Feeling pretty down lately. We didn't get a chance to pay the electric bill because of stuff going on. I don't know who's more responsible for us ending up in this mess.

We had the money but the landlord pressured BJ into paying him rent that week. So he gave him $20. That meant after gas for the week and paying the $20 we didn't have enough money for the electric bill. Then the bank started taking out NSF fees for not having enough in there for the electric bill. We had it planned out to pay it last week. Last week came up and after getting a little bit of food to try to hold us until this Saturday, getting me soap stuff and himself some art pens from Micheal's all with coupons, we had enough to pay the electric bill. Well the landlord came up pressuring Beej again and he gave in.

Tuesday we're looking at possibly losing our electric unless by some magic thing happens and we somehow manage to get the money. They sent us to Department of Social Services to get help. They said that sence the weather isn't dire that they would need stuff from a doctor saying I do have to take antidepressants and medications for high blood pressure or they couldn't help. We went to the ER where they diagnosed these things and we were informed they couldn't do it. Tried several other places I have seen doctors and then was told to try the food pantry we go to every three months. Beej went today and they said it wasn't a good time to ask.

I didn't ask for the stuff, but yes I wanted the soap stuff. I feel guilty and like it's all my fault that we're in this mess.