Thoughts of a very tired furson.

Ya know, its a really rude awakening when your tired, and in front of a computer screen. You just seem to melt away from your current agenda, and drift into the past, or think about the here and now.

Traversing through the internet, you stumble upon a comic strip, reading it, you come across a scene that reminds you of yourself in many more ways then you would want it to.

The way you push yourself away from other people becuase you feel that they wouldn't care about your true self, The way you live a lie, not being your self, and not being honest with those around you.

The way you put on a show, to try and make yourself look like someone or something that your not, in order to please those around you.

You sit in your chair, or on your stool, wishing that you had the courage, and the strength to make things right, to give up your little mascarade and just be yourself.

But deep down inside, you feel a tingling in your chest, a little pain, and discomfort.

You have had this little feeling many, many times, though you never stopped to realize what is, who it is, or why your having it.

Instead, you just let it go, despite your better judgement. You let it pass, and quickly, it fades away, to hide itself from the light of the day, to go back into its shelter deep in the confines of your inner core.

And yet, you still just sit there, wondering if the choices you made, the things you said, and the life you lead was worth the pain and the hurt that you live with now.

You sit there, Dwelling on things that you normally wouldn't think of, or give a moments time of thought within your brain.

You know who you are, what you are, who you really are, and what your feelings truly are. But you hide it all, You are afraid that these things isn't your true self. Your afraid that whats going on isn't what you really want out of life.

You think back to your past, the lies you told, the things you did, and you wonder if it was ever worth it, and what does the future hold for you and your past actions.

So you start to write down whats being played out within your mind, and you let your fingers and hands act on their own accord. Yet, you're still afraid that they will reveal a hidden secret that you don't want to know, or remember, Your afraid that your hand will betray your trust.

Yet you fail to see it, Don't you? its not your fingers or your hands that have betrayed your trust, No, it is You who have betrayed your self. It's not your fingers or your hands thats cuasing you to experiance these deep emotions, it's not your fingers that are typing what your feeling. It's your inner core trying to break through the walls of fear, anger, and mistrust that you have worked so hard to build, becuase you was afraid of what is on the inside.

You are afraid of what you might do, of what you might act like, of what you really are.

So why not just go with what you really want? Why are you so reluctant as to not comply with your inner self? Why must you always be the loner and keep away from people who may want to be your friends?

You sit in the back of class, you avoid eye contact with your classmates, you avoid saying anything to them, You smoke alone, your always alone.

I don't want to be alone, Harley, I want to be with friends, I want to have a good life, and your keeping me from it.

Why must you live like this? we both know its not good for you, and its hurting you in the long run.

Well, I guess we had our little talk for now, I best be off, I'm always here, I'm in your mind, alone, and waiting for the chance to talk. Look me up, we'll be having more chats soon.
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A odd conversation I had with myself this morning, call me crazy, call me what you want, but god damn this opens doors for me.