The worst thing that I wanted to say that happened to me today was that I had the worst cup of coffee in my life. Not only was is the only food source that I had ever consumed in my entire life that managed to make me shudder, if there were witnesses they would have called 911 because it looked like I was having a death spasm. If not for the fact that I was on holy ground, you'd think it was brewed by Satan himself, until you realize that even he isn't that big of a dick to have done so.

Half an hour ago, even the dumbest person in the world would agree with me that my mom should never be in charge of the welfare of another living thing. If I was of such disposition, no jury would convict me for my actions. None. At. All. And to tell the truth, if not for my selfless actions, my brother would have done it for me.