As much as I've had the joy of facing this question by sheer experience, I'm still no closer to the answer as I was the first time. Allow me to elaborate: I've had that special kind of luck that has resulted in many, many people I've been close to over the years (everyone in my biological family I felt related to, for instance) dying fairly suddenly.

As of 12:58 AM EST (GMT -5:00), 13 November, 2011, this person was Blake Torin. His house had collapsed from the heavy snow that many on the east coast have had and he was caught inside. He was taken to the hospital, and at first glance I was told he would be alright. He was rushed into surgery within an hour, and there he died on the table; cardiac arrest due to hemorrhagic shock (to those without medical knowledge, he bled out).

Blake was not a fellow fur. He was a regular person, but he did so much to help those around him; even those like me, who live miles away. He and I were together briefly, a few years ago, for all of six weeks. In that time, he helped me begin breaking the habits I had developed. He held my hand and helped to guide me, even after we broke up. He was the first person I had been with who remained friends after splitting up, and continued to care for everyone as best he could. Over the years, he taught me that sex is not everything in a relationship. Love is, and that's the only thing that matters in the end. He taught me that everyone makes a difference, no matter how slight, and everyone is important to someone else. No matter who they are or what they've done.

One of the most important things he taught me, was that sometimes one must suffer, take one for the team, take the penalty for the sake of others. This lesson is one I have tried to adhere to for the sake of helping others. I have been trying for years to do it as he did, to take the pain for others in a way that reduces the pain others have to feel, and I haven't been entirely successful. I know that I have tried to force it (many times it needs to) and I have wound up causing more problems than I solve. But I will continue to try for the sake of others, and hope to someday be able to do as he did.

Through these few years I knew him, Blake was always very close to my heart for the person he was and the things he did. He was selfless and always considered what might happen to others when making a choice. He was truly my best friend and I will never forget him.

In his memory, I ask all of you out there who read this: think more of others than yourself. If you see someone in need, step in to lend that helping hand. Sometimes that's all it takes to change someone's life for the better. If you see a homeless person on the street, spare a little change or give them your jacket. If you see a little kid steal some food, pay for it for them. If someone's being mugged, step in (it might mean taking a knife or a bullet, but you might save someone's life). Or, best of all... If you know someone who's having a hard time dealing with something, be they a friend or a family member, show that you're there. Show that you care. Make sure they know they aren't alone.

To quote Blake when he first showed me this look on life: "Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on, an ear to listen and a voice to guide them at some time in their life. They may not show it, but providing these things to those in need will help immensely." I have never doubted these words, not once. And I have tried my best to be that shoulder, that ear, that voice wherever needed. Everyone has that capability. Everyone can be there for someone else. I want all of you to go out of your way today and be that shoulder, that ear, that voice.

I will continue to be these things for everyone I meet.

To everyone: Spread word of this. I don't want the attention, I don't want any drama. I just want others to know what Blake did in his life. I want him to be remembered as he deserves to be. Thank you.



In loving memory
Blake Torin
17 March, 1989 - 13 November, 2011
Requiescat in pace.

Now you're the angel you always were in life... I'll miss you.