This is more an explination on why I haven't answered people about commissions or in general talked. Yesterday morning my dog had to be put down, it was that or be selfish and make him suffer more just so I could avoid the world I'm in now. Every time I get up from the computer I check the floor first thinking he's there, it's to the point where I get excited if a shoe touches my foot .. thinking it's him laying down. I didn't want to be there when they did it but my grandmother had a point about not letting him die alone. Still, every time I close my eyes all I see is his limp body on the table and no matter how much I pet him he doesn't move. I haven't been this depressed in a long time and I don't know when or even if I will get over it. The only good thing is he doesn't have to suffer anymore, otherwise this the shittiest christmas ever. I know what I want and I know it'll never happen, I'll get back to those who I've talked to about having work done when I'm more emotionally stable. Right now I just need some alone time to at least make an attempt at healing.