I'm analytical. I've always known that. I've always assumed that I don't enjoy things as much as other people do because, say, when I'm watching a movie I'm analyzing the cuts and camera work in relation to the score and pacing and composition and feel and dialog and emotion whereas other people are just watching the movie.

During my jog today I realized, "wait, what if that's just my WAY of enjoying it? It's just different." All these past years feeling like I'm only getting half as much out of life as other people are because I can't relax and enjoy something as simple as a photo without mentally writing an analysis of the use of composition and color. Maybe that's NOT holding me back. Maybe I'm just enjoying things from my perspective rather than a set defined method of consumption.

I don't know if all that's true, but assuming it is, that bodes poorly for relating to other people. I may enjoy objects but this method doesn't exactly fit well with socializing with other people. Next up I'd like to place an order for an epiphany as to why no one ever notices me IRL, please.

After four miles of jogging today the brain started to wander. To an old friend. Someday, maybe I'll ask them out on a date. Mhm. My brain liked that idea. Eat some delicious hamburgers. Walk in the dark afterward holding paws. Maybe squeeze in a hug. That'd be pleasant. Squeeze in a hug toward the end, maybe go in for a kiss by... doing... uhm... Awr dammit c'mon brain why can't I even imagine it happening to me?

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EDIT: Youtube of the now.