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Apparently Not Deceased
14 years ago
For more of your favorite Overlord please visit: http://heisyourleader.blogspot.com/
Hello? Is anyone still out there? This is your Overlord speaking. I am speaking to you from the far side of an Einstein-Rosen Bridge. Or rather, I am utilizing a highly advanced method of superluminal communication via wormhole: I'm shouting very loudly. I would like to report simply that I am not dead, merely existentially challenged, and that while I assume the zombies have largely overrun the planet in my absence, I am still The Overlord of Earth, I am still your leader. At least, I assume I am. I assume this message is being received in roughly the right timeframe so as to ensure its relevance. If it is being received in the distant future and you don't remember who I am it may behoove you to know that once I get back I'm just going to conquer you all over again. If this is being received in the distant past and you don't know who I am yet then I would dearly like to know where you got the technology to pick this up in the first place. If this message is, in fact, arriving during my reign and has, in fact, been received by an instance of myself then we may have just created a paradox and that may explain my current trans-dimensional jaunt. Though it is possible that the Black Hole Generator may also have something to do with it. If this message is not being received on Earth at all then I would like to say that I, for one, welcome you alien invaders, would ask that you forward this message to the proper solar system, and would like to inform you that you will be assimilated into my dominion. That is all.
I would like to report that your own report has been received and that your followers are not dead, merely response-challenged and that while I assume the zombies took a wrong turn and thus will encounter you rather than us, I am still some random guy and am thus not a proper individual to assist you should this scenario arise. At least, this is assuming that some threat is about to befall you. I assume this message is being received in roughly the right timeframe to assure its relevance, but I am making broad assumptions here.
If it is being received in the not-so-distant future and you are already either back or had to deal with varied threats then it may be best if you find someway of narrowing down the dimensions of time to allow a more precise transaction of information. If this is being received in the not-so-distant past, please ignore this communication and what it implies about your future for the sake of the continued stability of the space-time continuum.
In the event that this message has been discovered by others, parts of it are missing or it suddenly cuts out, please-
Oh dear, my zombies have accidentally stumbled into the wormholes in my absence? Those poor poor lost corpses...Though, this may be a blessing in disguise. Yes. If they do manage to reach me then I'll know which wormhole leads back to The Moonbase! I'll just have to slog through the blood and gore of my own army as I slaughter them to find my way back and all will be well. If they don't manage to find me then I suppose some other part of the universe will be experiencing a rather sudden zombie apocalypse sometime soon.
I will assume that I am receiving your message in roughly the right timeframe as it seems relevant to my current scenario. I will have to assume that it's referencing this particular instance of my being trapped in hyper-dimensional space and not a future instance, as this is the sort of thing that will inevitably happen to me again much to the dismay of many credible and slightly less than three incredible physicists.
I'm so terribly confused.
By the way, old Bill isn't trying to actually ride his motorcycle, is he? Last time he did that it took weeks to clean up, never mind waiting for the poor cows to heal.
And yes, I am afraid that Bill is attempting to ride his motorcycle. He seems to be doing pretty well so far though.
OW. I have just been struck in the back of the head by the zombie's head, which still appears to be falling, and appears to have changed trajectory several times in the process...