1. Are you single or taken?
Single, you dick.

2. Chocolate or flowers?
Both, more flowers than chocolate

3. Will you do anything special for Valentines Day?
Feel slightly less motivated to get out of bed.

4.Do you like anyone?
Only a few. Everyone else can piss off.

5. Were you dating anyone last Valentines?
No.

6. What would be your dream Valentines date?
Boyfriend. Perfect. Having fun and sex, only the boyfriend will actually stay with me afterwards.

7. Do you make a big deal about Valentines?
Like all single people do, I protest it.

8. Have you ever had a secret admirer?
We call those stalkers today, and no.

9. Would you ever write someone a love letter?
I'm belligerant enough to do it.

10. Do you believe in Cupid?
Might as well.

11. Do your parents give you presents on Valentines?
I refuse to let them.

12. Do you still send out Valentines cards?
Bite my shiny, metal ass.

13. Do you like candy hearts?
You mean the legal acid?

15. Is Valentines depressing?
Does a bear shit in the woods?

16. How do you feel about PDA?
Pissing Due Airborne?

17. How is your love life?
Fucked. Up.

18. Have you ever been dumped on Valentines?
That's like a kick in the crotch.

19. How many roses would you want?
Enough.

20. Will you have a boyfriend/girlfriend next Valentines?
I only hope so.


VALENTINE'S DAY - A PERFECT STORM OF EMO