party in the early hours of the morning. My friends had left while I was finishing a coffee and a smoke out on the balcony of this place, and the party was ending pretty quick. I told them not to wait up and I would see them when they get back from being traveling hippies for the next few months. As I walked back to get my shoes, I leaned down to put them on, as I stood back up all I remember from that was getting hit by something, and I was out cold, I woke up somewhere around 445-5am or so is what I am guessing, and I had 2 men, on both sides of me, and I was in the middle of them, yes you know what happened, they each took turns holding me down, trading spots, no protection nothing. I had no idea what to do, and I was scared. I was able to get away by attacking my attackers, and fled to my car with my clothes which were still by the front door, I went to the hospital, was checked out, ended up finding out a few weeks ago I have a prostate infection, and minor damages to my insides of my behind, but nothing more, thank whatever is watching over me. Anyways after the "rape kit" and numerous talking to from the police, I was able to go home, but never the same, I tried to end my life numerous times, I didn't really want to leave my house, I went to RF, had an amazing time and realized I was being a self centered asshole for trying to kill myself, from seeing what was all around, but still had issues with men. Slowly but surely I am working on it, please don't force me to talk to you, I know I am ignoring a very vast majority of people I have been talking to, but there is nothing I can do about it at this time. Even the smallest thing that reminds me of the attack makes me afraid, the aggression, the fear, feeling so helpless, I wish this on no one, and I hope if anyone else has this happen to them they will report it, and keep living, I am still here because of a very small group of people who I told/didn't tell, no matter what, they will always keep me alive, because I know, the reason I didn't die that day, was because I am still needed somewhere around here.

Comment or whatever I don't care, but I again do not want your pity, I just want everyone to know what is going on.

Wabi~