*sighs* well there's a few words to describe my Christmas this year. Obe could say uncomfortable, awkward, decent, slightly disappointing, and a little suprising.

Well to start off maybe I should share a little about my current situation.
Well in mid October my father confronted me about some stuff he found under my mattress a week earlier. Those things happened to be my diapers, dresses, bibs, collars, and all other things about my whole secret if being a sissy adult baby (the furry stuff hadnt been discovered yet). Without my knowledge my father commenced to throw away all my diapers and my pacifiers and only that (I am yet to know why he only threw out those items). I discovered this when he confronted me. So around that time one of my teachers contacted my parents saying I was sleeping in class. Their solution was to have me charge my phone downstairs in their room. I had my sissypaw email accounts set up on my phone so my solution to that was to use airplane mode and turn off my phone. Little did I know that my charging my phone that it turned itself on in the night and that airplane mode dosnt work when this happens so I continue recieving email notifications from twitter. My dad woke up and brought my phone up to me and asked about my twitter and the name sissypaw. Later that day when I return home from school I check the web history to find that they googled me and found my twitter and my FA and proceded to check me out. Not only that but they had found a sexual therapist (which we are all activly seeing at the moment). My parents were furious that I had posted personal things about my life like pics of me, foursquare checkins and stuff like that. They want me to be off the Internet completely but somehow we have avoided that.

So basically since the above mentioned events I have been sent into depression (which I am curently still dealing with) and I just feel like my life has gotten a little worse. My parents no longer trust me, they are watching over every online activity I am doing ( no Internet privacy) and I have been giving things up in negotiations without getting anything in return.

So basically due to my parents not trusting me all they suggested for people to get me for Christmas were food giftcards some to restrunts I cant go eat at. And I only got around $25 cash. Then the only thing I asked for that they would agree to buy was a stero receiver for my car (which I'll be getting a new car in a year or two) so basically I really got nothing I wanted and Christmas was surrounded with lots of issues, mistrust, evil glances at me, fights, and long conversations where I discovered that my parents want to "cure" me.

The only good thing that came out of this christmas was that we all got a PS3 but that was for my whole family and I'll probably be moving out soon ( in about a year and a half) so it really will be no use to me in a short while.

So now I sit here depressed and all wondering what my future holds inshore for me. It my parents really love me for who I am or if they only love they half of me that I let them know. If the trust will ever be repaired. If I will ever actually be happy again. So many ifs in my life right now and it's so hard and scary. I wish someone could really help. I mean my fur family has helped a little but it dosnt fix it my life is still in shambles.