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not THAT bitter, but amused anyway . . . .
18 years ago
I wanted to write to tell you I'm still breathing,
To show you my fingers still bend.
I wanted to thank you for giving me something to be bitter about,
It's nice to be writing again
--Writing Again by We're About 9
I had an interesting experience today. I was shopping in the middle of the day at the store where I work overnights (had last night and tonight off so I was actually awake at 1pm). Now it was about the time I usually go to bed, true enough, but I had slept in and as actually feeling pretty good. However, I had three different people make remarks that amounted to "Good heavens, you look like crap." Not in those exact words, but things like "I hope your wife is driving, you look tired," said with a sweet smile on her face. Being me, I nodded and said I was just along because my sweetheart doesn't like going to the dentist and we had some painkillers to pick up at the pharmacy and sort of laughed it off, but I found myself taking stock of myself. Did I actually feel that bad. No. Then it occurred to me. These people usually saw me while I was actually working. Wound up tight like a clockwork doll.
One of the old Red Skelton bits I remember is a mime where he seems to turn his ear to make his tongue stick out and tighten the smile on his face. I have actually taken to exactly that gesture to paste a smile on my face before I go up to the registers when I clock in. It's sort of an inside joke for some of the folks that actually know more of the real me when they ask how I'm doing and I give my ear another crank and brighten the smile on my face a few more watts.
The folks that don't know me, of course, think I'm that freaking cheerful and energetic all the time. Extroversion is not natural for me, but I've been practicing for some twenty-some years. I went to school in a one-room school house in western Nebraska and, among many other benefits, everybody had a part in the Christmas play, no matter what your perceived level of "talent." And I discovered something interesting. I could do it, and I enjoyed it. I have been in one "customer service" job or another all my life and I do enjoy helping people. But the rest of the time? Let me curl up in a warm den (a good description of my work room) with a good book or a project and leave me the Hell ALONE
*smile* These folks at work don't know the me in dark glasses and my hood up, and as much as some would rage at a "world" that does not understand them . . . I think that comforts me somehow . . . .
To show you my fingers still bend.
I wanted to thank you for giving me something to be bitter about,
It's nice to be writing again
--Writing Again by We're About 9
I had an interesting experience today. I was shopping in the middle of the day at the store where I work overnights (had last night and tonight off so I was actually awake at 1pm). Now it was about the time I usually go to bed, true enough, but I had slept in and as actually feeling pretty good. However, I had three different people make remarks that amounted to "Good heavens, you look like crap." Not in those exact words, but things like "I hope your wife is driving, you look tired," said with a sweet smile on her face. Being me, I nodded and said I was just along because my sweetheart doesn't like going to the dentist and we had some painkillers to pick up at the pharmacy and sort of laughed it off, but I found myself taking stock of myself. Did I actually feel that bad. No. Then it occurred to me. These people usually saw me while I was actually working. Wound up tight like a clockwork doll.
One of the old Red Skelton bits I remember is a mime where he seems to turn his ear to make his tongue stick out and tighten the smile on his face. I have actually taken to exactly that gesture to paste a smile on my face before I go up to the registers when I clock in. It's sort of an inside joke for some of the folks that actually know more of the real me when they ask how I'm doing and I give my ear another crank and brighten the smile on my face a few more watts.
The folks that don't know me, of course, think I'm that freaking cheerful and energetic all the time. Extroversion is not natural for me, but I've been practicing for some twenty-some years. I went to school in a one-room school house in western Nebraska and, among many other benefits, everybody had a part in the Christmas play, no matter what your perceived level of "talent." And I discovered something interesting. I could do it, and I enjoyed it. I have been in one "customer service" job or another all my life and I do enjoy helping people. But the rest of the time? Let me curl up in a warm den (a good description of my work room) with a good book or a project and leave me the Hell ALONE
*smile* These folks at work don't know the me in dark glasses and my hood up, and as much as some would rage at a "world" that does not understand them . . . I think that comforts me somehow . . . .
I've enjoyed various aspects of my jobs, too, and the mask I put on has gotten closer to resembling my real face, but much of it is still an act... >^_^<
---
\"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?\"
HELL YES
er, that is, he has long been an inspiration for my entertaining improvisational performances . . . or something
Is it not wonderful that the 'real' us and the 'retail' us can be so at-odds with themselves? :)
This night shift stuff, though I adapt well, is a killer on my days off when I'm supposed to suddenly readjust to the world and sleep at night again for two whole days. By the way I was a huge fan of Red Skelton... the man who could make you laugh without the utterance of one dirty word.
I like the night shift for the very reason you mention - everyone (sort of) leaves me a lone. The 'stupid' factor of the people I work with is killing me stress wise. There is never a phone call to say - thank you, you did a bang up job, there is only the phone call that wakes you up and they say, 'oh... are you sleeping? I'm sorry, but you forgot to dot the i's on form such and such.
Hugs...
V.
*smiles...
then again... I'm rather tired of working for those who do not appreciate you in the least...
Catch 22 yes?
V.