FA+
Shop
Out from the shadows; MFF
14 years ago
General
It's been a... different adventure.
It was never my intention to all but vanish from the fandom for the last five years, but he who does not attend cons or garner the attention of the crowd through other means of remaining relevant... well yeah, just kinda faded back into the shadows mostly (not that I'm against that).
It felt a little weird seeing people I hadn't talked to at all, literally in the last five years, and still just strike things up with them like we hadn't missed that much at all. That's kind of been the nutshell version of my presence in the fandom the last few years anyway. Things just got busy enough and real world stress had buried me to the point that I don't feel like I'm missing all that much by not being a personally active in furry as I used to be. There are some folks I would like to have said hello to that I have not officially met, but thought better of it as I don't expect to be back out east for a con anytime soon, hell it might be another 5 years the way my budget works (or barely works).
When I left FC after my meltdown a couple of years ago at FC, I was very much questioning what place I have in this fandom anymore. Going to MFF didn't particularly change that. I felt by Saturday that I was ready to leave, and I was. I'm not into the dances, the art, or the panels. I just went there to chill with friends and that's generally what I did. It's not some black and white "Oh I hate furry and I'm leaving the fandom forever" thing that people seem to like to make of it. I just don't fit in doing the things other folks there tend to like doing. That, in itself, is what makes it easier for me every time to feel less and less like I'm missing something by not being as active with cons. Personally I've run the course from feeling depressed after leaving cons to at this point feeling more like they're a burden on my time and relief for actually getting home...
Anyway, con report:
Left Tuesday after work to cut 160 miles off the trip, got to the condo at 10pm, set up an air mattress and slept four hours before heading out to BART in the east bay to make to to SFO for my flight. Things went smoothly with the travel, but it's a reminder of just how far from civilization I've actually moved to. I spent the first night at a Super8 with a kamikaze shuttle driver and a mattress that was a weeee bit bowed in the middle. There were also a couple of titty bars down the block so totally a choice place to stay. That being said it was the most comfortable bed I had on the trip, and they did have a really nice continental breakfast there too, which for $80 on short notice was a good place to stay.
Thursday I hooked up with the roomies and got things squared away in that respect. I spent most of the day just wandering and reconnecting with folks I haven't seen in a very long time. I did maybe half an hour to an hour of suiting in Crosscheck as a partial since I didn't bring the full suit. He was mostly ignored by those that didn't know him as the suit hasn't been seen in years. It was actually surprising to me how many people thought I'd gotten rid of him during my suit purging period a couple of years back. It's also kind of funny how people still identified me by the suits I used to have, but it just speaks to the only reference they would have of me I suppose. The day kind of blurred away quick just re-connecting.
Friday ended up much the same. There wasn't really much going on that I remember other than spending a ton of time with KC and Lomax just chatting since we haven't seen each other since AC 2003. Some confusion happened on the general skate time and I missed out on that which left me miffed, but I just wandered a bit in suit instead.
Saturday I was all geared up for the furry hockey thing. THIS time everyone made sure I was aware of the time, the only downside was we had to scramble for some gear for me to play with, but folks came through big time and I borrowed enough to play in the game (no cup though, so trusting my balls of steeeeeeel there). Everyone held their own and we had a good competitive game out of it. It was really relaxing and nice to just get away from the con and do something that helps me forget about, well, everything else. After that I came back feeling pretty beat though and I think con crud was settling in. I didn't catch wind of any parties and nobody got a hold of me for dinner so I killed a sandwich in the room and passed out at the old man time of like 11pm. Extra bonus fun was the roomies waking me up and asking a question of when I had gone to sleep and I just babbled something incoherent cause I wasn't awake enough to speak properly. Honestly the words were there in my head but just wouldn't reach my mouth!
Sunday was another slow day. By this point in the con I would've left if I had the choice. I just felt out of place there and wasn't really involved in much. I met up with KC though and we went next door to drool on the cars in the show there. They were having the Muscle Car and Corvette Nationals there. There were some really amazing cars there, including some 1 of 1s that I've never seen or heard of. Too much Dodge though and not enough Mustangs! I was kind of out of it on Sunday again and went back to the room to pass out early like I did Saturday. I was about to crawl into bed and then remembered it was dead dog night and I'm not over 40 sooooo I went back downstairs to just hang out and make sure I didn't fall asleep at a decent hour. I managed to hook up with some folks and chat some more. Blueneko bought me a few drinks but otherwise I didn't do much beyond casual drinking all weekend which is another change I've kind of stuck to at cons.
Monday went well enough, I managed to get a little bit more chatting in before my flight, but otherwise I was more than ready to head home with the way I've been feeling. The flight was uneventful and I managed to make it to the condo for another air stay with the air mattress before driving north this morning.
Overall it was an ok trip. I definitely invested too much time into it both for travel and just days where I had hoped for something to do and found nothing. Part of that was due to the bare bones, cobbled together budget I came up with though. I'm not going to tell you that I had some moment of grand revelation that inspires me to make this a regular thing in my life again, it just simply wasn't the raging bit of fun it used to be. I know some folks there don't want it to be another five years before they see me again, but it may very well just be. It's just something to have to deal with.
I'm not going to say I regret going. I'm also not going to say that I had such a fabulous time that it was a home run for me either. I've done long trip/ care shows where I felt better about the time invested and felt more comfortable than I did at the convention this weekend. We'll see how things play out when FC rolls around in a couple of months.
It was never my intention to all but vanish from the fandom for the last five years, but he who does not attend cons or garner the attention of the crowd through other means of remaining relevant... well yeah, just kinda faded back into the shadows mostly (not that I'm against that).
It felt a little weird seeing people I hadn't talked to at all, literally in the last five years, and still just strike things up with them like we hadn't missed that much at all. That's kind of been the nutshell version of my presence in the fandom the last few years anyway. Things just got busy enough and real world stress had buried me to the point that I don't feel like I'm missing all that much by not being a personally active in furry as I used to be. There are some folks I would like to have said hello to that I have not officially met, but thought better of it as I don't expect to be back out east for a con anytime soon, hell it might be another 5 years the way my budget works (or barely works).
When I left FC after my meltdown a couple of years ago at FC, I was very much questioning what place I have in this fandom anymore. Going to MFF didn't particularly change that. I felt by Saturday that I was ready to leave, and I was. I'm not into the dances, the art, or the panels. I just went there to chill with friends and that's generally what I did. It's not some black and white "Oh I hate furry and I'm leaving the fandom forever" thing that people seem to like to make of it. I just don't fit in doing the things other folks there tend to like doing. That, in itself, is what makes it easier for me every time to feel less and less like I'm missing something by not being as active with cons. Personally I've run the course from feeling depressed after leaving cons to at this point feeling more like they're a burden on my time and relief for actually getting home...
Anyway, con report:
Left Tuesday after work to cut 160 miles off the trip, got to the condo at 10pm, set up an air mattress and slept four hours before heading out to BART in the east bay to make to to SFO for my flight. Things went smoothly with the travel, but it's a reminder of just how far from civilization I've actually moved to. I spent the first night at a Super8 with a kamikaze shuttle driver and a mattress that was a weeee bit bowed in the middle. There were also a couple of titty bars down the block so totally a choice place to stay. That being said it was the most comfortable bed I had on the trip, and they did have a really nice continental breakfast there too, which for $80 on short notice was a good place to stay.
Thursday I hooked up with the roomies and got things squared away in that respect. I spent most of the day just wandering and reconnecting with folks I haven't seen in a very long time. I did maybe half an hour to an hour of suiting in Crosscheck as a partial since I didn't bring the full suit. He was mostly ignored by those that didn't know him as the suit hasn't been seen in years. It was actually surprising to me how many people thought I'd gotten rid of him during my suit purging period a couple of years back. It's also kind of funny how people still identified me by the suits I used to have, but it just speaks to the only reference they would have of me I suppose. The day kind of blurred away quick just re-connecting.
Friday ended up much the same. There wasn't really much going on that I remember other than spending a ton of time with KC and Lomax just chatting since we haven't seen each other since AC 2003. Some confusion happened on the general skate time and I missed out on that which left me miffed, but I just wandered a bit in suit instead.
Saturday I was all geared up for the furry hockey thing. THIS time everyone made sure I was aware of the time, the only downside was we had to scramble for some gear for me to play with, but folks came through big time and I borrowed enough to play in the game (no cup though, so trusting my balls of steeeeeeel there). Everyone held their own and we had a good competitive game out of it. It was really relaxing and nice to just get away from the con and do something that helps me forget about, well, everything else. After that I came back feeling pretty beat though and I think con crud was settling in. I didn't catch wind of any parties and nobody got a hold of me for dinner so I killed a sandwich in the room and passed out at the old man time of like 11pm. Extra bonus fun was the roomies waking me up and asking a question of when I had gone to sleep and I just babbled something incoherent cause I wasn't awake enough to speak properly. Honestly the words were there in my head but just wouldn't reach my mouth!
Sunday was another slow day. By this point in the con I would've left if I had the choice. I just felt out of place there and wasn't really involved in much. I met up with KC though and we went next door to drool on the cars in the show there. They were having the Muscle Car and Corvette Nationals there. There were some really amazing cars there, including some 1 of 1s that I've never seen or heard of. Too much Dodge though and not enough Mustangs! I was kind of out of it on Sunday again and went back to the room to pass out early like I did Saturday. I was about to crawl into bed and then remembered it was dead dog night and I'm not over 40 sooooo I went back downstairs to just hang out and make sure I didn't fall asleep at a decent hour. I managed to hook up with some folks and chat some more. Blueneko bought me a few drinks but otherwise I didn't do much beyond casual drinking all weekend which is another change I've kind of stuck to at cons.
Monday went well enough, I managed to get a little bit more chatting in before my flight, but otherwise I was more than ready to head home with the way I've been feeling. The flight was uneventful and I managed to make it to the condo for another air stay with the air mattress before driving north this morning.
Overall it was an ok trip. I definitely invested too much time into it both for travel and just days where I had hoped for something to do and found nothing. Part of that was due to the bare bones, cobbled together budget I came up with though. I'm not going to tell you that I had some moment of grand revelation that inspires me to make this a regular thing in my life again, it just simply wasn't the raging bit of fun it used to be. I know some folks there don't want it to be another five years before they see me again, but it may very well just be. It's just something to have to deal with.
I'm not going to say I regret going. I'm also not going to say that I had such a fabulous time that it was a home run for me either. I've done long trip/ care shows where I felt better about the time invested and felt more comfortable than I did at the convention this weekend. We'll see how things play out when FC rolls around in a couple of months.
Synthwolf
~synthwolf
Well hey man, I'm really glad it at least wasn't a total bust for you. For me, catching up with friends is at least half the appeal of a con. Anyway, it was great to finally meet you in person. Oh, and sorry about waking you up, you old fart
Crosscheck
~crosscheck
OP
That's ok. I speared you with a pillow for it later... or maybe I did that beforehand in an unmitigated attack.... actually I'm kind of curious if it was at all coherent what I said cause mostly it had that whole "juff five mo minufff maawm" feel to it before falling back to the pillow.
DarioMouse
~dariomouse
Hey there! It was nice seeing you again... hope to see you at FC!
