STOP BEING HIPPIES!!!
STOP IT!!

"Now Eclypse, you know better than to patronize the Dolphins at the local aquarium with ideas of higher than human intellect."

No, its not tomfoolery. After much consideration and a private conversation had between the esteemed Dr. Teddybear In My Closet and I, we have come to the most obvious of conclusions. Dolphins as a species have subjected themselves to being hippies.

Now i'm not talking of course of the kind that go crazy and kill lab assistants while freeing enslaved animals, i'm talking about those damn tree hugers. The kind that we look at and feel slightly afraid of, as in the way we feel afraid of that picture in the attic that just keeps staring at you. Dolphins are nature's tree hugers. In fact the only difference between the two is that we can't hunt down the human hippies for fat and food as they have none to speak of... and I guess it might not look too good in the media (That's debatable). Its unknown as of yet whether its a societal choice or a genetic retardation, but somehow this superior species has subjected itself to being hunted and polluted (maybe its their idea of silent protest).

It can be argued that they are simply not developed enough and have not reached a level of human intelligence.
You foolish simple minded monkeys..... Dolphins are in fact far more mentally capable than us humans and we are even more stupid to think otherwise. We humans would shudder at the thought of their mass armies and technological superiority were they only to change their ways. I can even see a future of underwater human slave colonies, and giant terrestrial walkers crushing our cities. But instead they live free in the ocean, tickling each other and playing with barnacles (though they have the best orgies).

So I plead our glorious leaders..... STOP BEING HIPPIES AND ENSLAVE US ALREADY!!