FA+
Shop
You know what sucks guys? xD
14 years ago
General
Trip to, heave and ho; Up, down, to and fro- You have no word
I've discovered the only resolution to all my problems since october is to be happy that i've lost a friend.
How the hell is that possible?
I'm just sick of being depressed and worried and ignored every single day while thinking i mustve done something horribly wrong, when in fact i've done nothing. This isn't about any of you on here, because you have been nothing but supportive and I can't thank you all enough for dealing with my whiny emo crap.. This is a really deep and corrupt issue that only my closest RL friends will know about fully, and that's how it's going to stay.
But how the hell does one just up and abandon everything they've worked so hard to salvage? At one point it feels like i'm wanted, and then the next it feels like i'm shunned. I was promised that i'd always have a friend in this person. and now this person won't even have the decency to tell me to leave them the hell alone. I pleaded with them to just tell me what they want me to do, I said i'd do anything, whether it be for me to talk or whether it be for me to never speak to them again, and I get NOTHING. It's the same thing every time. I get dragged back in with a few happy words from them, with the smallest hope that I can save something, and then I get silenced in every sense of the word, and then i'm slammed out again. Damn.
Now i'm tempted to go to where i know they'll be today, but at the same time it'd be pointless since apparently everyone is welcome there, but i'm being avoided so would it even matter if I went? Damn. DAMN.
I need to get my mind off of this. I was just starting to get better lastnight and i've been shot down out of the sky again. Give me something to draw guys. I dont care what. Anything but vent art. No more vent art. I just want to leave and I just want to draw. I dont care what it is. God dude. I need to stop crawling back but I just dont know how to quit. Whats wrong with me?
How the hell is that possible?
I'm just sick of being depressed and worried and ignored every single day while thinking i mustve done something horribly wrong, when in fact i've done nothing. This isn't about any of you on here, because you have been nothing but supportive and I can't thank you all enough for dealing with my whiny emo crap.. This is a really deep and corrupt issue that only my closest RL friends will know about fully, and that's how it's going to stay.
But how the hell does one just up and abandon everything they've worked so hard to salvage? At one point it feels like i'm wanted, and then the next it feels like i'm shunned. I was promised that i'd always have a friend in this person. and now this person won't even have the decency to tell me to leave them the hell alone. I pleaded with them to just tell me what they want me to do, I said i'd do anything, whether it be for me to talk or whether it be for me to never speak to them again, and I get NOTHING. It's the same thing every time. I get dragged back in with a few happy words from them, with the smallest hope that I can save something, and then I get silenced in every sense of the word, and then i'm slammed out again. Damn.
Now i'm tempted to go to where i know they'll be today, but at the same time it'd be pointless since apparently everyone is welcome there, but i'm being avoided so would it even matter if I went? Damn. DAMN.
I need to get my mind off of this. I was just starting to get better lastnight and i've been shot down out of the sky again. Give me something to draw guys. I dont care what. Anything but vent art. No more vent art. I just want to leave and I just want to draw. I dont care what it is. God dude. I need to stop crawling back but I just dont know how to quit. Whats wrong with me?
Yeah.. It's really tough but I guess i'm in a similar boat but i still dont know whether it's miscommunication or what. I dont know what they want, you know? And for me, how I work, i need an answer. I dont care if it's a good answer or a bad answer, i just need SOMETHING. if i get this silence it makes me crazy. it's a side of myself I hate and I dont want to see myself become. Bitter, paranoid, fearful.. I would rest easier just being put out of my misery rather than keeping me in this mental bear trap to suffer.
Thank you, for your kind words and for taking the time to comment here.
When I came back I was unable to find said person. Recently I had even tried to send PMs, but all goes unanswered. Well I began to really worry something was wrong. So I got incontact with a brother, and told me everything was fine, that he would forward my messege. My DA notes where read, shortly after, but never replied to.
So...I dont know...but..
I guess they don't want anything to do with me anymore. I really pains me, we where great friends. Even if it was online, it was pretty much every day contact, and I really enjoyed this person's company.
I still wonder what happened, but I have tried my best to move on with things...
I wish you the best <3
In my situation, i know they are active. social networking sites help in that knowledge. so do telephones. When I call, it rings. voicemail. I leave a message just asking how they are doing, and if they can call me back. nothing. I just dont understand what I did, you know? Because of this, I feel like i'm a bad person or a bad friend. I wonder if everyone thinks of me this way, you know? I wonder how many other people want to just ignore me sometimes.
I want to move on too, but i remember something they told me. this person is a free spirit and they go wherever the wind takes them. but they promised me they would stick around till after christmas for me, and so far they've stayed, but i dont know if its because of me. I bought them a christmas present.. I.. don't know what to do with it.. Should i just give it to them now and leave for good, or should I wait until christmas and see if they've stayed, or.. ._.
Thank you so much. For giving me something that I can relate to and knowing that i'm not the only one this has happened to with a close friend.
I never can let go of that kind of thing myself, even when I feel like the point of "no return" has came and went. The emotional parts of it never quite fade away. Sorry about that. I went through one of those myself recently and still I wonder to myself about it and such.
It really does things to a person! And it gets me seriously irritated to think that close friends/loved ones can do this to each other! Like, a simple explanation, well, maybe not "simple" but you get what I mean, would help ten times more than just being shunned.
Anyway, if it were me, I'd vent art some sorrow into your character to try and channel it out of yourself. That usually takes the burden off of me in a way. It also makes people wonder what your character is looking at. :)
Exactly what i'm saying. While it would hurt just as bad to have someone say "I hate you, i never want to talk to you again, so leave me alone", at least you know they dont want anything to do with you anymore. at least you've heard it from them and you can move on, or try to.
At this point, i just need something. Because at this point the only thing i could have done wrong was to try and love my friend for who they were and supported them in whatever they did. I spent money I didnt have and energy i could have used for other things, just confirming that they seemed like some amazing person who lifted me out of this blank state I was in and made me a better person. I try to thank them and I try to explain my feelings.. And in doing so, i'm being punished. I'm being ignored. I dont understand it.. I just dont understand.
I'd make vent art because it does help, but i'm afraid i've made too much of that already, you know? I dont want people to stop watching me based on all this vent art. :(
Thank you for all of your insight, I really appreciate you taking the time to type this out for me. :)
Welllll you could make your vent art happy, as in like drawing yourself doing what you would like to be doing. I'm not explaining it quite like what I'm thinking, but as an example: I would love to go travel places, so I would draw my character at places I would like to travel to, doing things I would do if I were there. You could draw yourself drawing vent art lol!
That might be something if you're into that. :)
wont wast yer time by going into it but I will say this, drop their ass. what kind of friend puts you through that kind of situation? may not be what you want to hear but it sounds like they are only pulling you along - - 's how they did me and was gullible to fall for it for two years till I said enough was enough. am not wanting to upset you only try and help you not make the same mistakes I did.
that being said I wish you the best my friend in whatever you decide to do :3 *offers you a hug*
It's just rough.. it'll resolve itself somehow, eventually, for better or worse. -hug-
Thank you for the reply, It really helps knowing I have friends here who don't mind offering their opinions.
hun, you'll drive yourself crazy trying to fix what's wrong, they've gotta want it too if not, well you see how it's going :/
may not want to hear this (please don't be mad at me am only trying to help my friend) but I think you should drop em :/ you'll find someone who wont treat as bad as they are
it's no trouble^ ^ bothers me someone's messing with you like that and screwing you over like that just because they can hope everything works out
don't think like that icy you ain't being a baby or a prick yer just a sensitive gal that wants to know that you matter to this person and aren't nothing in there eyes :/ it hurts man
what? so let me get this straight, you held out on them and they flat out drop you, even after all the time ya'll been together well you see what kind of person they are. it's them not you, you didn't do anythin' wrong it was their sorry asses that caused this not yers
*hugs tightly* you are better off my friend they would have only hurt you more or worse, you'll get used - - like I was
well if you ever wanna chat, need a shoulder or just wanna vent I'll be here my friend :3
I try to see the best in people no matter who they are or what theyve done but it always ends up hurting me worst in the end.
I'm just gonna go drink some coffee and feel sorry for myself for a few hours. I feel like playing in traffic but i'm smarter than that.
Thanks for all your help brah, I really appreciate the advice you've given. Thank you for being willing to help out even if I cant explain everything.
you are a rare sort icy this is why am interested in helping you so much, I don't want them to take that kindness and out look away from you and leave you an empty, angry husk like me :/ you don't deserve the same fate
don't do that icy :/ if you want we can chat? :3 give me a little time and my silliness will put a smile on that face :p
it is no trouble you are friend of mine and I wanted to help ^ ^ like I said I'd hate for you to lose that precious, fragile out look you have because of them and become bitter
it is no problem am sure you would do same for mine? :3
(sorry for any mispronounced words and any confusion :/ mine translator has been acting kind of screwy to day)
It's definitely a tough feeling to deal with. I know I sound like a broken record, but hang in there <3
Uhhhh... DRAW AN ADORABLE GIRAFFE WEARING A DELIGHTFUL SCARF. That is my solution.
I do not know what is going on other then you are very hurt.
I am sorry for that.
Wish I could help.