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All I want for Christmas.
13 years ago
I'm not a Christmas guy. I'm not a "it's the season" kind of guy. I think this is known, in my close circle. I damn well know this is known within my family. It's an odd season. I love booze. I'm VERY particular about the beer that I drink. Once again, this is known. It doesn't matter; I'm drunk, and I'm stating it. And that's that.
Cooper mentioned some things about "the season" earlier. It's strange how much these things change.
Okay, maybe I'm a prick. I don't buy things for people during "the season." Actually, I never have. I don't think I have, anyway. I talked to my girlfriend at some length about this; it's not a terrible trait, I suppose. My family is... Well, odd. We're a strange bunch. My father is 40 years older than I, but we're peas in a pod. He's losing his grip on reality, but he's also seen a lot of what he's worked for disappear. That doesn't matter, really. I graduated high school and fell off the face of the earth. My parents divorced while I was in high school, my cousin killed himself a year prior, a long distance relationship I made the world of disintegrated, and I tried the suicide route, ending up in a psychiatric hospital. I recovered. Ever since I hit the bottom of my reality, I've been rebuilding my mind. I've explored and mastered a number of different professional avenues, and left most of them behind. But that doesn't matter.
I don't want anything for Christmas. I feel awkward when I receive gifts, even from people I know and love. Fortunately, my family isn't into the gift thing. My father and I argue incessantly, regardless of season. I know I'll miss him when he's gone; he's the only person, other than my dead cousin, whom I've ever known that was anything like me. But thank whatever for the gift thing. Nothing in five years.
My mother wants to give, but she has no idea what to give. And I tell her not to. That usually works.
My brothers, they don't care. Neither do I, so it works. Scott and I do psychodelic drugs a couple of times a year; those instances bring us closer together than any gift possibly could.
I guess that's the reason for the season. My family is nearly gone, and I'm obsessed with the few who are still alive. I haven't lived with them for years, but I can't get over them. I never will. I know this will be another contentious Christmas, but that's half the fun. That's the greatest gift I'll ever receive; being considered an intellectual equal, in my father's and mother's eyes, despite the fact that I'm a baseless, vicious bastard. Christopher Hitchens is dead; against my better desires, I can't help but be the piece of shit that spits on our Christmas supper.
I don't want anything, from anyone. Ever. I cannot tell you why. But I reject those things like mismatched limbs. The only thing that I desire from other people is their company and camaraderie on this too-brief journey we enjoy through the void; and that I've had, and cannot replace. I'm extremely confused by this life. And I hope that I'll never understand it.
Merry Christmas. We'll all be okay.
Cooper mentioned some things about "the season" earlier. It's strange how much these things change.
Okay, maybe I'm a prick. I don't buy things for people during "the season." Actually, I never have. I don't think I have, anyway. I talked to my girlfriend at some length about this; it's not a terrible trait, I suppose. My family is... Well, odd. We're a strange bunch. My father is 40 years older than I, but we're peas in a pod. He's losing his grip on reality, but he's also seen a lot of what he's worked for disappear. That doesn't matter, really. I graduated high school and fell off the face of the earth. My parents divorced while I was in high school, my cousin killed himself a year prior, a long distance relationship I made the world of disintegrated, and I tried the suicide route, ending up in a psychiatric hospital. I recovered. Ever since I hit the bottom of my reality, I've been rebuilding my mind. I've explored and mastered a number of different professional avenues, and left most of them behind. But that doesn't matter.
I don't want anything for Christmas. I feel awkward when I receive gifts, even from people I know and love. Fortunately, my family isn't into the gift thing. My father and I argue incessantly, regardless of season. I know I'll miss him when he's gone; he's the only person, other than my dead cousin, whom I've ever known that was anything like me. But thank whatever for the gift thing. Nothing in five years.
My mother wants to give, but she has no idea what to give. And I tell her not to. That usually works.
My brothers, they don't care. Neither do I, so it works. Scott and I do psychodelic drugs a couple of times a year; those instances bring us closer together than any gift possibly could.
I guess that's the reason for the season. My family is nearly gone, and I'm obsessed with the few who are still alive. I haven't lived with them for years, but I can't get over them. I never will. I know this will be another contentious Christmas, but that's half the fun. That's the greatest gift I'll ever receive; being considered an intellectual equal, in my father's and mother's eyes, despite the fact that I'm a baseless, vicious bastard. Christopher Hitchens is dead; against my better desires, I can't help but be the piece of shit that spits on our Christmas supper.
I don't want anything, from anyone. Ever. I cannot tell you why. But I reject those things like mismatched limbs. The only thing that I desire from other people is their company and camaraderie on this too-brief journey we enjoy through the void; and that I've had, and cannot replace. I'm extremely confused by this life. And I hope that I'll never understand it.
Merry Christmas. We'll all be okay.
Have a good Christmas.
you have no idea the laughs you caused at FurFright with the mangled money
I'll remember the night Cooper dropped off his car at Badger's forever (I still have my thoriated rod)
Every time Gourd does something funny I'll think of you
And I literally barely know you, but you bring me tremendous lightness of heart. Don't underestimate yourself for just being yourself :)