So, I decided to come back to FA after my mate asked me to and so far no drama on my end... from the site. Since then, I've been diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkins lymphoma cancer and have been getting chemo every other week. On top of that, my family life isn't the greatest. My grandfather has been the main reason why my art and writing skills have been lacking. He's the reason why my self esteem is so low.. His selfishness, racism, and whole life has brought his so called "loved ones" nothing but pain and hurt. Not just emotionally, but physically as well. Usually, I've had a somewhat upity view. But lately, I've been extremely depressed.. I've thought of going back to cutting, and once even the thought of suicide has crossed my mind.. but my mate has been faithful to me, giving me what little light in my life I have. He lives in the next state over, and we don't get to see each other very often, which also hurts us very much. Now that I'm doing chemo, their is a possible chance that my immune system may be shot enough so I can't travel anywhere, when we planned to be together for Valentines Day. *sigh* If anyone could give me some tips, or contact me privately just to talk, I would greatly appreciate it...