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Here we are again...
14 years ago
General
I stand by what I said in my last journal -- that I've made a bit of progress in my personal life and that I hold that as a net positive. But, I also have to admit that I outright failed in every goal I set for myself two years ago. From a journal I posted here back in 2009, I accomplished nothing that I wanted to do, and made no progress in any aspect of my life that I had wanted to advance.
I just finished watching BBF's videos from AC2011, which are exceptionally well done I might add, and it made me realize just how bad it is. One of my big goals was to actually be able to perform in fursuit. I try desperately, but when I'm on the spot, I draw a blank. So, instead of being a performer, I end up just being a guy in a furred suit. I acquired a fursuit because I wanted to perform and have fun with it, but for the three years I've owned my suit, I have yet to learn how to actually use it. I've made excuses for myself, and I've told myself that I'll do better next time, but I haven't. So, with New Year's just around the corner, I'll do it. I'll make this one of my resolutions. Next Anthrocon, I'm going to attend those panels for fursuit performance. I can't learn it on my own. I know I've tried, but I can't. I need help.
I'm also in need of improvement with my photography. Thanks to some upgraded equipment and software, my photos have never looked better. They've also never been more boring. I never challenge my subjects to do a dramatic pose, look cute, or really do anything. I have this "click-and-go" methodology to my photo work and it comes out as junk. I'm like the photo equivalent of McDonald's. I hate that. I push myself so hard to grab as many photos as I can, of as many different fursuits as I can find. And I get precisely what I work for - thousands of photos that are indistinguishable from one another, save for the subject in them. This was also something I swore I'd change last year but I failed in it. There's nothing at AC that can help me there, but it's something I have to keep in mind. I need better photos, not more photos.
This past AC I almost took 2,000 photos (950 on Friday alone). The number of photos I've taken each year I've attended Anthrocon has steadily risen. I think it would be best for me to reverse that trend. Next year I want to take half as many photos, but I want each one of them to be truly memorable.
I just finished watching BBF's videos from AC2011, which are exceptionally well done I might add, and it made me realize just how bad it is. One of my big goals was to actually be able to perform in fursuit. I try desperately, but when I'm on the spot, I draw a blank. So, instead of being a performer, I end up just being a guy in a furred suit. I acquired a fursuit because I wanted to perform and have fun with it, but for the three years I've owned my suit, I have yet to learn how to actually use it. I've made excuses for myself, and I've told myself that I'll do better next time, but I haven't. So, with New Year's just around the corner, I'll do it. I'll make this one of my resolutions. Next Anthrocon, I'm going to attend those panels for fursuit performance. I can't learn it on my own. I know I've tried, but I can't. I need help.
I'm also in need of improvement with my photography. Thanks to some upgraded equipment and software, my photos have never looked better. They've also never been more boring. I never challenge my subjects to do a dramatic pose, look cute, or really do anything. I have this "click-and-go" methodology to my photo work and it comes out as junk. I'm like the photo equivalent of McDonald's. I hate that. I push myself so hard to grab as many photos as I can, of as many different fursuits as I can find. And I get precisely what I work for - thousands of photos that are indistinguishable from one another, save for the subject in them. This was also something I swore I'd change last year but I failed in it. There's nothing at AC that can help me there, but it's something I have to keep in mind. I need better photos, not more photos.
This past AC I almost took 2,000 photos (950 on Friday alone). The number of photos I've taken each year I've attended Anthrocon has steadily risen. I think it would be best for me to reverse that trend. Next year I want to take half as many photos, but I want each one of them to be truly memorable.
As for fursuit performance, I am not convinced everyone is a performer or can be taught to perform much like you can't teach anyone to dance (as applies to me try as I might). Some just enjoy wearing the skin of their fursona but they are the same person inside as out. When I put on my Tauntaun there is a part of me that takes on a different personality all by itself. It is not as outgoing as the way
Not sure if any of this helps or even makes sense but we can talk more about this at AC if you like. ;)
As for performance, I do want to perform. I think about it all year. But as I said, when I get on the spot, I draw a blank. I have to stop doing that.