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my best Christmas present
14 years ago
General
The holidays have been great for me so far. I've been in Florida with family. Last night something happened that gave me peace of mind and relief about recent trouble, (along with a warning, though, of possible difficulty ahead.)
Since I increased my Paxil (an SSRI anti-depressant) dosage a few weeks ago I've been feeling better and better. The irrationality I was experiencing has gone away too.
Well I accidentally just gave myself an unexpected Christmas present. Yesterday I forgot to take the pill. I realized this when I went to sleep. Just now I woke up from the most violent nightmare I've ever had. (Once I discovered I was dreaming I had to slash to pieces the bodies of children in order to escape and wake myself up!) Now I'm dizzy and the world seems to be moving back and forth. These and the other mental states mentioned here are all known side effects of Paxil withdrawl, as I now know.
Right before I started writing this I decided to Google "Paxil" and "nightmare". Wow! Do this yourself if you think I'm jumping to any conclusions below. - Quickly arriving at some answers isn't the same. Anyway, I need to find a way off of this stuff!
Over the last two months, before I increased my dosage, I became a lax in taking it and my schedule of when I did became completely random. (During my recent appointment my doctor told me that not being consistent with the time I take it can have great effects.)
The reason for my increase was a severe depression, in combination with the following apparently common withdrawal symptoms: irrationality (...just ask my room mate and a few select friends.) mood swings, suicidal thoughts (Though not "advanced" these were persistent.)
Also, I've not been able to sleep much or for long for quite a while. I ran out of Aderall several weeks ago. (I now have to refill maintenance medication with a mail-order pharmacy that my insurance company contracted with. It takes three weeks to get pills now.) After the typical few days of trouble staying awake, I thought it odd that the insomnia I had credited to that drug had returned.
Things are starting to click now. ...and I haven't even clicked on any of the links Google gave me.
About ten years ago I was experiencing some muscle pain that was unexplained. My GP and I thought that a likely cause was work related stress. (There was a lot at the time but I liked that it focused me at work and I had thought I wasn't bringing it home with me.) To make a long story short, it turns out that stress wasn't the cause for the pain. However before I knew this I went on Paxil, which was supposed to help. (off label?) It made me too happy. It was exactly like the Ren and Stimpy episode with the happy helmet. Well, as I titrated off, I became easily angered. That's significant since I am the most hard to anger person I've even heard of.
...so, I have a lot to research. It makes me happy to have gained some insight into what's been going on. However my doctor and I might have a rough time ahead. I noticed mention of a class action suit and Paxil withdrawal "success stories" and support groups. Before things went sour a few months ago, I was happier than I had been in a long time. At this point it's hard to know if I would be depressed without some sort of treatment, but I don't think my continuing with Paxil is a good idea.
I'm not even going to edit this for crammer. I wrote this very fast but things are so clear right now. I'll email it from my phone to mom's computer, spell check, post, and see if I can get a little more sleep.
Happy Holidays to all!
Since I increased my Paxil (an SSRI anti-depressant) dosage a few weeks ago I've been feeling better and better. The irrationality I was experiencing has gone away too.
Well I accidentally just gave myself an unexpected Christmas present. Yesterday I forgot to take the pill. I realized this when I went to sleep. Just now I woke up from the most violent nightmare I've ever had. (Once I discovered I was dreaming I had to slash to pieces the bodies of children in order to escape and wake myself up!) Now I'm dizzy and the world seems to be moving back and forth. These and the other mental states mentioned here are all known side effects of Paxil withdrawl, as I now know.
Right before I started writing this I decided to Google "Paxil" and "nightmare". Wow! Do this yourself if you think I'm jumping to any conclusions below. - Quickly arriving at some answers isn't the same. Anyway, I need to find a way off of this stuff!
Over the last two months, before I increased my dosage, I became a lax in taking it and my schedule of when I did became completely random. (During my recent appointment my doctor told me that not being consistent with the time I take it can have great effects.)
The reason for my increase was a severe depression, in combination with the following apparently common withdrawal symptoms: irrationality (...just ask my room mate and a few select friends.) mood swings, suicidal thoughts (Though not "advanced" these were persistent.)
Also, I've not been able to sleep much or for long for quite a while. I ran out of Aderall several weeks ago. (I now have to refill maintenance medication with a mail-order pharmacy that my insurance company contracted with. It takes three weeks to get pills now.) After the typical few days of trouble staying awake, I thought it odd that the insomnia I had credited to that drug had returned.
Things are starting to click now. ...and I haven't even clicked on any of the links Google gave me.
About ten years ago I was experiencing some muscle pain that was unexplained. My GP and I thought that a likely cause was work related stress. (There was a lot at the time but I liked that it focused me at work and I had thought I wasn't bringing it home with me.) To make a long story short, it turns out that stress wasn't the cause for the pain. However before I knew this I went on Paxil, which was supposed to help. (off label?) It made me too happy. It was exactly like the Ren and Stimpy episode with the happy helmet. Well, as I titrated off, I became easily angered. That's significant since I am the most hard to anger person I've even heard of.
...so, I have a lot to research. It makes me happy to have gained some insight into what's been going on. However my doctor and I might have a rough time ahead. I noticed mention of a class action suit and Paxil withdrawal "success stories" and support groups. Before things went sour a few months ago, I was happier than I had been in a long time. At this point it's hard to know if I would be depressed without some sort of treatment, but I don't think my continuing with Paxil is a good idea.
I'm not even going to edit this for crammer. I wrote this very fast but things are so clear right now. I'll email it from my phone to mom's computer, spell check, post, and see if I can get a little more sleep.
Happy Holidays to all!
Peace love and apple pie to all!
I'm feeling better than I have in awhile - and all I'm doing is trying to get more exercise, a better diet, and more time outside.
That being said, that's me - and obviously what works for me might not work for you...but unlike those medicines, there's no harm to be done by getting more exercise, eating more fresh fruits and vegetables, and spending more time outdoors relaxing.