Ugh, I know what you mean, to an extent at least. I'm really no good at reaching out to people (I'm terribly antisocial and I feel like it makes me a terrible friend because my friends don't realize how much they mean to me), but people will constantly come to me when they need someone to listen to their troubles. I'm like the official shoulder to cry on for a few people; if they really need me at any hour (assuming I'm awake), I'll drop everything and listen. But the second everything's okay in their life? I don't exist. It's kind of dehumanizing. I feel like an object, not a person.
Buuut now I'm venting on your vent.
Few things are as confusing as people who say they care but never show it. I guess all I can really suggest is letting them know how you feel. Let them know that they're confusing you and that you don't know what to think anymore. Though that's easier said than done, of course :/

THAT VIDEO <3

Nonononono, vent on my vent all you like! I have no trouble with others expressing how they feel, especially if they are in a similar situation.

Yeah, i'm that way too, when it comes to friends or people I know. I am a bit on the antisocial side although i've been trying to get better about that, but everytime I meet someone new the same things usually happen. We're pals, we do a ton of stuff together, I make or buy them things and take them places, i never existed.

Its been explained to me by them, that they dont know what they want in life and they are trying to figure everything out. They are confused, etc. I tell them i'm always willing to listen, we'll go for a drive and stuff, but we dont really talk about it. and then they'll disappear for days on end, and if and when they do come back, its like nothing ever happened.

The reason that i'm so upset about it now, is because i dropped all my plans for the week to go on a huge road trip with them because they implied they wanted to. We talked about it on sunday and monday. I told them i'd meet up with them at a coffee shop on tuesday, so i went there in the morning and stayed until it was late in the afternoon.. nothing. tried calling. phone off. tried emailing. no reply. then i look at status updates of their friends and I guess things are going great for them. :|

I just.. At this point, part of me says "get away, and dont ever talk to them again." but the other half.. i've invested so much time and loyalty to this person. I care too much. I just just forget about them, you know? But at the same time I dont want to come trotting back like some puppy if they call me, because it will likely happen again the same way.

Worst part is i've told them how i feel in regards to them disappearing.. i tell them it worries me. and they just say "don't worry about me, i can take care of myself. it's what i do. when i need to be alone, i disconnect from everyone." but if that were the case, why dont they disconnect from their other friends, too?

I feel like such a loser, dude. ;;


Haha, I found that video and it made me laugh, so I thought i'd share it with my watchers. Glad you like it. ^^ <3 and thank you for replying.

That's totally lame that they did that... You should definitely confront them about that, because having you drive up and wait around for them just for them to not show up is not fair. I think you need to find some middle ground between the go-away-forever option and the come-running-back-like-a-puppy option. I see nothing wrong with being a bit more distant: Don't feel the need to initiate contact as much, hesitate to make plans/visits unless they bring up the idea first, etc. I know it can be really hard to do this with someone you really care about, but friendship is give and take. You can't be expected to give all of the time if they never give anything back. It might sound like some sort of immature high school mind game to act distant just to get a point across/to see if they notice, but you've already tried to talk about it with them to no avail.

Ugh, it really is a terrible feeling when people treat you that way, but just remember you're not the loser here. If they don't realize what a great friend they're pushing away, then they're the only loser in this situation, not you!

Well, that's the thing.. most of our communication anymore is missed communication. I mean, I emailed them about going, so I don't even know if they got it in time. the only reason i think they did is because they usually check their messages, they just never really reply to 'em unless they feel like it.

I've been given a lot of great advice about this situation from one of my other friends, and what she told me to do is similar to your advice. So it's good advice.. great advice.. I just need to take it i guess. It is hard finding a comfortable medium. I know I can be clingy with friends sometimes, but mostly this happens because i can't ever get a hold of them and I get worried. This is one of those cases; apparently the friend's phone went missing or was stolen and so they don't have a way to contact people other than internet. and when they dont return my messages for days or even weeks at a time, I start thinking the worst.

I guess I just wont bother trying to contact them anymore. I've tried reaching out so many times only to be shot down continually. It's hard when a friend isn't verbally mean or rude to you but their actions, whether they know it or not, end up being more hurtful than any word ever could.

Thank you so much dear, you truly are a gem.

No problem. I hope your friend comes to their senses and realizes how badly they're treating you :C

they ended up leaving some big-ass explanation about why they didnt reply to me at all. But their excuses weren't really relevant to the situation so I just told them good luck, and that i was done trying to get through to them, so next time they ever want to talk they have to come to me, not the other way around. :/

Very well stated. I hope this is a wake up call for them.

-gives much catnip-
Don't let it get to you too much, think of it this way: you've learned something about thay person, and in the future you know what is and isn't worth the effort with them.
I dunno what other people think, but I've always noticed that when you have to push yaself and try hard to be friends, often that's because they arn't being a friend to you x:
And heck, at least you tried!