WEll, this is a journal that is really worthless

Yeah, so many things have happened, a certain dad of mine stalks my mom though things are already complicated enough, my brother finnally got deported...i knew it ws going to happen just didnt know when it would though, a close friend of mine the i used to hang out with is going over seas for 4 years ): had his going away party on saturday, and got left babysitting, didnt get any sleep that night. yeah, with all that sit going on, none of it affected me... until just recentlly, it just smacked me like a truck and it slowly started eating me away... relying on myself didnt help, cant rely on anyone else to help, people arent always gonna be around...and when people are around i dont want to burden them... thats why i hide behind masks, people seem to enjoy that half of me more, so many people perfer fake side more...thats why i really wonder if i can even retain friends when i jsut snap... but not like bitching about it isnt going to help, life goes on and people need to go on too.... no matter how bad things look
so yeah, people who talk to me still (numbers greatly reduced) few people knew how i felt... but its better not getting them dragged into this random shit, though i needed to vent