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Goodbye Sad child
14 years ago
General
It's 12:26 am January 2.
I want to laugh, I want to cry. 19 years, almost 20 at this point and I only realize I'm unhappy with who I've been. And I'm tired of staring into the mirrors and seeing someone inside that I don't want to be. So I'm not going to be that girl anymore. I'm not going to hate who I am anymore. I'm not going to give a damn about what other people, stranger's no less, think about me. If I want to run around Walmart or whatever in a cloak, cat ears, and the little white star crown while looking for milk and cookies I'm gonna do it!
I don't want to be held back by the step father who told me I wasn't good enough. I AM good enough. I DESERVE to be happy and Damn it I'm going to be! I have every right to stand up for myself. I am NOT the doormat.
I'm taking off these heavy ass chains. I'm tired of him weighing me down. I have what it takes. I CAN do ANYTHING. I have wonderful people, Awesome friends, and the best damn Mate any girl could dream of in my life and they DESERVE to finally see me put all of this behind me. I DESERVE to put all of this behind me...
Goodbye Sad Child. Dry your tears. Know that you are loved. Know that you are beautiful. Know that all the things you think are flaws are the things that make you special. They are the things that set you apart from everyone else. These flaws make you, you. Close your eyes, dream happy dreams. Cast away the negativity that has been placed inside. It's time to let go of the pain, the sadness, the voice inside that belongs to him. Remember his voice can only effect you if you let it. Let. It. Go.
This year I am going to let a new life dawn inside of me. I'm going to let go of everything that has weighed me down. I am going to let my life blossom into the life I have always wanted.
My first step... in a new life... A life I deserve. A life where I can look in the mirror in the morning and feel beautiful, feel happy, and most of all... A life where I can love myself for who I am.
To Feu, my loving Mate, the love of my life... I am so sorry that two years you have had to suffer by watching me hate myself because of other people. And I vow that I AM going to be better. I AM going to be that girl you see skipping around miejer in a cloak and cat ears with that huge silly "Don't give a Fuck" grin on my face because were going to the zoo. I will be that girl you see inside. I might have bad days (a week or so every month :P) but I'm going to love myself. And I love you so very much. And I hope that I can show you just how much you mean to me one day. And I hope that I can show you too, how I see you in my eyes. Ignore your reflection, see what I see. I love you Drew. Now and for Forever.
Bring it on 2012! I'm ready.
I want to laugh, I want to cry. 19 years, almost 20 at this point and I only realize I'm unhappy with who I've been. And I'm tired of staring into the mirrors and seeing someone inside that I don't want to be. So I'm not going to be that girl anymore. I'm not going to hate who I am anymore. I'm not going to give a damn about what other people, stranger's no less, think about me. If I want to run around Walmart or whatever in a cloak, cat ears, and the little white star crown while looking for milk and cookies I'm gonna do it!
I don't want to be held back by the step father who told me I wasn't good enough. I AM good enough. I DESERVE to be happy and Damn it I'm going to be! I have every right to stand up for myself. I am NOT the doormat.
I'm taking off these heavy ass chains. I'm tired of him weighing me down. I have what it takes. I CAN do ANYTHING. I have wonderful people, Awesome friends, and the best damn Mate any girl could dream of in my life and they DESERVE to finally see me put all of this behind me. I DESERVE to put all of this behind me...
Goodbye Sad Child. Dry your tears. Know that you are loved. Know that you are beautiful. Know that all the things you think are flaws are the things that make you special. They are the things that set you apart from everyone else. These flaws make you, you. Close your eyes, dream happy dreams. Cast away the negativity that has been placed inside. It's time to let go of the pain, the sadness, the voice inside that belongs to him. Remember his voice can only effect you if you let it. Let. It. Go.
This year I am going to let a new life dawn inside of me. I'm going to let go of everything that has weighed me down. I am going to let my life blossom into the life I have always wanted.
My first step... in a new life... A life I deserve. A life where I can look in the mirror in the morning and feel beautiful, feel happy, and most of all... A life where I can love myself for who I am.
To Feu, my loving Mate, the love of my life... I am so sorry that two years you have had to suffer by watching me hate myself because of other people. And I vow that I AM going to be better. I AM going to be that girl you see skipping around miejer in a cloak and cat ears with that huge silly "Don't give a Fuck" grin on my face because were going to the zoo. I will be that girl you see inside. I might have bad days (a week or so every month :P) but I'm going to love myself. And I love you so very much. And I hope that I can show you just how much you mean to me one day. And I hope that I can show you too, how I see you in my eyes. Ignore your reflection, see what I see. I love you Drew. Now and for Forever.
Bring it on 2012! I'm ready.
Not enough hearts...
Still not enough!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NEED MOAR HARTZ!!!!
better...