It's 2012 and HEY I'M STILL ALIVE.

First thing's first, I'm back in northern California right now with  kilometers and  ke and we're going to FC! Thanks to  astolpho, I even have a panel where I'll be drawing and talking on Sunday, so be on the lookout for that! I hope to see and meet some of you there. I CAN'T WAIT.

And now onto the other stuff. It's been a long time since my last journal, and a LOT has happened since then. These past few months have been especially hard, and while I don't like sharing the grimy details (( in fact I'm really nervous about writing this )), I'm going to do it anyways because I think it'll help me to share what I've been going through personally. I'm the sort of person that is usually happy and upbeat, so when I'm not, it makes me feel off and as a result I often bottle it up. I dunno, I just hate seeing other people get sad or upset and it makes me feel that sharing this sort of information would make others sad too, so I'm always hesitant about saying anything or revealing what truly goes on. I'm not writing this for pity, but I think this might give a little better insight?

In September I had to move from hotel to hotel and city to city until I could no longer afford it and though it pained me, I put my two cats into a no-kill shelter. I haven't seen them since and probably never will again, so I can only hope for the best and pray they are safe and doing well, if not better! After that, I eventually I had to sleep outside and in random office buildings, hiding out on the floor and sleeping under the desks. It was pretty crazy. Towards October I was able to stay at a few friend's houses, and in November I was able to stay for a little bit with my aunt. For Christmas I was able to visit with my sister in Nevada and even got a 3DS along the way! Things aren't quite 100% back to normal, but it's actually getting a LOT better, and after going through all that, I'm seriously so thankful to still be alive. I'm really not sure how I did it, and I'll admit, throughout this experience, I've often been afraid to ask others for help and even felt kind of ashamed to tell people about this situation, but I've gotten some help from friends and it's taken me a long way. Even small things like a new sweater to keep me warm really made me so grateful and gave me hope. I really lost a lot both physically and emotionally and while I often felt like giving up, something kept telling me to keep going, and now that drive is slowly helping me to try and repair the damage, to build myself up again from the ground up.

Wow, it feels so weird typing this all out. But I think just writing this is making me feel a little better! I'm a little worried about what people might think, but I guess the real moral here is don't give up. Things got really bad for me, but I never gave up and now things are already starting to turn around! Even now I can't believe that I'll be going to a convention with friends and hosting a panel. It's really blowing my mind just thinking about it. And of course, I have to say thanks to all you guys, for sticking by me and for keeping interest in my art. It really means so much to me to know that there are such nice people out there.

AND NOW FOR GOOD NEWS: after FC, I'll be returning to FA in February! MORE ART AND MORE ICONS TOO, SO JUST SIT TIGHT.

Thanks guys, I love you all so much. If you really read this all, then you're a real trooper. I hope all of you are doing well and I can't wait to see what 2012 has to offer! I think it's gonna be better this year, I can feel it!