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my birthday and venting on father.
14 years ago
well viewers,i'm going to be 22 on jan 11.i'm going to tell you guys this,i hate my own birthdays,i become sort of a asshole,yeap!you wanna know why i hate my own birthday?well i hate getting old.it..it..it just sucks.it sucks so much it's like reading a r.l stine book.yeah..you wanna know what i just do.i sit it bed,feeling like crap,listening to eminem's stan all day....i wonder if dad felt like this when he had his birthdays......
my dad died in 2010,june 20th.i was up in washington,near pueget sound.june 20th...jeeze..i remember that day.it was raining and me and my cousin were coming back to where i was staying at my uncle's house.the song we were listening to was my december by linkin park.when we got to the house,my uncle and aunt looked worried..they told me what happened.my father was fine for a few days,and then,he hung himself in the garage.my grandmother..his mom found him.when i found out that day it felt like someone pulled reality out from under me,and replaced it with concrete.i just couldn't picture it.my father,a biker,a awesome guy,died by the rope.that night i went on facebook,told the news,and then stayed up.i couldn't even sleep.all that night i heard sounds,sounds of motorcycles,but they were actually helicopters.after that,i went back to wisconsin,had the funeral,and took most of his things.i got most of his cd's like iron maiden,killer dwarves,violent femmes,puff daddy(aka sean combs..i don't know what he calls himself anymore) and the notorious B.I.G.everyone said that i took my dad's death very well.i did on the outside,but on the inside....it was a different story.somedays i felt depressed(mainly because of the weather).and most days i went on my usual way.
when i turned 21,i wanted to have my first legal drink with my father.i did but then poured a little bit out of it for respect of my dad.he had his sharp edges..i'll have to talk more about this...a friend on this site told me to talk about it more to people.i thank her for that.i'm typing this on january 8,12:05 2012.the more i type,the more i feel better.whoever is reading,thank you for making it this far.i'll some pictures as soon as i can get some free time and the weather isn't so bad.i need to do a scenery pic.if anyone needs a scenery pic for something,ask me.i'll find the place around town,take a few pictures,and then make tracks.i'll do it for free as long as you add with a little help from ravecrow or whatever you wanna say.
song for the day-waste by foster the people.
my dad died in 2010,june 20th.i was up in washington,near pueget sound.june 20th...jeeze..i remember that day.it was raining and me and my cousin were coming back to where i was staying at my uncle's house.the song we were listening to was my december by linkin park.when we got to the house,my uncle and aunt looked worried..they told me what happened.my father was fine for a few days,and then,he hung himself in the garage.my grandmother..his mom found him.when i found out that day it felt like someone pulled reality out from under me,and replaced it with concrete.i just couldn't picture it.my father,a biker,a awesome guy,died by the rope.that night i went on facebook,told the news,and then stayed up.i couldn't even sleep.all that night i heard sounds,sounds of motorcycles,but they were actually helicopters.after that,i went back to wisconsin,had the funeral,and took most of his things.i got most of his cd's like iron maiden,killer dwarves,violent femmes,puff daddy(aka sean combs..i don't know what he calls himself anymore) and the notorious B.I.G.everyone said that i took my dad's death very well.i did on the outside,but on the inside....it was a different story.somedays i felt depressed(mainly because of the weather).and most days i went on my usual way.
when i turned 21,i wanted to have my first legal drink with my father.i did but then poured a little bit out of it for respect of my dad.he had his sharp edges..i'll have to talk more about this...a friend on this site told me to talk about it more to people.i thank her for that.i'm typing this on january 8,12:05 2012.the more i type,the more i feel better.whoever is reading,thank you for making it this far.i'll some pictures as soon as i can get some free time and the weather isn't so bad.i need to do a scenery pic.if anyone needs a scenery pic for something,ask me.i'll find the place around town,take a few pictures,and then make tracks.i'll do it for free as long as you add with a little help from ravecrow or whatever you wanna say.
song for the day-waste by foster the people.
