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GROW SOME BALLS COKE!
14 years ago
General
OK so i heard this last night and i hit the fucking roof!
Coca-cola released these awesome 'lil white cans for Christmas to help raise money to give polar bears a home!
i had one, they were goddamn adorable.
They have all been recalled because the big dumb fat diabetic cunts of the world united and in fucking unison screamed out:
WE CANT TELL WHETHER IT'S DIET COKE OR REGULAR COKE...THIS COULD HAVE KILLED US WAAAAHHHH and at this point i hope every comedian from 2, to Lewis Black just tears them new asshole and they feel so bad they go out and fucking drink a gallon of the shit and kill themselves god knows that's how they got where they are it he first place!
not only is it goddamn impossible for these people to see the obvious difference, or god forbid, READ THE GODDAMN CAN!
but ALSO, unless you're getting this out of a machine or RARELY in a gas station (since most of them only sell bottles now)
you still have to BUY the BIG RED FUCKING BOX! It's not often these things are sold individually! Did you think they put DIET COKE IN THE BIG RED FUCKING BOX YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT BECAUSE YOU'RE DIABETIC?!?! And coke just RECALLS THEM!
No
They don't man up and say "it's not our fault you're an idiot" like they should have...
They don't crank out that team of ball stomping lawyers they have stowed away in case someone uses their special font for anything to take these fatties to court and go IT'S NOT OUR FAULT YOU INHALE EVERYTHING IN YOUR HAND BY COLOR WITHOUT READING THE GODDAMN PRODUCT YOU'RE EATING!
no they went "Weee're soooo soorry!" and bent over and let them stick every one of those cute white polarbear coke cans up their ASS! AND I'm FUCKING SICK OF THOSE CATERING TO STUPID PEOPLE!
we should paint ARSENIC BLUE and put it in a pixie stick wrapper and have it say "DEADLY ARSENIC!" these idiots will just fucking snort it like COCAINE and then we'll be rid of them!
This is rampant all over America and this is why we can't hold ourselves together as a country!
Because the people with REAL problems go COMPLETELY ignored while the rest of the inbred Farmspawn and deep pocketed old farts and mentally Derped of the world can walk into this magical forum on the internet somewhere and go.... "MY FAT ASS CAN'T READ COKE CANS!" We should OUTLAW all coke cans that makes MY fat ass do anything but sit and INHALE IT! OR "WHY ISN'T MY IDIOT SON PASSING HIS CLASSES? Is it that I'm not doing my job as a parent? NO! it's the SCHOOL'S Fault! Shut DOWN the school and let all these kids rot in the bottom rung of society who never got a decent education! It's okay because NOW the standardized test scores for the other schools are up and that magically means our kids are smarter! " Does that mean our kids are smarter? no it means we SUBTRACTED THE DEAD WEIGHT TO MAKE THE NUMBERS JUMP! if you're going to do that then the only way for the numbers to make sense is to KILL THEM! wanna do that you dipshit? no? THEN BE A FUCKING PARENT AND TEACH YOUR FUCKING KIDS! Or my FAVORITE! "THIS CELEBRITY SAID SOMETHING ON FACEBOOK OR TV I DIDN'T LIKE!!! " CRUCIFY anyone who has something to say now... i remember when everyone had a sense of humor... now people are LOOKING to take offense at anything anyone says! "Holy Shitsnacks! He said "that's so gay" on his twitter! HES ANTI GAY!!!! Look fuckers.. i don't know WHO took over the homosexual community and is making these public outcries to ALIENATE them from everyone else in the guise of cutting out intolerance.. but STOP... it's just making people dislike gay people as a whole! I grew up in a loving home with 2 gay parents in one side and a mother on the other! and my stepdad on dad's side INVENTED "that's so gay" Trey Parker and Matt Stone did an ENTIRE BIT on how people overreact to words that have no malice to them whatsoever! (the southpark episode with the bikers being called Fag...) What's the moral? IF SOMEONES USING A WORD YOU CLAIM TO MEAN SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT IT TO MEAN IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY HATE YOU! JESUS!
The Troy MI bitch who said she hated NY cause they let "queers marry" yeah.. THAT'S offensive! and she's being given a fucking public pardon..but Bret Ratner said "that's so gay" and he's kicked out of the Oscars? Tracey Morgan makes a joke about how he doesn't want his son to be gay and he's on the fucking chopping block? COME ON it's standup comedy! Have we FORGOTTEN that the gay community is pretty much the BLOOD of the entertainment community? These guys WROTE half these jokes and now SOMEHOW the gay community finds these offensive? i don't buy it! something's up.. and My dads agree with me!
Well i for one would like to storm this magical forum like a Normandy beach and eliminate these people who have our New's and Government's attention on STUPID FUCKING SHIT! and direct them to REAL issues like NOT letting SOPA and NDAA pass! Like outlining the problems with how our system works!
Fat people can bitch about white coke cans but hundreds of us want to not DIE walking to work in Atlanta and we're just pushed aside!
Well to back up my last journal
I don't want to live on this planet anymore!
This is Varry...
Respectfully Imitating 2 your Diabetic Ranting griffon
and that's all i have to say about that!
Coca-cola released these awesome 'lil white cans for Christmas to help raise money to give polar bears a home!
i had one, they were goddamn adorable.
They have all been recalled because the big dumb fat diabetic cunts of the world united and in fucking unison screamed out:
WE CANT TELL WHETHER IT'S DIET COKE OR REGULAR COKE...THIS COULD HAVE KILLED US WAAAAHHHH and at this point i hope every comedian from 2, to Lewis Black just tears them new asshole and they feel so bad they go out and fucking drink a gallon of the shit and kill themselves god knows that's how they got where they are it he first place!
not only is it goddamn impossible for these people to see the obvious difference, or god forbid, READ THE GODDAMN CAN!
but ALSO, unless you're getting this out of a machine or RARELY in a gas station (since most of them only sell bottles now)
you still have to BUY the BIG RED FUCKING BOX! It's not often these things are sold individually! Did you think they put DIET COKE IN THE BIG RED FUCKING BOX YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BOUGHT BECAUSE YOU'RE DIABETIC?!?! And coke just RECALLS THEM!
No
They don't man up and say "it's not our fault you're an idiot" like they should have...
They don't crank out that team of ball stomping lawyers they have stowed away in case someone uses their special font for anything to take these fatties to court and go IT'S NOT OUR FAULT YOU INHALE EVERYTHING IN YOUR HAND BY COLOR WITHOUT READING THE GODDAMN PRODUCT YOU'RE EATING!
no they went "Weee're soooo soorry!" and bent over and let them stick every one of those cute white polarbear coke cans up their ASS! AND I'm FUCKING SICK OF THOSE CATERING TO STUPID PEOPLE!
we should paint ARSENIC BLUE and put it in a pixie stick wrapper and have it say "DEADLY ARSENIC!" these idiots will just fucking snort it like COCAINE and then we'll be rid of them!
This is rampant all over America and this is why we can't hold ourselves together as a country!
Because the people with REAL problems go COMPLETELY ignored while the rest of the inbred Farmspawn and deep pocketed old farts and mentally Derped of the world can walk into this magical forum on the internet somewhere and go.... "MY FAT ASS CAN'T READ COKE CANS!" We should OUTLAW all coke cans that makes MY fat ass do anything but sit and INHALE IT! OR "WHY ISN'T MY IDIOT SON PASSING HIS CLASSES? Is it that I'm not doing my job as a parent? NO! it's the SCHOOL'S Fault! Shut DOWN the school and let all these kids rot in the bottom rung of society who never got a decent education! It's okay because NOW the standardized test scores for the other schools are up and that magically means our kids are smarter! " Does that mean our kids are smarter? no it means we SUBTRACTED THE DEAD WEIGHT TO MAKE THE NUMBERS JUMP! if you're going to do that then the only way for the numbers to make sense is to KILL THEM! wanna do that you dipshit? no? THEN BE A FUCKING PARENT AND TEACH YOUR FUCKING KIDS! Or my FAVORITE! "THIS CELEBRITY SAID SOMETHING ON FACEBOOK OR TV I DIDN'T LIKE!!! " CRUCIFY anyone who has something to say now... i remember when everyone had a sense of humor... now people are LOOKING to take offense at anything anyone says! "Holy Shitsnacks! He said "that's so gay" on his twitter! HES ANTI GAY!!!! Look fuckers.. i don't know WHO took over the homosexual community and is making these public outcries to ALIENATE them from everyone else in the guise of cutting out intolerance.. but STOP... it's just making people dislike gay people as a whole! I grew up in a loving home with 2 gay parents in one side and a mother on the other! and my stepdad on dad's side INVENTED "that's so gay" Trey Parker and Matt Stone did an ENTIRE BIT on how people overreact to words that have no malice to them whatsoever! (the southpark episode with the bikers being called Fag...) What's the moral? IF SOMEONES USING A WORD YOU CLAIM TO MEAN SOMETHING YOU DON'T WANT IT TO MEAN IT DOESN'T MEAN THEY HATE YOU! JESUS!
The Troy MI bitch who said she hated NY cause they let "queers marry" yeah.. THAT'S offensive! and she's being given a fucking public pardon..but Bret Ratner said "that's so gay" and he's kicked out of the Oscars? Tracey Morgan makes a joke about how he doesn't want his son to be gay and he's on the fucking chopping block? COME ON it's standup comedy! Have we FORGOTTEN that the gay community is pretty much the BLOOD of the entertainment community? These guys WROTE half these jokes and now SOMEHOW the gay community finds these offensive? i don't buy it! something's up.. and My dads agree with me!
Well i for one would like to storm this magical forum like a Normandy beach and eliminate these people who have our New's and Government's attention on STUPID FUCKING SHIT! and direct them to REAL issues like NOT letting SOPA and NDAA pass! Like outlining the problems with how our system works!
Fat people can bitch about white coke cans but hundreds of us want to not DIE walking to work in Atlanta and we're just pushed aside!
Well to back up my last journal
I don't want to live on this planet anymore!
This is Varry...
Respectfully Imitating 2 your Diabetic Ranting griffon
and that's all i have to say about that!
Also, give my senator Ron Wyden (D-OR) filibuster material by having him say your name during his filibuster of PIPA (PROTECT IP Act). I certainly did: http://stopcensorship.org
It would certainly help weed out the morons of the world, and raise the overall intelligence of the populace.
But noooo, we have to be civilized. Damnit!