...think back and talk to me;
did I grow up according to plan?

And do you think I'm wasting my time
Doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove
All along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that I'm alright
And you can't change me

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry, I can't be perfect...



I wish Mom were alive for times like this, when Dad is being controlling and completely unreasonable. I HATE being treated like I'm 14 because Mom's not around to remind Dad that Kiersten and I have to grow up SOMETIME and that we can't be prisoners of the house and his rules FOREVER.

I understand that he is trying to look out for us and everything, but... I need my breathing room, and I feel like I'm being smothered.


I shouldn't have to lie and cheat and be dishonest all the time just so I can have a life outside these four walls.

And I should be able to talk to him, but HE NEVER LISTENS. It's always his way, or nothing at all.

I keep trying to do what he asks to get him happy enough to try to talk to him for more than 10 minutes without him bitching about something I'm not doing right or well enough, but I never manage to get ahead. There's always SOMETHING I'm doing that's pissing him off. I'm never good enough. I'm always some kind of failure or letdown.


He's threatened to kick me out over stupid shit like not doing the dishes (despite me being at work like... almost anytime I'm not sleeping).

Living with him is stressing me out WAY more than I need, so I'm definitely bringing up the moving thing with him soon (I've been waiting till I get some things around the house taken care of so that he has less to bitch at me about when I bring it up). I still stand by my original plan, and that's to only be in Atlanta for a year, just so Dad doesn't think that I'm leaving for good and start throwing my shit out, or demanding that I take ALL my shit with me.

I'm sorry, but I'm tired of asking for permission to live my life. I've been a good daughter, and I've let myself be pushed around, and I'm tired of it. I'm not going to keep hurting myself just to survive under this roof.




Yes, I still do that, because I HAVE to.


Looks like I'm just another emo kid.